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Is Predicting Behaviour Bad? #MondayMusings

Past experiences of people almost cutting me off and then suddenly connecting when they want something leave a poor taste in my mouth. By now, when someone connects out of the blue, I’m quite good at predicting why they are doing so.

Is Predicting Behaviour Bad?

A little confused about my predictions which are based on these people’s past behaviour, I wonder if my predictions make me judgemental. (Funny thing about the word judgemental is that it’s come to be a bad word. We often forget that it also means ‘the use of judgement’.) I also wonder if it’s okay not to help, when I know that I’m being used, only to be discarded. This, especially when their problems don’t come under the category of an emergency, a matter of livelihood or life and death.

Hmmm…tough one, no?

I ask myself, “What would happen if I don’t help persons like this?”

At worst, they’ll call me selfish. Do I care? No.

Then I come across this paragraph in Anthony D’Mello’s book ‘Awareness‘.

You can almost predict how this person is going to react. If I study a person, I can tell you just how he or she is going to react. With my therapy group, sometimes I write on a piece of paper that so-and-so is going to start the session and so-and-so will reply.

Do you think that’s bad? Well, don’t listen to people who say to you, “Forget yourself! Go out in love to others”.

Don’t listen to them! They’re all wrong. The worst thing you can do is forget yourself when you go out to others in the so called helping attitude.

For me that’s an affirmation that using my judgement to predict behaviour and not help such people is fine.

And here’s why I like Lucy better than Charlie Brown! πŸ˜‰

lucy make others happy

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It is time for #MondayMusings and all you have to do is:

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Every Monday, another blogger will be co-hosting with me. If you’d like to be that blogger, let me know either in the comments or by using the contact form. I’ll let you know the date and provide you with the code.

Today’s linky can be found here below and my co-host is the inspiring  Chocolate Loving Gal, Ashwini. She’s one of the bravest and sweetest Indian bloggers I know. More about her on my blog soon. πŸ™‚


 

12 Comments

  1. […] what it cost me To give time and again Without speaking my pain. At last I have found That I must stand my ground. No guilt will I feel Should you call me a heel. Self-full I will be And take care of ME. Only then […]

  2. Vishal Bheeroo Vishal Bheeroo July 14, 2015

    There are people like that who will knock on the door when they least need us. But, somehow we get to know when the intention is to use and throw, but yeah, if I can help in a way, not overdo it, while keeping my distance, I may help.

  3. Rajlakshmi Rajlakshmi July 14, 2015

    I guess for our own good we need to be careful and consider past behaviour. Better to be cautious than sorry. Loved the Charlie Brown strip.

  4. Esha M Dutta Esha M Dutta July 13, 2015

    Corinne, not surprised why you feel that way. In fact, with maturity, we begin to see patterns emerge more clearly which leads us to predict behaviour and, in my case, makes me very cynical at times! But, glad to say that I’d rather be cynical than suffer fools or be taken for a ride!
    And, no harm in saying No once in a while if we know that’s the right thing to do! πŸ™‚ Very interesting subject by the way!!!

  5. Darla M Sands Darla M Sands July 13, 2015

    Excellent topic. I despise being used. My partner is a computer expert, as a result of which I’m often angered by the numerous folks we only see when they have a problem and want his help. Interestingly, I mused earlier today over the flip side of this issue. I struggle to ask for assistance, even rightful requests of a loved one in my own home. Then again, that same dear partner asked why I don’t ask for aid but then often lets me down. I suppose not asking is just easier than the disappointment of waiting around for help that never comes. Sorry to ramble. ~grin~ But am I in the minority on this, do you think? Best wishes.

  6. Parul Parul July 13, 2015

    It’s not wrong to predict behavior. Rather, I think it’s a talent to predict it. Those who can do it can survive in this world. So, you should relax Corinne and stop worrying about what others think. πŸ™‚

  7. Ashley Ashley July 13, 2015

    This is interesting because for a very long time I would try never to judge a person’s behavior. Then I got burned one too many times (mainly by the same person) and now I trust my instincts. I am very aware of other people but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It helps me stay focused on me and not in situations I don’t feel comfortable in! Happy Monday!

  8. Debbie D. Debbie D. July 13, 2015

    Getting burned too often makes one cynical. I know the feeling! It’s good when you can recognize those who will take advantage of you.
    Users are everywhere and it’s better to help people who genuinely appreciate it.

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