Sticking To The Script #MondayMusings

Sticking To The Script #MondayMusings


I’ve been thinking a lot about how expressing one’s authentic self and how often we can be stopped by others. Our own insecurity causes us to believe other people when they tell us that sticking to the script is the best way to survive.

Sticking To The Script?

Sticking to the script means making choices that are comfortable. Making choices that make other people in our lives comfortable. Never going off the beaten path. Following the herd. Never giving yourself permission to be really you. Doing what’s expected of you, never what you really want to. Never really questioning, because questions bring discomfort. Trying new things bring unease.

My question is who wrote the script? 

Here’s a modern day fable I read recently, that illustrates  what might happen if we stick to the script.

A group of scientists placed five monkeys in a cage, and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on top.
Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, every time a monkey would start up the ladder, the others would pull it down and beat it up.
After a time, no monkey would dare try climbing the ladder, no matter how great the temptation.

The scientists then decided to replace one of the monkeys. The first thing this new monkey did was start to climb the ladder. Immediately, the others pulled him down and beat him up.

After several beatings, the new monkey learned never to go up the ladder, even though there was no evident reason not to, aside from the beatings.

The second monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The first monkey participated in the beating of the second monkey. A third monkey was changed and the same was repeated. The fourth monkey was changed, resulting in the same, before the fifth was finally replaced as well.

What was left was a group of five monkeys that – without ever having received a cold shower – continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder.

If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they beat up on all those who attempted to climb the ladder, their most likely answer would be “I don’t know. It’s just how things are done around here.”

The moral of this story? Sticking to the script is for monkeys!

separator
Would you like to take part in #MondayMusings?

Here’s how it works:

  • Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
  • Use the hashtag #MondayMusings.
  • Add your link to the linky below
  • Use our #MondayMusings badge to encourage other bloggers join in too.
  • Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.
  • Share the love.
#MondayMusings
Reflectionsfromme

#MicroblogMondays


Image via Shutterstock

Make A Difference By Being You  #FridayReflections

Make A Difference By Being You #FridayReflections

There are days when I admire what another person is doing. I’m amazed at how they are living their lives. Amazed at the difference they are making. It’s hard not to think about my life. To compare. To wonder if I’m making any difference at all. What’s the impact my life is having on the world? Am I truly making a difference? How can I do more? Questions, questions……

And they sometimes lead to depression. To negative self-talk. To beating myself up about not doing enough. Telling myself that just living is not enough.

It’s easy to want to be more. To do more. To wonder about my legacy.

Then I realize is what I need to do is to all myself to be ME. I need to start with why.

Make A Difference By Being You

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall.

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

24 February 2017

  1. The thing I do most often when I’m meant to be doing something else…
  2. Write a letter to a fictional character
  3. Write on any of the prompts given in February
  4. “What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration for one.
  5. Picture Prompt (everydaygyaan.com)


Start With Why  #martinlutherking #MondayMusings

Start With Why #martinlutherking #MondayMusings

About a month ago a shared a video of Simon Sinek’s TED Talk, ‘How great leaders inspire action’ based on his book, Start With Why. Watching it, I realized that this was going to be one of those life changing resources for me.

I have yet to read the book, but this video made so much sense. It got me thinking about the ‘why’ of many things I’m doing. I know it’s going to help me make better choices going forward.

If you haven’t watched this video yet, I’d urge you to do so now.

 

Today on Martin Luther King Day, I’m happy to share Simon Sinek’s talk about Dr King’s ‘why’.

In the summer of 1963, 250,000 people showed up on the Mall of Washington, DC. to hear Dr. King speak. They sent out no invitations and there was no website to check the date. How do you do that? Well, Dr. King wasn’t the only man in America who was a great orator. He wasn’t the only man in America who suffered in pre civil rights America. In fact some of his ideas were bad but he had a gift. He didn’t go around telling people what needed to change in America. He went around and told people what he believed. “I believe, I believe, I believe,” he told people. And people who believed what he believed took his cause and made it their own and they told people. And some of those people created structures to get the word out to even more people. And lo and behold, 250,000 people showed up on the right day, at the right time to hear him speak. How many of them showed up for him? Zero. They showed up for themselves. It’s what they believed about America that got them to travel in a bus for eight hours to stand in the sun in Washington in the middle of August. It’s what they believed. And it wasn’t about black versus white. Twenty five percent of the audience was white.

Dr. King believed that there were two types of laws in this world: those that are made by a higher authority and those that are made by man and not until all the laws that are made by man are consistent with the laws that are made by a higher authority will we live in a just world. It just so happens that the Civil Rights Movement was the perfect thing to help him bring his cause to life. We follow him not for him, but for ourselves. And by the way, he gave the I Have a Dream speech not the I Have a Plan speech.

separator
Would you like to take part in #MondayMusings?

Here’s how it works:

  • Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
  • Use the hashtag #MondayMusings.
  • Add your link to the linky below
  • Use our #MondayMusings badge to encourage other bloggers join in too.
  • Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.
  • Share the love.
#MondayMusings

 


Choose To Shine  #MondayMusings

Choose To Shine #MondayMusings

Often we think of all the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘could have beens’ ‘should have beens’ and allow them to prevent us from being happy in the present moment. I think if we all learned to  choose to shine in all situations, we would be so much happier.

The author, Sue Monk Kidd writes the story about her daughter, coming home from school in early December, telling her mother she got one of the great parts in the Nativity Play.
“What part did you get?”
“I’m the Star of Bethlehem!” the daughter says proudly.
“Well, what will you do?” Sue asks.
“I just stand there and shine.”

Choose To Shine

I choose
to live by choice, not by luck
to choose to focus today,  not look back on yesterday
to be grateful for all I have,  not yearn for more
to make lasting changes, not never-ending excuses
to listen to the wisdom of my heart, not the opinions of people who don’t matter

I choose
to make a difference, but not be used
to reach out in love, but not be taken for granted
to listen with understanding, but not be drawn into drama.
I choose to be creative
I choose to be brave
I choose to live in the Light
I choose to shine

Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” ― Anne Lamott

choose to shine

pic via Karenika

separator
Would you like to take part in #MondayMusings?

Here’s how it works:

  • Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
  • Use the hashtag #MondayMusings.
  • Add your link to the linky below
  • Use our #MondayMusings badge to encourage other bloggers join in too.
  • Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.
  • Share the love.
#MondayMusings

 

 

Image of flowers in light bulbs via Shutterstock

2017 Is Already Different #FridayReflections

2017 Is Already Different #FridayReflections

One of our #FridayReflections prompt this week asks me to share three things that I plan to do differently in 2017. It seems to me that 2017 is already different, mainly because of one specific  change I’ve made. While declaring that my word of the year is ‘happy’, I quietly promised myself that this would be the year of ‘no guilt’, and 6 days later, I’m happy to report that it’s started to work. I know I have many days ahead, but I can sense the big difference this is making. (No guilt about posting this late, for example!)

3 Things I Plan To Do Differently in 2017

  1. Plan my days better – and here’s where I’ve started to see the use and the wisdom of a bullet journal.  Yes my bullet journal, albeit a crude and self-made one, is working for me. The best part of this is the ease with which I can carry jobs forward. Once again, reduced guilt.
  2. Do my Morning Pages within the day even if it is not necessarily in the morning. When I don’t do a day, I’m not going to allow guilt to stop me from restarting.
  3. Go for a walk as many times a week as I can. The difference this year is that I’m not going to focus on weight loss, but on getting healthy.

What are you doing differently in 2017?

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

Our featured writer this week was Mithila for her take on saying goodbye to 2016. You can be our featured writer too. All you need to do is write on one of the prompts and link up below. Remember to read other posts and share the love. Don’t forget to come back on Monday and vote for your favourite post!

Prompts for this week:

1. Favourite book of all time
2. The driving force of your life
3. Three things I’d do differently this year
4. “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi. Use this quote within your post or as an inspiration for one
5. Picture Prompt (credit: http://everydaygyaan.com)

Image of welcome 2017 text on cloud shape chalkboard via Shutterstock

Happy In 2017 #FridayReflections #WOTY

Happy In 2017 #FridayReflections #WOTY

For the last few years, I’ve been choosing a word for the year ahead – my word of the year. Last year, my word was ‘simplify‘. The year before, it was the phrase ‘daring greatly‘.  I’ve been thinking on my word for next year and I’ve decided that I’m going to be happy in 2017.

Happy in 2017

What does the word happy mean to me? I’m listing it all out as thoughts occur to me – there will be a lot more as the year progresses.

  • Learning to accept myself more
  • Putting less pressure on myself
  • Enjoying the simple pleasures of daily life
  • Laughing a lot
  • Being grateful in all circumstances
  • Loving others as they need to be loved
  • Taking responsibility for my words and actions
  • Forgiving others
  • Being genuine and authentic in all my relationships
  • Working with joy
  • Listening to a lot more music
  • Reading less, and conversing more
  • Making meaningful connections online
  • Being a motivating presence to others
  • Taking more photographs
  • Being more creative
  • Trying out new ideas
  • Walking more
  • Being healthy
  • Singing loudly
  • Resigning from being general manager of the Universe. The paragraph below tells you what I mean by that. 😉

As Aunt Naomi was listing all the things she was going to do to help this person, her friend stopped her in mid-sentence. “Naomi, girl,” she said, “you need to resign as general manager of the universe. You need to learn that sometimes the best way to help a person is to let them help themselves. Otherwise, they never learn how. And they are always going to make their problems your problems.” –Patti LaBelle

My Happiness Project

I’ll be revisiting Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project  and restarting my My Happiness Project. Stay tuned. 🙂

What’s your word for 2017?

 #FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

Prompts for this week:

1. Write about the month you were happiest in 2016
2. Reflect on 2016, the year gone by
3. Write on any of the prompts from December
4. “Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you” – Mandy Hale. Use this in your post or an inspiration for one.
5. What is your Word of the Year for 2017? You’re welcome to link your post here and also on Laurel Regan’s blog.

Our featured writer for last week as voted by you, was Linda for her beautiful post on Christmas Contrasts. You can be our featured writer for next week. All you have to do is write a post on one of the prompts, share and link up. And don’t forget, you can now vote for your favourite post of the week from Monday.

Image credit : 2017 happy new year with word faith, hope, love on the river stone via Shutterstock

Leaving A Legacy Of Love #FridayReflections

Leaving A Legacy Of Love #FridayReflections

There comes a time when you think about your legacy and wonder if you are leaving a legacy of love.

The other day I mentioned to a friend that I’ve pledged to have my body donated after death. And if that didn’t happen, I’d like to be cremated, and not leave others with the responsibility of tending to my grave. This is especially so because we have no kids.

He responded by asking me, why I thought no one would care enough. No, I haven’t changed my mind about donating my body, but I’ve thought a lot about the legacies we leave.  I’m sure you know by now that I reflect on this quite often.

The world we live in today is one in which we are often so disconnected from each other, despite being ‘connected’ all the time. Sometimes, I believe we’ve forgotten the importance of truly paying attention to the people we talk to or connect with. How often, we’re on our devices while someone talks to us. I know I do it.

Today, I do believe that the words of Maya Angelou and the prophecy of the Hopi Elders is calling us to leave a legacy of love. To build hope. To make deep connections. To form community.

hopi elders' prophecy

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

 

Prompts for 23 Dec 2016

1. What’s the meaning of Christmas to you?
2. Share some favourite Christmas memories.
3. Favourite festival to celebrate.
4. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou. Use this in your post or as an inspiration for your post
5. Picture Prompt (credit: Living my Imperfect Life)

friday-reflections-picture-prompt-2312-2016

Image credit: Red heart via Shutterstock

Looking Back To Go Forward #FridayReflections

Looking Back To Go Forward #FridayReflections

It’s almost 2017, and I’m looking back to go forward. As always, at this time of year, I’m dreaming up things and making changes.  One of these changes is that I’m moving the hosting of #FridayReflections over from Write Tribe to Everyday Gyaan. You might have noticed that this website has a new look and there will be a lot changes with Write Tribe too soon.

Looking Back To Go Forward

Looking back on 2016, I have much to be thankful for – health, well-being, love, new learning and meaningful relationships.

The year may not have been anything like the one I planned. If you’ve been a long time reader, you’ll know that this is not something new with me. I’m quite inconsistent in some ways, and predictable in others. I like to think of myself as being flexible with schedules and plans. But there are a few things that I need to be inflexible about – exercising and writing regularly and being more organized.

Yesterday, I read this question in  Tara Mohr‘s post : What is the character trait of mine that most got in the way of my happiness?

My first answer to that I’m too sensitive, allowing people’s behaviour and choices to affect my own. I know I’m getting better at not being so affected. But there are times when I react with too much emotion. While I might not express these emotions as freely as I used to in public, somethings do hurt and I tend to mull on them too long.

Here’s something that I must take to heart – especially the last part :

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

What would your answer to Tara Mohr’s question be?

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

I’m also joining Kristi of Finding Ninee for Finish The Sentence Friday.

Prompts for 16 Dec 2016

1. What’s in your bag/purse? Share a picture and write something about the items.
2. If you could re-take a class from your school or uni days, which would it be.
3. If time froze for everyone for an hour but you, what would you do? Get creative!
4. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou
5. Picture Prompt (via everydaygyaan.com)