I remember learning a song when I was a kid. It went something like this -‘When I point my finger at my neighbour, there are three more pointing back at me. I searched all over for the lyrics and was happy to find them. For your singing pleasure, they’re at the bottom of this post!*

Why was I looking for this song? I thought of it because of something that happened to me recently.

I was involved in a project and found that one of the key persons though very well qualified and accomplished was terribly insecure about my involvement. I sensed that he couldn’t wait for me to disappear from the scene. In fact, his behaviour went against common courtesy towards the end of the meeting. I was somewhat taken aback, because I had been invited by his colleagues, had kept him in the loop about my participation and was very polite to him. My first reaction to his behaviour was one of anger and hurt, although I kept quiet. As I analysed his behaviour, I realized that he saw me as a threat. I was surprised at his insecurity.

It was easy for me to label his behaviour. Easy to find fault with him. Easy to say, ‘That’s his problem, not mine’ and move on. Which is what I did.

However, as I wrote my Morning Pages a few days later, I had a moment of self-conviction. I realised that I had acted in a similar fashion with someone else. Only it was online. I felt threatened by someone. I found occasion to paint her in a poor light. Finally, I totally cut her out of my circle.

This happened almost a year ago.

Not so easy to label my behaviour. Not so easy to find fault with me. Harder to say I have a problem. Still harder to apologise. I’m working on that.

when you point your finger

Do you find yourself in a similar situation sometimes?

 

#MondayMusings is an invitation to share your thoughts – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. It was started on Write Tribe and I will be doing a #MondayMusings post here or on Write Tribe every Monday, effective today.

Today I’m happy to be co-hosting this with the lovely Parul Kashyap Thakur of Happiness and Food.

Join us by writing a #MondayMusings post on your blog. Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and then add your link here. Visit the other blogs linked here.

#MondayMusings

 

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*You can sing along with the song here.

Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
There are three more pointing back at me;
The little one says, “You’re not so hot,
If you blame the other fellow then you’re on the spot!”
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
It just ain’t honesty,
‘Cos in my heart I feel that I first must deal
With the three that are pointing at me.
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
There are three more pointing back at me;
The second one says, “Go easy, mate!
You ain’t cleaned the rubbish from your own back gate!”
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
It just ain’t honesty,
‘Cos I realise I must first get wise
To the three that are pointing at me.
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
There are three more pointing back at me;
The third one says, “Supposing you
Had to run the country, what would you do?
Oh would you point your finger at your neighbour?
Where would this nation be?”
Well I couldn’t wait so I soon got straight
With the three that are pointing at me.
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
There are three more pointing back at me
They seem to say, “See here my lad,
Maybe you are just about three times as bad!”
Oh when I point my finger at my neighbour
It just ain’t honesty,
‘Cos in my heart I feel that I first must deal
With the–“What’ll I do?” “What’ll I do?”
What are we going to be doing about the
One, two, three that are pointing back at me?