Father’s Day? I always wonder about days like Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. Are they created for commercial purposes? Are they meant to be that one day of the year you treat with kindness, the people you take for granted all year around? If so, we need to add a lot more  such ‘special’ days to the year, because I sure do take a lot of people for granted.

My Fathers Day Grievance List

Dearest Dad

Today is Father’s Day and I haven’t wished you, yet. This is a strange kind of ‘letter’ to write on a day like this, but like I said, I’m not really sure about the ‘specialness’ of Father’s Day. However, what this day made me resolve to share with you the list of grievances I have against you.

Grievance Number 1 – Being Taken For Granted

How’s that your fault, you wonder? Well, the fact is that you’re always there when people need you. I lose count of the number of  people who’ve been at the receiving end of your support and assistance.  You’ve provided for and taken on loads of people who need (and some who don’t need – but just take advantage!!!) your advice and your help. Perhaps, the fact that you’re always asking people how you can help them, makes it difficult for them to say ‘no’?

So it would help, if (sometimes) you sat back. Let other people reach out to those in need. And allow those who just act helpless to learn to take care of themselves! The fact that being taken for granted sometimes causes you to feel upset, leads me to….

Grievance Number 2 – Not Sharing Your Pain

Yes, that’s a big negative in your nature. I’ve learnt, from my inclination to bottle pain, that it doesn’t work. No, it is not stoical to take whatever comes on the chin. There’s a time and a place for that. But there’s also a time and a place and persons you must unburden yourself to. You must learn to tell people when they’ve hurt you. Don’t tell me it’s too late for an old dog (an 85 year old!) to learn new tricks. You’re the same person who picked up how to use the computer at 82 – so you can and must learn to tell us when you’re hurt or angry or upset. I’ve learnt to do this and though my outbursts may not always be ‘nice’ (and certainly not palatable to you), they make me feel better about myself, about others and about life.

Grievance Number 3 – The Way I am

I’m sure you had a lot of dreams about the way you wanted me to turn out. I’m pretty sure that I haven’t lived up to some of those dreams. I’m definitely not a soft-spoken and gentle-natured woman – but then who is to blame for me being opinionated and strong? You!

  • Yes, by allowing me to have my own opinion and giving me space to express it – you encouraged me to speak my mind.
  • By letting me take my own decisions, watching me make mistakes and letting me learn from them, you encouraged me to strong.
  • By not treating me any different from my brothers, you taught me to be a believer in  equal rights.

Okay – so Number 3 isn’t really a grievance, but I thought it was important to say these things.

So Dad, this Father’s Day, please resolve to treat yourself well – and do retire, finally! Put your feet up, let go of all those things you ‘need to do’ for other people – they’ll survive, I promise. And read all those books waiting to be read, watch all those movies you’ve wanted to and listen to all that music you enjoy!

Your daughter (aren’t you glad you had just one? 😉 )

PS:  You’re the person I seem to take for granted the most. I don’t mean to be this way, I guess I’ve just fallen in to the habit, as have a lot of people in your life. The occasional word of appreciation or birthday wishes  are not enough to tell you just how much you mean to me and my grateful thanks for all you have done and continue to do for me.