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Accepting My Shadows

accepting-my-shadows

Accepting My Shadows

There are days, like today, that I get up feeling heavy – worry, fear and a feeling of discontent. They are few and far between, thankfully. Strangely, I’m thankful for days like this because they are good reminders of the dark places within me. Days like this tell me of my fears, my insecurities, my anger, my jealousy. Most of all they tell me how much more I need to grow in faith, inner peace and love.

I think it’s so important that I look at the dark parts of myself and accept that they exist. They’re not pretty, but they’re a part of me and I’d best not pretend they don’t exist. If I don’t accept my ‘shadows’ I’m in effect saying that some parts of me are not me! In other words, I’m not loving all of me.

As I welcome my painful self, it heals. Loving myself provides the power for transformation.
~ John Ruskan

 

“Welcome the small cracking of your hard-clodded shell,
Embrace the warm sting of tears,
Kiss the shadow which frightens you awake as you turn the corners of your day,
Love the whole of everything,
Smooth sunshine skies and
Jagged edges
Which all seek us out in
Constant whisper and touch
To say, ‘hello, Beautiful. You’re alive”
Jacob Nordby

Accepting my shadows is part of the process of loving and healing myself.

 

41 Comments

  1. Pratibha Pratibha August 17, 2013

    ” Days like this tell me of my fears, my insecurities, my anger, my jealousy. Most of all they tell me how much more I need to grow in faith, inner peace and love.

    I think it’s so important that I look at the dark parts of myself and accept that they exist. They’re not pretty, but they’re a part of me and I’d best not pretend they don’t exist. ”

    – I relate to these lines! It is so important to accept those feelings and move ahead in life.

  2. Leo Leo August 10, 2013

    Maybe such days also are useful to show us that there would be better days ahead… after the darkness comes the light 🙂

  3. Melissa Melissa August 10, 2013

    I think I’ve been given the challenge more than once to look at my whole self ~ to allow all the noises inside to come to the surface…

    I think it’s fear that the shadows will be made known by other people (my confessor would often tell me that the devil is fond of secrecy) ~ shame and acceptance after revelation of the truth comes next…

    Isn’t it our challenge for this year BS ~ to love ourselves a bit more? I am glad that you are on your way to healing ~ lots of love to you and thank you for making me a part of your journey.

  4. Rum Punch Drunk Rum Punch Drunk August 10, 2013

    Your shadow is a reflection of yourself, so we’ve got to learn to deal with it. We all have dark sides, mood swings, bad moments but although it is part of life, we must recognise it and try to deal with it in a positive way (though it’s not always possible).

    I truly loved the photo you used, it said so many different things to me and is ideal for this post. Great post.

  5. Anuradha Anuradha August 10, 2013

    Ah, i could never figure out what to call these days… You have put it so appropriately! And they lead to introspection that really helps at times!

  6. Rachna Rachna August 9, 2013

    So true! Look in the mirror and look your failings in the eye. We need acceptance from ourselves — so true!

  7. Roshni Roshni August 9, 2013

    I’m glad to be older and wiser, and finally accepting of all my failings and imperfections! 🙂

  8. Keith Keith August 8, 2013

    Hi CorInne,

    So true!

    We need to explore, face and accept every part of us. We all have a dark side and in it we find the true measure of ourselves. When we honestly acknowledge our darker instincts and desires and live a good life in spite of them, we are fully authentic, rather than living to an ideal based on one side of ourself. Sorry to be nerdy here, but it is all in Star Wars, it’s the Jedi’s journey 🙂

  9. That’s so true, Corinne. I’m reminded of one quote I read from a book: “Self-acceptance and self-knowing are deeply interconnected. To truly know something about yourself, you must accept it. Even things about yourself that you most deeply want to change must first be accepted – even embraced. Self-transformation is always preceded by self-acceptance. And the self that you must accept is the self that you actually and truly are – before you start your self-improvement projects!” -The Gift of Being Yourself, David Benner

    • And this quote also: “We are all lepers. Even if we hide our sores under the finest clothes, and lie to each other, to convince ourselves that we are healthy and happy… Forgetting the only real reason we should be happy: that God loves us, despite the sores we hide. God loves us so much that He became one of us, and was nailed naked to the cross, showing His sores to the world.” -St. Francis (Clare and Francis Film)

  10. Pixie Pixie August 7, 2013

    Yea.. accepting our flaws is so important.
    It takes a brave person to admit their darker side exists along with the good in them.

  11. Richa Singh Richa Singh August 7, 2013

    How often do we find people who can actually accept there is a darker side of them. It must have taken your brave side to write this post. As for the concept behind having a darker side, its like yin yang nothing without the other can exist. And sometimes its the beauty of this contrast which turns out to be life 🙂

  12. Jyothi Nair Jyothi Nair August 7, 2013

    It is so important to understand this! I have had a few of these kind of mornings too. It is sometimes hard to control our negative emotions. But it is important to be positive and happy in life. This will pass too. 🙂

  13. Suzy Suzy August 7, 2013

    I think our inner shadow is also our internal warning / radar system. The thing is to look at what it’s trying to say and then deal with that. I wouldn’t want my shadow to go.

  14. Lazy Pineapple Lazy Pineapple August 7, 2013

    All of us have these days and the fear and jealousy resides in each one of us. Some like you are able to recognize and accept it which in itself is the first step. This first step is quite difficult for many people so I must say you are a strong person.

  15. Pheno Menon Pheno Menon August 7, 2013

    However dark they are they still stand by you whether you see them or not :). I love shadoows and shadow play

    PhenoMenon

  16. I.M. Cortez I.M. Cortez August 6, 2013

    I am on that journey of accepting and loving the dark side of myself, too, Corinne. It’s not at all an easy journey and there are days when I see myself as either all good or all bad. But I’m learning to be more forgiving towards myself. I am doing a series of posts on forgiveness in my blog right now, and I think part of that forgiveness is learning to forgive ourselves. <3 🙂

    ~Irene

  17. privytrifles privytrifles August 6, 2013

    After a long time I have finally accepted myself with all that I am and yes Corinne its a feeling I cannot describe 🙂

  18. My Inner Chick My Inner Chick August 6, 2013

    Light/Darkness
    Sweet/Bitterness
    Shadows/Illumination
    Hope/ Hopelessness
    Sharp/Soft
    Forgiveness/Anger
    Mourning/Moving forward

    I’ve found that I need to incorporate all of these emotions into the “ME” I now am.

    Because this is the only way I get out of bed In the morning/mourning.

    XXx LOVE.

  19. Ruchira Ruchira August 6, 2013

    Accepting our vices is like embracing ourselves in the busy bazaar of life and that is one step closer to nirvana!

    Awesome post, Corrine

  20. B k chowla B k chowla August 6, 2013

    Well,each one has certain moments which leave an impact on one’s life.One just has to be brave and keep one’s chin up

  21. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando August 6, 2013

    Those parts of ourselves are so difficult to embrace, but we must in order to heal and move forward. Admitting that we are far from perfect opens the door for God’s grace to work within us.
    Beautiful reflection, Corinne!

  22. Vidya Sury Vidya Sury August 6, 2013

    You know, Corinne, I call this the “Man In the Mirror” concept. If I can look me in the mirror and smile, all is well. So never mind the inner critic jumping up over the grey hair and wrinkles and stuff…:-) I like to think of my shadow as my friend, always close, always supporting. The main thing with this sort of thing is to vent it out.

    Here’s a big hug to you!

  23. Diana Pinto Diana Pinto August 6, 2013

    We all have our own shadows and we need to identify them. We need to accept our painful self , heal and better ourselves every step.

  24. afshan afshan August 6, 2013

    its everyone’s story . Shadows dont leave us 🙂 but there r some days in life where the shadow might not be visible and some days when it will just be clearly standing there defeating the size of our frame ! good n bad days exist but shadows just show up or hide depending on time

  25. sridevi sridevi August 6, 2013

    This post speaks to me Corrine 🙂

  26. Dr Roshan R Dr Roshan R August 6, 2013

    I totally agree. We need to accept that there is a darker side to us – one filled with self-doubts, jealousy, hatred et al. It makes us human. Its when we fail to recognise that that we are pretending to ourselves.

  27. Bhavya Bhavya August 6, 2013

    I need to keep telling myself this.

  28. Sulekha ( Sulekha ( August 6, 2013

    If we don’t accept our shadows how will others? To see ourselves with critical eyes helps us in correcting or owning up to the dark bits. In my case, I have some gray areas which I like the way they are, they make me who I am 🙂

  29. preetilata preetilata August 6, 2013

    A food for thought. How true it is that we don’t embrace our shadows… our darker sides often. We abandon then when it is impossible to separate us from it.

    This strong post of yours reminded me of the brilliant girl called Shweta Katti.

  30. A Walk in the Woods A Walk in the Woods August 6, 2013

    Corinne, and it’s most difficult to accept shadows and take them in the stride. I usually sleep them out, or watch a movie or read a book – anything to forget that feeling of foreboding. If accessible, I go to a place of prayer and cry my heart out to God.
    🙂

  31. Aditi Aditi August 6, 2013

    The dark spaces within us should indeed be acknowledged and also appreciated. First step towards a new better you is to accept your faults, love yourself despite that and hv the courage enough to change that!
    Thanks for this essential reminder and love the quote!

  32. usha menon usha menon August 6, 2013

    Corinne you are a brave lady. How many people think abut their black moments and feel that they are part of life. We all have such moments in our life. I have taken a great lesson on life from you today

  33. Delia Delia August 6, 2013

    Yes! Every day is a new day with new blessings and new challenges!!! 😉

  34. Vaisakh Vaisakh August 5, 2013

    Words of wisdom, Corinne. It is always good to accept one’s dark part. Turning a blind eye has never helped anyone.

  35. divorceddoodling divorceddoodling August 5, 2013

    How wise you are Corinne – to be able to accept the shadows and give thanks for them. It took me a long time – I would always fret on shadowy days and worry about when I could be bright and chirpy again. Never accepting myself as I am.
    You make a very relevant point.

  36. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 5, 2013

    We’ve got to thank Zemanta for the connection – but I loved your post. 🙂

  37. Kajal Kajal August 5, 2013

    We are all flawed, no one’s perfect! But the fact that we are able to accept who and what we are, gives us a chance to correct what really needs correction. A nice thought!

  38. C. Suresh C. Suresh August 5, 2013

    And to ignore the shadows is also to give up on the possibility of changing that which can be and needs to be changed.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 5, 2013

      True, Suresh. In these times of assertiveness and knowing-it-all, vulnerability is often scorned upon.

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