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When Love Comes

When Love Comes

Dear Sumit

I started writing this as a comment to your recent post – ‘There’s No Such Place As Far Away’*, but I kept writing and realized that this was better off on my blog! When love comes? You’re already wondering what I’m talking about…

So here goes. As always you write so well and from the heart. Strangely I’ve never read any of Richard Bach‘s books except Jonathan Livingston Seagull (a personal favorite of my husband’s). But I’ve always preserved quotes from him. I had this one stuck on the soft board on my bedroom for a long time: You are never given a dream without being given the power to make it come true!

For years I dreamed of finding my soulmate (don’t we all?). In the process of this search I’ve fallen in love many times over, each time thinking, ‘Ah, I’ve found the ONE’ (turned out there was more than one!!!). It was finally at age 41 that I met my soul mate – my husband. ‘Oh Lord,’ I can hear you say, ‘do I have to wait so long?’. Your journey needn’t be as mine and hopefully if you can learn something from my journey, it will make it all the more worthwhile.

Some questions you might ask –
Did I make many mistakes in this journey? YES.
Did I get in to some weird relationships? YES (although they seemed alright at the time).
Do I have regrets about the loving, the losing and the pain? NO.

No regrets, because every time I learned something….and at the end of the journey I learned one truth and that’s what I’d like to share with you. Love does not take long to come to us…it’s we that take a long time to come to Love. What do I mean by that?
I mean that most often we think that we have to ‘find’ Love and start looking for it in other people. The truth is that until we love ourselves and accept ourselves, we’ll never find that Love. To quote Richard Bach: ‘Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost’.

For a long time I ‘loved’ people who didn’t feel the same way about me, were not ready to commit, found me too strong, too fat, too attached to my family……….Why was Love eluding me I wondered. I thought I had a problem – and I did. To quote Bach again: If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. The moment I stopped looking for Love and started focusing on myself and my own happiness, I ‘found’ Love. It was waiting to be found – within me! The irony is when I realised that I didn’t have to depend on someone else to make me happy, I found someone who I was happy to be with and who was happy to be with me.
So Sumit, I hope I haven’t confused you and lectured too much – I didn’t mean to. All I want you to know is to let go and just be who you are – Love will come. Enjoy your relationship with your ‘friend’ and be the best friend you can be to YOU.

~ Corinne

PS: Another of Bach’s quotes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.
Updated:  *Sumit has since deleted his blog 🙁

47 Comments

  1. Bhavya Bhavya May 27, 2013

    I love you all the more for sharing such a positive and inspiring thought. I am aware of all the things you have said, and am trying to live by it, though it does get a bit difficult at times. Negative thoughts run deeper in me than I had initially thought.
    Ever since I have started trying out the Law of Attraction, many things have changed, seems like the clouds do have a silver lining. I am happy that you have found your soul mate and am sure I will too 🙂
    Lots of love,
    Bhavya

  2. G Angela G Angela November 24, 2012

    Corinne ! what do I say……… I have no words, I share some of the feelings with you ! and definitely am glad for the journey you had taken… sure , was meant for a purpose. Love the way you generously share your experiences… thanks for being YOU !

  3. jaishvats jaishvats November 23, 2012

    As someone else also commented that seems to be straight from the heart. Love after all is not that complicated eh? Except when we go about complicating it! 🙂

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues November 23, 2012

      Thanks, Jaish. So true – love is so simple and begins with ME. 🙂

  4. rimly rimly November 23, 2012

    How come I missed this post of yours Corinne? You explained love to Sumit so simply and clearly. I saw myself in you, your experiences in trying to find love and like you I have had no regrets because each time was a lesson. I am beginning to love myself and I hope I will find that someone, not to make me happy but to love me. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues November 23, 2012

      It was written a long time before we connected, Rimly. I pray that you too will find someone who will appreciate the wonderful woman you are, as you start to enjoy being YOU. ♥

  5. colleen colleen November 23, 2012

    This is full of gentle wisdom. It soothes the heart to read your words.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues November 23, 2012

      Thank you, Colleen. It is my journey and I hope others can learn from it – minus all the pain. 🙂

  6. Susan Deborah Susan Deborah November 23, 2012

    I love you for what you are – true, honest and beautiful. I’m happy to be reading this, dear Corinne for my trajectory is vaguely like yours. Thanks for being a lovely fellow companion in the blogging journey.

    Joy always,
    Susan

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues November 23, 2012

      Thank you so much, Susan. I do notice the similarities – I guess we’re always looking within and outside ourselves for ‘answers’. Fellow seeker on the journey – thank you too!

  7. Anamika Anamika November 23, 2012

    Hey I am glad I came here to check this post and feel so inspired, awesome post Corinne, wonderfully written straight from the heart :)!

  8. Rachna Rachna November 23, 2012

    We need more posts like this which are rooted in reality. I am really annoyed with the notion of romance and love that is propagated by unreal movies, books and even ads. Two very important points that you make are Love yourself first. And be practical that life and relationships will have storms. Made for each other, happily ever after, Mr. Perfect etc. in my opinion are all rubbish.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues November 23, 2012

      Romantic love is over hyped as you say, Rachna. It seems that the whole world is in love with ‘love’ and most often it’s of the wrong kind.

  9. UmaS UmaS November 23, 2012

    Love it Corinne 🙂

  10. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues July 23, 2010

    Thanks for your visit Aysel…and for your words..You've got a great blog and a new follower 🙂

  11. Aysel Aysel July 22, 2010

    I seriously got chills from reading your post. You managed to express in such a precise and beautiful way what many of us feel so deep inside, that the feeling becomes hard to catch, and even harder to express by means of words. But the feeling is there."Love does not take long to come to us…it's we that take a long time to come to Love. " – left me speechless.

  12. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues July 3, 2010

    @ UCW – Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

  13. The (un)Common Woman The (un)Common Woman July 3, 2010

    I have no words. Just so beautiful Corrine. 🙂

  14. Gyanban Gyanban January 3, 2010

    Mr.Right or Miss Perfect exist only in the mind…one has to work with what you have,because there are no guarantees in life.

  15. Dagny Taggart Dagny Taggart January 2, 2010

    Corinne, I was passing through and am absolutely delighted to read your post.Beautiful, inspiring, thoughtful and so true, I wish everyone looking for love in this world could read this one!

  16. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues September 29, 2009

    Thank you everyone who took the time to comment. Your comments are so meaningful and encouraging. I'm going to acknowledge each of them personally, so bear with me. Thanks again!

  17. Indy Indy September 22, 2009

    Corinne God bless you for sharing this very important lesson with us! I will endeavor to follow your words! How did I miss this post?! Wrong as this sounds I was probably in delirium during fasting! God bless you and your marriage and wish you all the happiness and love in the world! 🙂

  18. Gautam Gautam September 20, 2009

    It's one of the most wonderful diatribe on love that I have read for a really long time. One of my friends was saying to me that visiting blogs are so depressing with all the stories of broken hearts, I really hope all of them get to read this wonderful post of yours. Hats off to you ma'am! 🙂

  19. The Demigoddess The Demigoddess September 19, 2009

    This really hit home, Corinne. I am hurting over losing someone I really love and wondering if I will ever see him again. This is inspiring and I hope to read back on this post, one day in the future, and tell you that I have found my soulmate.Hugs.

  20. Anonymous Anonymous September 17, 2009

    Co…wonderfully written.It is important that we are comfortable being who we are. I always come accross people looking and searching for happiness either in their spouse, their family everyone else except themselves."Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own loveless ness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it" – D.H LawrenceSapna

  21. I TAKE OFF THE MASK I TAKE OFF THE MASK September 16, 2009

    Your story is inspiring. I'm at the crossroads right now, and I don't want to regret anything. I want to be able to say to myself that I have tried and that I did my best 😉

  22. Aparna Aparna September 16, 2009

    Loved the post, loved the quotes.I am glad you found your love. I also crossed 40 this year and I feel this is a good enough age to fall in love. Whats age but just some numbers. It has nothing to do with what and who you are.Richard Bach was one of my favourite authors. I still read him from time to time for inspirations.

  23. Me Me September 15, 2009

    hey Corinne, Yours and Sumi's blogpost made me write mine on Love :)You have this unconditional capacity to love within you..You are my hero Love ^~^

  24. B B September 14, 2009

    Hi Corinne… Came in from Sumit's blog.. Though that post was meant for Sumit, I am sure many like me must have benefitted and learnt quite a handful from it. I am thankful. Thank you so much 🙂

  25. Zeenat Zeenat September 13, 2009

    Hi Sweet Corrine(i love your name),You have managed to rip out my heart and write this post right form within it! It so breathtakingly beautiful. I too have found my true love late…after one failed abusive marriage, i had lost hope..and then my darling husband came along and Life and Love just happened so beautifully. I would advice everyone to hold on and have patience …..love will happen at just the right time, and when it does it will be a blessing for you.Am in mumbai right now…visiting my mum. I was so so happy to see you at my blog today. A pleasant and lovely surprise. By the by…."if you love someone.." is my all time favorite quote. Lots of loveZeenat:)

  26. Uzma Uzma September 13, 2009

    Hey.Its my first time here and I love this post so much. The lesson is being repeated so many times, find love and happiness within and it will find you on the outside. Lovely getting to read a fellow Indian. Uzma

  27. The Cloudcutter The Cloudcutter September 11, 2009

    Hi Corinne. I've never been a fan of Richard Bach but your post here has made me think… Loving yourself is truly the only thing you can do and everything else just falls into place. Thank you for sharing your experiences so well. It is in the lives of others, that we are sometimes able to look into the mirrors of our own souls.

  28. mommytoalot mommytoalot September 10, 2009

    you sure can write..and btw ..i love that last quote and that bookxo

  29. sm sm September 9, 2009

    interesting post

  30. indianhomemaker indianhomemaker September 9, 2009

    If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. When we are loving we become lovable too…

  31. Choco Choco September 9, 2009

    Oh this was so poignant! Came in here from Sumit's blog. And am glad I did. 🙂

  32. sally sally September 9, 2009

    How true,I started loving myself in my late thirties,it enriched my life and improved relationships all around…I also discovered my till then latent gifts ,like patience,being more giving,more in the moment,and most of all contentment…

  33. John Mellem John Mellem September 9, 2009

    Very nice Corrine. Are you in Byron Center? That's not far from me. I see you are following my blog. I haven't seen you there much. Come on by if you like. You have a lot of followers. How did you get so many? I try to get articles on regularly but it's hard sometimes with my wife having cancer and our 7 children. Even being unemployed, it's hard to find time to write a lot.

  34. A journey called Life A journey called Life September 9, 2009

    what a lovely post Corinne.. on somedays one comes across such powerful pieces of writing like this, that it touches the heart in more ways than one.. im so glad i took to blogging and more importantly blog hopping, else i would not have ever got a chance to read such lovely accounts.. god bless u Corinne..

  35. Rashmi Rashmi September 9, 2009

    Stand up and bow :)I cannot tell you definately not in words, how much i could relate with this post of your's. I am touched, shocked but with a great enriching feeling inside of me that i could also experience such a thing at such an early age, but again like you've said age or anything else, is just secondary how you feel and what you do to feel that way can be achieved anytime, anywhere.I am in love, and i wasn't looking for it this time, i guess instead of me finding it, love chose to find me :)Its blissful here, i hope it stays that way.Love you loads dear Corinne, you somehow always speak what i feel. It feels great to have you as a friend.HugsRashmi.

  36. Dazediva Dazediva September 9, 2009

    Came across your blog via Sumit's blog … very nice post and wonderfully written .. can completely relate to it .. and you have worded it quite perfectly !

  37. Sumit Sumit September 8, 2009

    Corinne, you're wonderful, oh so wonderful! :)I read your post three times, and still couldn't get enough of it. No, you've not lectured me or confused me, but rather shown me that I was looking at the clouds and missing the silver lining.Thanks! 🙂

  38. Jackie Jackie September 8, 2009

    I don't know to whom you were writing (I didn't click on the link)…but I know that you can write!! Oustandingly written….from the heart…and word for word: true!

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