I used to carry Thomas Merton’s prayer (shared below) around with me at a time when I didn’t know what lay on the road ahead of me. I was just out of college very confused what I wanted to do next. Somehow, this prayer consoled me and helped me centre myself.
The Road Ahead Of Me
As I’ve shared in posts earlier, the road never quite revealed itself to me completely. I tried several careers that I did well in but never felt satisfied.
As I stumbled along with my career, I also got into relationships that ended with me being badly hurt. Thanks to some ‘elders’ giving me misguided information, I was also confused about whether I was called to single life. They thought I was, but I felt differently.
But it was when I was at the end of my tether and about to give up, that I met my husband and also found my calling in writing.
There have been many roadblocks along the way after that too. But at present, I feel much more at peace with myself, centred in my relationship with God and my significant other.
Who knows what the road ahead will bring. But I’m confident that like Thomas Merton, even when I don’t know what lies ahead of me, I will hold on to knowledge that I am not alone. I walk in trust holding the hand of the One who knows what lies ahead.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - Thomas Merton
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Thank you for this one, Cory. Soothing to the soul.
Re-read these lines:
“But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.”
I’ve always loved this prayer and Kate’s prompt of ‘road’ brought it right back to me. I’m glad you liked it, Nats.
I am on the road I feared,
a way of mystery,
but I am here for it appeared
that this road chose me,
or, rather, that God set my feet
on Dolorosa paving stones
so that with every step I’d meet
that which of old had chilled my bones,
but now seems like an honest friend
who strips away the clinging dross
so that bling-laden soul can mend,
no matter what the pain or loss.
How odd it’s cancer that would save
me for the path beyond the grave!
To see your illness as a road to something beautiful truly requires grace! Thank you for the inspiration you are, Andrew.
Wonderful poem by Thomas Merton! I am so grateful that while we may not know the road ahead, our God always goes before us! Encouraging post!
I’m so sad that you have suffered negative advice and relationships, Corinne, but I rejoice with you that “at present, I feel much more at peace with myself, centered in my relationship with God and my” husband. And this is the greatest place to be, “I walk in trust holding the hand of the One who knows what lies ahead.” There’s such a peace in know He holds us in the palm of His hands!
I’m glad to hear that you “found your road” despite the struggles of the past.
Thank you, Annette. Wishing you well.
Great post, Corinne. In some ways, it’s best that we don’t know what’s ahead. I love the poem. It reminds me of Ps 37:3-7 that promises that if we commit our way to Him and our desires, He will do His part and bring us through. I’ve anchored into that many times when I’ve doubted my own heart. Thanks for sharing. Visiting from #3 this week.
Thank you for this honest reflection, Corinne. I certainly identified with much of it. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but some are asking me when I will retire!!
Something you said made me think of another clever quote that I don’t remember exactly, but along the lines of ‘When we come to the end of ourselves, we find the way to God’. I think it is what I am learning – that if I stop striving He can lead me.
Blessings to you in your walk with God, your writing and relationships.