The One That Got Away? #FridayReflections

The One That Got Away? #FridayReflections

“Then I wondered if everybody has that person that haunts them, the one that got away.”
― Marlon James, A Brief History of Seven Killings

With last week’s #FridayReflections talking about ‘fish out of water‘ and this week’s ‘the one that got away’, you must find something fishy going on with our reflections. Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder what my co-host, Sanch is up to with these prompts. Sanchie?

The One That Got Away

Do you often think of the one that got away? An old love, an old friend, a job opportunity. Or opportunities that you had to make that perfect retort -to tell someone what you really thought of their behaviour. ….. Things you look back at with a ‘What if?’

When I look back on several love interests that I have, I smile and tell myself, they’re not the ones who got away, it’s me that got away – hurt and wounded, but still free! 😉

I’ve made peace with all the friends that have got away – with some, I have perhaps acted in haste, with others I should have let go sooner.

There are a few moments when I think back on missed opportunities. But overall, I’m happy and grateful to be where I am at this moment – loved and secure and using my skills gainfully. Most of all, I’ve found that I have the strength to walk away from drama and situations in which people don’t respect me.

When I find myself walking down the path of regrets or wallowing in things that coulda, shoulda, woulda been, I remind myself that I can choose to be free of this.

Here’s  a story from Anthony D’Mello, that perfectly demonstrates how we can be free and enlightened.

There’s a story about Ramirez. He is old and living up there in his castle on a hill. He looks out the window (he’s in bed and paralyzed) and he sees his enemy. Old as he is, leaning on a cane, his enemy is climbing up the hill — slowly, painfully. It takes him about two and a half hours to get up the hill. There’s nothing Ramirez can do because the servants have the day off. So his enemy opens the door, comes straight to the bedroom, puts his hand inside his cloak, and pulls out a gun.

He says, “At last, Ramirez, we’re going to settle scores!” Ramirez tries his level best to talk him out of it.

He says, “Come on, Borgia, you can’t do that. You know I’m no longer the man who ill-treated you as that youngster years ago, and you’re no longer that youngster. Come off it!”

“Oh no,” says his enemy, ”your sweet words aren’t going to deter me from this divine mission of mine. It’s revenge I want and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

And Ramirez says, “But there is!”

“What?” asks his enemy.

“I can wake up,” says Ramirez.

And he did; he woke up!

That’s what enlightenment is like. When someone tells you, “There is nothing you can do about it,” you say, “There is, I can wake up!” All of a sudden, life is no longer the nightmare that it has seemed. Wake up!

Let’s all wake up and let go of that elusive one that got away!

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Sanchie Vee from Living My Imperfect Life and yours truly give you one writing prompt a week to blog about and link to every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked in too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

The prompt for the week is this quote :

“Then I wondered if everybody has that person that haunts them, the one that got away.”
― Marlon James, A Brief History of Seven Killings

Everyday Gyaan

You can link up your posts below. Don’t forget to share the love!


A Fish Out Of Water #FridayReflections

A Fish Out Of Water #FridayReflections

Today’s prompt a fish out of water:someone who is uncomfortable in a particular situation

Feeling like a fish out of water surely isn’t a nice feeling. But don’t you think there are times when we have to push ourselves out of the water – and consciously experience that feeling? Pushing yourself out of the water, the water of your comfort zone, is going to make you uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s a good thing to do.

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try — Seth Godin

A Fish Out Of Water : Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

I’ve stepped out of the water several times and as scary as it has been, I’ve always learnt a lot. I’ve learnt about my own strengths and weaknesses. I’ve had some great experiences with new people and new places. I’ve met some horrible people and had some sad experiences. But at the end of the day, I can look back and say, ‘I’m glad I stepped out of the water!’.

If you don’t you’re going to be like that old dog that a traveller spotted sitting next to the old farmer who kept rocking away while the dog howled in pain. The traveller couldn’t help asking what the dog was crying about, “Sir, why is your dog howling so much?”.
The farmer said, “He’s lying on a nail.”
“So why doesn’t he get up?”
“It doesn’t hurt him bad enough to get up. It’s just enough for him to moan and groan.”

I’ve heard loads of people moaning and groaning about the situations they are in – low-paying jobs, not getting the recognition they deserve, bad relationships…. an endless litany of woes. You ask them why they don’t quit and they talk about security, ‘the known devil’ and a host of other crap reasons for not getting out.

Here’s a poem by an unknown writer about the comfort zone.

The Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn‘t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile; Success is there for you!

The comfort zone is the great enemy to creativity; moving beyond it necessitates intuition, which in turn configures new perspectives and conquers fears. – Dan Stevens

I invite you to read Michael Hyatt’s post : Why frequent trips outside your comfort zone are so important.

 

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Sanchie Vee from Living My Imperfect Life and yours truly give you one writing prompt a week to blog about and link to every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked in too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

 

You can link up your posts below. Don’t forget to share the love!

We look forward to reading your posts. Please attempt to visit and comment on all the posts linked here.


How We Got Lucky #FridayReflections

How We Got Lucky #FridayReflections

I’ve been meaning to write about how we got Lucky for ages now. Today’s prompt nudged me to publish this.

How We Got Lucky

First sightings

One November evening, I set out to take Pablo for a walk. As I was leaving,  José warned me to avoid a particular area of our housing colony, because Pablo had been ‘accosted’ earlier that day by a little puppy, that we estimated was about two months old. Now I love puppies and didn’t heed his warning. So as we approached this area, one little ball of fur came darting out at Pablo. And naturally he lunged for it. But this little one ran off, then came back again, teasing him, since he was on leash. While it was funny to watch, it wasn’t fun trying to control a big, mad boxer!

A few evenings later, we found her wandering around again, darting around and were worried that she’d (we didn’t know her gender – another part of the story) get run over. We realised that this little stray kept wandering into the colony and the watchman was taking care of her. We’d find her playing all by herself, until she saw one of the dogs in the colony being taken for a walk! We saw several children playing with her too.

Lucky to get her back

I decided to take pictures of her and ask around social media if anyone would like to adopt her. When I went to take a picture (the featured image here), she came right up to me, yapping away and wagging her tail. But sat and posed when I told her to! That’s when I really fell in love with her.

I knew my Mum had been wanting a dog for ages and this tough little thing seemed just the one for her. However, given my parents age we were not sure how this would work out. I discussed it with my father and we agreed that they would keep her. We were pretty clear that we didn’t want a second dog, so I would look for someone to adopt her, if things didn’t work out for my parents.

But when we went to bring her to my parents, she was missing. We realized that one of the dog owners had complained about her and the watchman gave her away to a young boy who worked in the colony. I was suspicious of whether the boy was instructed to dump the dog and asked him to bring her back. We sent Dad’s driver with him and brought her back. Thank God we did – she came back scared and screaming in pain! I think some kids had attacked her and her back was hurt. An immediate visit to the vet was undertaken and she took up residence in my parents home.  José  and I would visit her regularly and made sure she got her shots.

I wanted her to be named Lucky , because of a Hallmark movie I had watched about an adopted dog called Lucky, but my parents had other ideas.

But her stay with my parents didn’t last long!

We discovered that ‘he’ was a ‘she’ and my parents were not comfortable keeping a female pup. The clincher was when my brother, who had been away when we got her, realized that his plans to keep his dog with my parents for a couple of weeks wouldn’t work out. His dog, at the time, was not comfortable with other dogs. When my Mom started threatening to give her back to the same young boy (crazy, but true), we decided to bring her to our place and keep her until we found a home for her.

1st December 2015 is when we (and she) got Lucky!

We were a little skeptical about how Pablo would take to her, but she charmed (and bullied) her way into his heart like she did ours. He would drag her by her leash and she would fall asleep cuddled up with him.

we-got-lucky-1

All my attempts to get her adopted came to naught. My brother offered to take her to his farm but we decided to send her there after the winter was over. But by the time the winter was over, I was not ready to let her go. We agreed to keep her and so happy that we did.

I can hardly believe that she’s been with us for a year and a half. She continues to be the baby of the family and get away with all kinds of mischief. If there ever was a quote that fits our girl it would be this one.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

 

we-got-lucky

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Sanchie Vee from Living My Imperfect Life and yours truly give you one writing prompt a week to blog about and link to every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked in too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

The prompt for 7th July 2017 is Lucky

You can link up your posts below. Don’t forget to share the love!

We look forward to reading your posts. Please attempt to visit and comment on all the posts linked here.


Saying A Big YES To The Adventure Of My Life

Saying A Big YES To The Adventure Of My Life

How can I live a big YES to the adventure of my life? That’s a question I came across recently on Gratefulness.org. And I had to ask a counter question. What is the adventure of my life? Would you laugh if I told you that it was ‘living authentically‘?

Remember that story of the little boy who called out that the emperor was not wearing any clothes, when the rest of the crowd pretended that he was wearing the finest robes? What made that boy say that? Simple. He stated the truth. I’m not sure what happened to the boy after that, but he must have been the envy of a lot of adults! What freedom to state what was the truth!

When I think about what kept the adults from the truth, I realize that it was fear. Fear of being punished. Fear of going against the popular voice. Fear of standing out.

Saying A Big YES To The Adventure Of My Life Means That I Sign on to Being 100% Authentic

Living authentically takes guts. It takes time. It’s not easy to call time on bullshit, even your own! 

To me, authentic living means (in no particular order)

  1. following your inner compass even when it seems to point you in completely another direction from people in your life.
  2. learning to accept that you’ve made mistakes and owning up to them.
  3. not glossing over situations in your life or painting a picture of it all being rosy
  4. taking ownership for relationships and situations in your life and knowing when to walk away from them
  5. not playing by the rules set by other people
  6. valuing and respecting yourself
  7.   saying what you need to say
  8. being grateful for every situation and person, knowing that life lessons come to us in various ways
  9. being more mindful of your own behaviour
  10. constantly questioning and seeking the truth.

 

Are you saying a big yes to the adventure of your life?

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

 
 
Everyday Gyaan
 

Prompts for 2nd June 2017 are:

  1. Write about doing something you don’t want to do
  2. Write about putting together the pieces of a puzzle
  3. Tea or coffee? Pick your vice
  4. “So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” – E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration for one
  5. Picture prompt (credit: Living my Imperfect Life)

fridayreflections 2jun2017


Living My Dream #FridayReflections

Living My Dream #FridayReflections

I have the most vivid dreams and what’s more I tend to remember them for at least 2 – 3 hours after I wake up. My husband finds them very entertaining and urges me to write them down. I haven’t really tried that yet. One of my recent dreams involved me running a book store and this brought to mind this post I had written a very long while ago. I’m republishing it today.

I am living my dream.

For as long as I can remember, my dream consisted of Words.
Collecting them.
Reading them.
Writing them.
Speaking them.
And why, yes, even selling them.
I dreamt of owning my own book store.
I dreamt of having countless books to read.
I dreamt of speaking before large audiences.
I dreamt of writing and publishing my words.
I don’t own the book store.
But all the other dreams around Words have come true.
Words have come to be a part of my reality today.

I am living my dream.

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

 
 
Everyday Gyaan
 

1. Are you messy or neat? What about your family/people you share your house with? Does it work well?
2.Write something inspired by a recent dream you had
3. Write about the sounds of silence
4. “If happiness is the goal – and it should be, then adventures should be top priority.” – Richard Branson. Use this quote to inspire your post or within it
5. Picture prompt (via Everyday Gyaan)

FridayReflections19May17


Our Guest House   #FridayReflections #RumiInspired

Our Guest House #FridayReflections #RumiInspired

I wrote ‘Our Guest House’ sometime in October 2009. Today’s #FridayReflections prompt sparked off the memory and I decided to share it with you.

Our Guest House

Here’s a look at our lives in 2009.

In August, José started a fever that turned out to be cerebral malaria (Plasmodium falciparum). Having had an uncle in a coma a few years back with this same illness, I was scared. I’m still not used to Mumbai and the thought of hospitalizing José and running back and forth on my own, plus taking care of Pablo was a bit too much. I asked my brother, Marc, to come down from Hyderabad to help. He came and although José didn’t need hospitalization, Marc was big help and having him around made things so much easier for us. Constant calls with advice from the two medical professionals in our family – Ann, our sister-in-law and Maria, our cousin – were most helpful too.

With José almost recovered, Pablo decided in September to chase a wasp! Half an hour later, he just keeled over and seemed to be having a heart attack – he went blue and stopped breathing. I thought we had lost him, but his eyes kept moving. We rushed him to the vet and while we were there realized that it was an allergic reaction to the wasp bite. Poor fellow was out of sorts for a few days and I kept having recalls of the incident…..scary!

Life seemed to settle in to a routine for the rest of September. I started a yoga class, which I really enjoy. I started travelling on my own to town (quite an achievement for me in this city!) and enjoying the use of the British Library.

However, early on 3rd October morning we got the very sad news of my cousin’s tragic death. She was only 38 years old and in the prime of life and her business career. The family was devastated and it was only natural that I go to Hyderabad to be there for her funeral.

While in Hyderabad, I started a fever – but was determined to come back to Mumbai for José’s birthday and because he had plans to go to Igatpuri for a Vipassana weekend. He had planned this for a couple of months. I came back alright, but the fact that my fever turned out to be malaria (Plasmodium Vivax) put paid to all his plans!

Now if you think this is a tale of woes – it’s not meant to be so at all. In fact, through all these times and experiences, I’ve never been more conscious of God’s loving presence in our lives. The overriding feeling in me has been one of gratitude – for the life we have, our relationship, our family, the many people who make our life easier – doctors, vets, our maid, our dhobi, delivery men from medical stores and our friendly neighborhood grocer…….the list is endless.

I’m grateful too for all I’ve learnt during these months – patience, humility, trust, faith and just going with the flow. The words of this poem of Jalalud-Din Rumi’s ring so true for us :

 
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whomever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 
So we’re treating each ‘guest’ honorably and being grateful for every experience, sure in the knowledge, that each has been sent to teach us something about ourselves, about love, about faith and about life.

“Adventure isn’t hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles in life.” – John Amatt.

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

 
 
Everyday Gyaan
 

Don’t forget to come back on Monday and vote for your favorite post!

Prompts for 12th May 2017:

1. Write a letter to your future self – 10, 15 or 20 years from now
2. Share a book review
3. Show us your handwriting
4. “Adventure isn’t hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles in life.” – John Amatt. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration for one
5. Picture Prompt (credit: Parul Kashyap Thakur from Happinessandfood)

our guest house

Take An Awe Walk #FridayReflections

Take An Awe Walk #FridayReflections

Awesome! A word we use so casually that it seems to have lost its original meaning and power. Remember what ‘awe’ means? A feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder. Sometimes we’re so caught up with our lives that we forget to feel awe – to stop and marvel at life. Today, I’m inviting you to take an awe walk.

A heightened state of awareness comes when we look, and then look again, and then relax into whatever situation we are in. When we have a capacity for fascination with simple things, we are able to sit peacefully for hours on a park bench, or in an airport, engrossed by the different gaits and gestures of people as they walk, talk, and stand. We develop the ability to be patient as we stand in line at the grocery store because we have the ability to look with fascination and wonder at all that surrounds us. -Charlotte Davis Kasl

take an awe walk

Take An Awe Walk – find out more here: http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/awe_walk#data-tab-how

Could your life be more awesome? Find out by taking the Awe Quiz on Berkley’s Greater Good in Action website.

Here are some samples of my awe pictures:

#FridayReflections

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away. Sanch of Living My Imperfect Life and Everyday Gyaan give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Everyday Gyaan

Don’t forget to come back on Monday and vote for your favorite post!

Prompts for 5 May 2017

1. Thing you most wish you were great at
2. Imagine you had to parent yourself as a child. What would it be like? Get as creative as you can!
3. Cheating partners – forgive or flick away?
4. “You must go on adventures to find out where you truly belong.” – Sue Fitzmaurice. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration for one
5. Picture Prompt (credit: Living my Imperfect Life)

friday reflections 5 May 2017


A Need To Win ?  #FridayReflections

A Need To Win ? #FridayReflections

I’m not someone with a need to win. I’ve written about my non-competitive outlook before. Now, I’m not saying that this is necessarily a good thing. No, there are certain areas in my life that I should work on more and be more pushy about.

But today’s post is really not about me.

It’s about people who want to win at any cost.

There’s this guy I know who has such a need to win that he doesn’t mind stamping over everyone that gets in the way of what he wants. So old people, young people (even harmless puppies) are thrown by the wayside (not literally, but almost) while he pursues what he wants, even if it’s something petty. There’s a Latin phrase that describes such behaviour. It goes Inter arma enim silent legēs  which is popularly rendered as “in times of war, the law falls silent.

Pretty hard to relate to someone like that. You never know when you’ll be thrown under the bus.

Then there’s this woman. A brownie point scorer extraordinaire. At first, I thought she didn’t realize what she was doing. But then I began to see that this was such a part of her nature, so though not necessarily deliberate, her actions were harmful all the same.

Sample this. She brings an aged couple to a party. Four hours later, the couple looks all set to go home. You offer to drop them home, but Ms Brownie Point, insists she brought them, so she’ll take them back. You later find out that they had to find their way home on their own because Brownie and her husband (incidentally, the guy I described before) decided to stay on late.  Who were the winners in this case? I have no clue.

Together this seemingly charming couple, can be rude, mean and selfish without even realizing it. Whatever they buy is supposedly the best. Any decision they make is unparalleled in wisdom. And best of all, they’re never wrong, just misguided (by some poor soul now thrown under the bus!).

I could go on. But I’ll stop here to share this with you and hope that you’ll share your thoughts with me.

When an archer is shooting for nothing he has all his skill. If he shoots for a brass buckle he is already nervous. If he shoots for a prize of gold he goes blind or sees two targets— he is out of his mind!

His skill has not changed. But the prize divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting— and the need to win drains him of power.

~Thomas Merton, The Way of Chuang Tzu

#FridayReflections

It’s Friday today and although Sanchie Vee and I had decided to take a break from #FridayReflections through April, I decided to it slightly differently. I’m putting up a linky – and asking you to write on any of the older prompts that you may have liked and missed. I’ll have the same linky up all month through, just on fresh posts. Also, I’m asking for a link back to my blog in your post to prevent people who are writing ‘off prompt’ from adding their links.

If you want to know more about #FridayReflections and find prompts to write on, I’ve created a page with the ‘rules’ and the prompts. So go ahead and have a ball. Remember, to link up here so we can all enjoy your writing.

This post is in response to the prompt from 2 December 2016:  Write about something or someone you can’t get over.

Also linking into Finish The Sentence Friday.


Image of ‘successful’ man via Shutterstock