Over the last few days, I’ve felt a great deal of anger towards someone and am hopping mad about something. So then, why I’m here posting about one of my favorite subjects – Happiness. Want to know why? Because I am happy despite the emotion of anger that I feel. Weird? But then like I always say, happiness is not only an emotion, it is a choice.
Some things that I’ve learned over the last few years, not from reading, but from experience and I never tire of repeating them are:
First, and most importantly – only You can make You happy.
Second, it’s okay to feel the unpleasant emotions of anger, disgust, fear… . These are all emotions that are indicators of the reality we are experiencing. For example, fear warns us that there might be possible danger. Or anger indicates possible injustice. Your emotions indicate that you are alive and human. If you don’t feel any of these, I’d be worried, if I were you…
Third, and a very important learning for me, is that it’s fine to express your feelings of anger or disappointment. If you’re unhappy with someone or something it’s critical to find a valid way of expressing these emotions. For example, your partner’s behavior upsets you – then it’s okay to tell them what it is about them that upsets you.
Fourth, if you don’t express your feelings in a valid way, either to the person who has caused you this pain, or to someone else, then I’m afraid you’ll end up suppressing them. And suppression is like constantly putting stuff into a garbage can and pressing it down – someday the stink will make its way out!
Fifth, it’s perfectly okay to walk away. Sometimes we stay in bad situations or painful relationships because we feel we’ve invested so much of time and energy in to them, that we by walking away it will all be ‘wasted’. More often, it’s our fear of change, of not having a partner or a friend, that causes us to stay. Better to have something than nothing, we think. As someone said, the opposite of happiness is not unhappiness, it’s fear. So don’t sit on your pain or wear it as a crown, please. Like, I mentioned yesterday, ‘victims’ are losers. Walk away from pain, walk towards happiness.
Sixth, if you can’t change your circumstances, you can certainly change your feelings towards them. I know many people who have to deal, on a daily basis, with illness, or with children with special needs. They can’t change these circumstances, but I see people dealing with similar situations differently. Some radiate joy and peace – some operate out of fear. The ‘winners’ are not happy because of their circumstances. They’re happy despite their circumstances – because they’ve chosen to be happy.
So despite my feelings of anger and disappointment, I choose not to be unhappy. That would only give people and circumstances power over me, and that’s not a mistake I’m likely to make again.
Today, I choose happiness. What are you choosing today?
May you be inspired – everyday!