He was a married man. He had an affair. He swore to his wife that he hadn’t. He offered to go with her on popular TV show and tell the whole world he was not cheating. She took him up on the offer. He was offered a lie detector test. He refused. Then he agreed to answer one question, because the question offered to him went like this: “Did you have an affair with Mrs…..?” He was so ready to answer that. But at the last minute they changed the question to: “Have you had an affair during your marriage?” He failed the test! (This is my condensed version of an episode on The Dr Phil Show).

So now he was not just a guy who cheated on his wife – failed in his marriage – but he was also an blatant liarFailure or liar – which is better?

I know I have done this. Made a mistake. Messed up. Transgressed. Whatever you want to call it. Now we have to face the consequences and we wish it weren’t so. The wishing and hoping is okay. What is not okay is telling a lie to cover up misdeeds.  But I have done that too. And then it all spins out of control. One lie leads to another.

Try the blame game? That’s as old as the hills too. Remember Adam? He tried it too. “It was all the snake’s fault.” That doesn’t work either.

How we long to make it all go away. Escape.  We’re wishing for Control-Alt-Delete.



I’ve learned the hard way, that honesty is truly the best policy. If you’ve messed up, say so. Or else you’ll not only be guilty of failing, but also of lying. Wouldn’t you rather be called a failure than a liar?

I know I’ve often attempted to lie myself out of situations rather than admit I made poor choices. I’ve learned just how wrong this is.  Why do we do this, I wonder. In an effort to look like we’re perfect, perhaps? We don’t want to embarrass ourselves, our family?

However,  I’ve experienced that there is forgiveness and grace available in plenty. When I admit I’m wrong – people forgive, I feel God‘s forgiveness too. I experience the graciousness of God and his people when I admit my faults and feel truly sorry for them. And most of all I find grace and forgiveness within myself, to let it go and to be free.

Failure or liar – which is better?

This is my response to the prompt ‘honesty’ given by Magical Mystical Mimi the host of The Thursday Blog Hop on The Writer’s Post.