Method_Mum she calls herself and there’s just something about her that struck me as being real and honest. She’s new to the world of blogging but not new to life….Franca Reale shares her views, her lessons and her wonderful recipes on her blog. Today she’s sharing with us her recipe for life……..
Thank you, Franca. It’s much appreciated.
I often curl up into a ball of nothingness and contemplate on my life’s journey so far. So I started putting my feelings on paper. I am not a writer, by no account of the word. I felt I was being swallowed up by the world, by life and being forgotten. So I needed an escape for my emotions and fears, a documentation of my life and existence.
As a child I did not have a say, my voice belonged to my parents, at school it belonged to my teachers, then I married I lost it to my husband and children. Now hopefully I can slowly regain it and with it together with my identity, dignity and self-respect, by writing my little journals, maybe insignificant to some, but important to me!!
I hope, one day, I will be brave and talented enough to write my story without having to hold back, for fear of repercussions, to finally take off the different masks I wear each day to help me cope with life’s adversities.
I’ve always believed in fairy tales. I’ve grown up with Walt Disney Movies, that always depicted a prince charming, someone coming to the rescue. I have fond memories of my childhood, certainly nothing I needed rescuing from. But with sitcoms like ‘Father Knows Best’ and ‘Leave It To Beaver’ always depicting the perfect family with the impeccably groomed mother and the ever so perfect children, a spotless house and that white picket fence. I wanted that too. I grew up with a strong family environment and I desperately wanted to re-create it with my own husband and children. That, I must say became my one and only goal and focus in my life, and foregoing everything else. In a way, I think, that is where I eventually lost sight of who I was and with it I lost my voice.
Having grown up believing that life was like a TV sitcom, I imagined my life would be everything perfect!! Don’t get me wrong. A big part of my fairytale came true. For one I did not have to kiss too many frogs to find my Prince , whom I married, and pretty much wanted to start my life with!
But my dream was not as easy as I thought, I had problems falling pregnant and had two very traumatic miscarriages and health issues that life threw at me. Nonetheless, I am blessed with two children who I would give my life for,in an instant. However, that perfect house and that god-forsaken white picket fence had, by now, had become an obsession with me….I thought marriage was a package deal, that came with, a husband, children, love and a house and we would all live happily ever after.
That was the fallacy. I was brought back to reality, from the day I said “I Do”. I have never regretted marrying my husband, but I hadn’t realized to what extent, when you marry you don’t just marry the person you marry their entire family. If there is any jealousy on either side it will tear you apart as it did me.
I have, from these experiences, learnt the some life lessons which I have shared with my children and today would like to share with you.
Give priority to family, love and respect. To me, these things are very important and I have tried to instill in them in my children
It’s okay to be wrong and admit it. As parents, with our children, and we all make mistakes. Be able to tell your children “I’m sorry” and mean it. Be proud, but never too proud to admit to your mistakes and to ask for forgiveness.
Never be so competitive and jealous to the point where it will hurt someone. Compromise and Compassion are better than Competition and Conflict.
If any of these ingredients are missing or tampered with, there is no ‘Happily Ever After”…there is no fairy tale ending – only a life of heartache, torment and loneliness.
For all of you that have all the necessary elements in your life, be thankful. Be truly thankful for what you have, and realize how blessed you are. There are many out there that would change places with you in a heartbeat.
The doors we go through or close each day decide the lives we choose to live. Sometimes it’s the doors we least expect that can change our lives the most.
I am learning that true happiness comes from within you. I am still hoping for my “Happy Ever After” but not depending on anyone to provide it for me, or for someone or something to come along and make me happy.
Don’t ever give anyone the power to bring you down, or take away your self-worth, and your voice.
No one else can decide your destiny and your ability. Everyone begins life with a blank journal. You should decide how it is written. There will be many chapters so don’t worry about how it ends, take a day at a time, try to enjoy the journey.
As much as we hate it, sometimes we may have to say good bye and walk away from people we love. It doesn’t mean we don’t love or care for them any longer or think about them. It just means we can no longer cope with their wanton destruction of our life. But never fully close the door on them, as one day they may realize, what they had and come back.
~ Franca Reale