I wish I would learn to refrain from telling people who are close to me what I think of them. When someone tells me that they’ve decided on a particular course of action, I sometimes feel it is my duty to tell what I think of it.
Many times, I’ve found myself telling a friend or a family-member the choice they’re making is not good. Most often though, that doesn’t stop them. That’s when I recall the words of Professor Godbole in E M Forster’s, A Passage to India: ‘One cannot tell anyone anything unless they’re ready to hear it.’
May you be inspired – every day!
PS: This is a scheduled post. I will respond to comments when I’m back online – 9 June 2012. Thank you.
Discover more from Everyday Gyaan
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Me too:) I guess the only worst thing is telling people what they should do instead. Oh, I think I do that too!
@Vishnu’s Virtues Oh I’m learning not to, Vishnu! 😉
@Vishnu’s Virtues I’m learning not to do that, Vishnu. It’s hard being so wise, isn’t it? 😉
What you have said is true…but, maybe they want to follow their heart.
@Janaki Nagaraj Perhaps 🙂
I am just the opposite. I never tell them and then they feel I dont care enough
@RituLalit We can’t please them either way, can we, Ritu? 😉
I rarely give unsolicited advice because I know people won’t listen. Not that I don’t have plenty of unsolicited opinions. But I know that I haven’t listened to advice much in my own life. So I refrain from giving it.
@Myrna Exactly what I’ve realized, Myrna – since I don’t take it myself, I should stop dishing it out!
This reminds me of a Buddhist saying – “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. Yes, we can give all the well-intentioned advice in the world, but unless someone is prepared to hear it, it falls on deaf ears.
Blessings, Corinne!
@marthaorlando Yes, while our intentions are good, I’m beginning to think it’s not the best thing to do – after all who made us in charge of dishing out advice, don’t you think, Martha? It’s much harder to watch someone we love make mistakes, but then that’s their life and we must allow them the freedom to be.
I somehow feel I needed this today. Today I did another futile attempt of trying to convince someone to do something good for their life only to be back lashed again and feel hurt. But reading this makes me feel better. You are right ‘ One cannot tell anyone anything unless they’re ready to hear it.’
@privytrifles I think, I’m learning to let go, PT. There are times I’m not ready to hear the truth too – so I realize that I should just wish people well, listen to them and not give advice.
That’s when people call an advice unsolicited 😛 Yes, I do believe not everybody’s prepared to listen to what others have to say. But when I know that a person cares for me deep enough, even if I’m not ready to hear it, I’ll welcome it.
@MelissaTandoc That’s so true, Melissa. Love makes all the difference.
Your mention of a Passage to India took me back to the University days. It was a painful book to study but a good quote from Prof Godbole.
I had a good laugh about it being a painful book to study, @SuzyIla – I’m wondering why. Did you watch the movie?
@CorinneRodrigues Too many sub plots, something about Adela Quested that irritated us, and too much detail like pages of description of a single arch or doorway or something like that – probably okay to just read but to study – painful. Yep saw the movie too.
@SuzyIla Ah! I see the difference between reading it and studying it, Suzy. Adela is a strange character no doubt – very likable at some levels but very ‘slapable’ at other times! 😉