You Used Me

if you could only hear me ...

You used me
Yes , you did.
You used me
You took my love and affection
Used it to flatter your ego and add me to your possessions.
You used me
And I was a willing victim;
Unconsciously perhaps, but willing no doubt.
You used me.
But did you really?
I needed your love, your acceptance, your affection,
I was willing to pay the price for it
You didn’t use me – we just bartered ourselves.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 


 

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Corinne Rodrigues

An inspirational and motivational blogger journeying happily through midlife. I blog here and on Write Tribe and CorinneRodrigues.com.

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  1. The old give and take bartering of ourselves. Giving what we need, hoping for a return. Eager expectations keeping score. It’s all in the game, but I don’t like games. I’m no good at them. So, I’m trying to learn to love freely, without expectations or score keeping. It’s easier to draw on jello than to learn this lesson. But I’m getting there. You are quite the thought provoker Corinne! Sending love this morning <3
    Leah recently posted..Fear of FlyingMy Profile

    • Your comment as always adds so much, Leah. Yes, I don’t like games too and I’m trying very hard not to play them. As you said, it’s a tough lesson to learn. But the fact that we want to learn it, is a good start, I think. Lots of love to you, Leah. ♥

  2. Mary Hudak-Collins
    Twitter:
    says:

    We allow ourselves to experience all kinds of emotions, positive and negative. Others do not ‘make’ us feel a certain way…we allow it. Once we can master controlling this and keep it from happening, we begin to see just how much power we have over our own persona. Great poem Corinne, and I love the quote! Hope you have a wonderful weekend ♥♥♥

    • Isn’t it odd that we allow others to ‘use’ us and then blame them for it, Mary? Owning responsibility for our feelings is something we all need to learn.
      I hope you have a great weekend. Is there a celebration on for Michaela’s good news? :)

  3. Corinne – I am speechless!!

    I perhaps needed to hear this today…thank you so much for this one :)
    Privy Trifles recently posted..Of Loving, Laughing and LivingMy Profile

  4. So very true, Corinne!
    Most relationships are like this – I’ll give you this if you give me that or I’m taking this in return for that, and when the balance starts toppling, all hell breaks loose..
    Bindu recently posted..‘Room’ by Emma DonoghueMy Profile

  5. Wonderfully written. And so true – I can relate to this.

  6. Dear Corinne,

    I see you growing at the speed of light — I am amazed! Whatever you’re ‘on’ — I want some too ;-)

    It is true that ‘being used’ is never a one-way street. When we give up the luxury of blaming others for ANYTHING we don’t like about our lives, we gain the power to create a life we can truly embrace! XOXOXO
    Dangerous Linda recently posted..friday momentMy Profile

    • Linda, I learn from the company I keep. So whatever I’m ‘on’ you are too!
      I’ve learned that it’s so easy to blame someone else for the ‘mess’ our lives are in and thus give up some more power. Time to take back responsibility and power, don’t you think?

  7. Yes, I felt this way a long time ago, and I remember thinking–I give and I bleed for affection, but I don’t feel it coming back. It didn’t and I had to move on.

    Well done Corinne–you captured the essence of being used well.

    Cheers, Jenn
    Jenn recently posted..Treat the Symptom or Find the CureMy Profile

  8. Wow! You capture the “blame game” perfectly here, Corinne, along with that self-realization that we have allowed what has happened to us to happen in the first place. Brilliant!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Give It Your All!My Profile

  9. It depends as to how and what is our relationship based on?
    No one complain if we accept concept of faith,trust ,sacrifice in any relationship.
    B k Chowla recently posted..TEARSMy Profile

  10. What an end! It sums up the truth stunningly!
    umashankar recently posted..Friends, Enemies, Bloggers!My Profile

  11. Oh dear…isn’t what many of us do ??? Being a willing victim….
    But if the love is reciprocated selflessly, then such thoughts will never arise !!!
    UmaS recently posted..A happy MEMy Profile

  12. Daisy Inthewind
    Twitter:
    says:

    This exact realization has been a major part of my healing process. I had to forgive myself for the things I allowed before I could move on, realizing that those very things were something I thought I needed and asked for at the time. Much like things that attract me to a person are the very things that can aggravate me the most. These are wonderful words from a wonderful woman.
    Daisy Inthewind recently posted..I Screwed Up!My Profile

    • Those of us who’ve been in relationships in which we felt used, will completely identify with this, Daisy. From blaming the other, we begin to blame ourselves. Forgiveness and compassion towards ourselves is the way forward, you’ll agree?

  13. Susan Dusterhoft
    Twitter:
    says:

    Wow! That was truly amazing and I wasn’t expecting it to end that way.

    “You didn’t use me – we just bartered ourselves.”

    I really need to think about this…do we all just barter ourselves. Perhaps we do and not even know it.
    Susan Dusterhoft recently posted..The Writer’s Post Blog Hop #54 – Path to a Successful Career -My Profile

  14. Being used is the worst feeling in the world. Great post Corinne.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
    Kathy recently posted..Focus on This: Shutterbug ChoiceMy Profile

  15. Not a new feeling to me, there have been so many times I have become a victim and also lived blaming persons who I felt used me, I am grateful to God and for some very good people and authors in my life, who have helped me take responsibility.

    Very often, we are so unaware of these things happening in a relationship, because we beautifully cover it up in the name of love, sacrifice etc .. Now when I think about it, I feel terrible but the best part is, today I do not blame and I have learnt to love, accept and forgive myself, and take total responsibility for myself and my life.
    Appreciate you! brilliant post !

    • Yes, Janet – the point is that we realize and opt out of the ‘game’ – that’s what the blessing is for us. No blaming others or having regrets either. We get aware and move on – and allow ourselves and the other person to heal. Thanks for your appreciation. Hope to talk to you soon. ♥

  16. The last quote was so true! Loved the poem too.
    Rachna recently posted..An Evening to Remember!My Profile

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