When Love Comes
I started writing this as a comment to your recent post – ‘There’s No Such Place As Far Away’*, but I kept writing and realized that this was better off on my blog! When love comes? You’re already wondering what I’m talking about…
So here goes. As always you write so well and from the heart. Strangely I’ve never read any of Richard Bach‘s books except Jonathan Livingston Seagull (a personal favorite of my husband’s). But I’ve always preserved quotes from him. I had this one stuck on the soft board on my bedroom for a long time: You are never given a dream without being given the power to make it come true!
For years I dreamed of finding my soulmate (don’t we all?). In the process of this search I’ve fallen in love many times over, each time thinking, ‘Ah, I’ve found the ONE’ (turned out there was more than one!!!). It was finally at age 41 that I met my soul mate – my husband. ‘Oh Lord,’ I can hear you say, ‘do I have to wait so long?’. Your journey needn’t be as mine and hopefully if you can learn something from my journey, it will make it all the more worthwhile.
Some questions you might ask –
Did I make many mistakes in this journey? YES.
Did I get in to some weird relationships? YES (although they seemed alright at the time).
Do I have regrets about the loving, the losing and the pain? NO.
No regrets, because every time I learned something….and at the end of the journey I learned one truth and that’s what I’d like to share with you. Love does not take long to come to us…it’s we that take a long time to come to Love. What do I mean by that?
I mean that most often we think that we have to ‘find’ Love and start looking for it in other people. The truth is that until we love ourselves and accept ourselves, we’ll never find that Love. To quote Richard Bach: ‘Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost’.
For a long time I ‘loved’ people who didn’t feel the same way about me, were not ready to commit, found me too strong, too fat, too attached to my family……….Why was Love eluding me I wondered. I thought I had a problem – and I did. To quote Bach again: If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. The moment I stopped looking for Love and started focusing on myself and my own happiness, I ‘found’ Love. It was waiting to be found – within me! The irony is when I realised that I didn’t have to depend on someone else to make me happy, I found someone who I was happy to be with and who was happy to be with me.
So Sumit, I hope I haven’t confused you and lectured too much – I didn’t mean to. All I want you to know is to let go and just be who you are – Love will come. Enjoy your relationship with your ‘friend’ and be the best friend you can be to YOU.
PS: Another of Bach’s quotes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.
Updated: *Sumit has since deleted his blog 🙁