In October, I’ve chosen openness as something I really want to focus on. Let me tell you why that is.
As a child, I was open to the world, full of wonder and curiosity. I trusted easily, let people in without hesitation, and embraced new experiences. In recent times, I’ve often closed off to the world and people around me. It’s self-defense, a protective instinct that emerges when you’ve been hurt, disappointed and taken for granted repeatedly.
But as I began healing last year, I’ve realized that these defences caused me to miss out. I feel like I’ve been sitting on the sidelines of life, observing but not fully taking part. All the richness of connection, the beauty of being fully present, and the growth that comes from trying new things – I seem to have lost it all.
Being open, I’ve realized, is not the same as being unguarded. It’s about being willing to engage with life, with all its uncertainty, and trusting that even in the difficult moments, there is beauty to be found. It’s about showing up fully, with no need to hide parts of yourself or control the outcome. In that openness, there’s a sense of freedom, a lightness that allows life to flow through you.
So, I’ve slowly begun learning to be open again. It’s not a simple path, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Childlike openness is something that I want to cultivate.
As I continue to learn this, I feel like I’m reconnecting with that curious, trusting part of myself that I thought I had lost.
Inspiration and Trust – More In October
In my last post, I mentioned that I’ll be expanding on my two of my four words from September – inspiration and trust.
Although I’ve been reading their work for a while, I’ve rediscovered Beth Kempton and Emily P Freeman. I’ve invested in their most recent books and Substack memberships of both these women who I consider my current mentors. With their writing and podcasts and great resources, I’ve been inspired to go deeper into myself and define what my priorities are.
Reading Beth Kempton’s new book – Kokoro – and doing the deep journaling exercises it contains, I’ve been inspired more and more to trust my heart in the decisions I make. You’ll be seeing a lot more posts about Kokoro from me soon.
Keep your hands open, and all the sands of the desert can pass through them. Close them, and all you can feel is a bit of grit.
~Taisen Deshimaru
I’m keeping my mind and heart open in October. What will you be focusing on?
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Though I am open to new experiences and I do generally go through life with a sense of childish wonder, a part of myself hides away from the world. I always feel that if I show people my real self, they will judge me as being too naive and childish. So I generally sit on the sidelines and listen, but never really participate a 100% . Iam working on accepting that it is pefectly okay to be childlike and live a life where I percieve things as something to be wondered at, rather than take a cynical view of the world. It has taken me a long time to realise that I actually like myself as I am.I do not want to be cynical and jaded. I want to enjoy splashing in puddles and cuddling puppies on the road side and licking off drops of melting icream from a cone.
What I love about you, Sunita, is that you are so authentic and comfortable being you! And yes, I think we all need to nurture the childlike qualities in ourselves. Life is too short to be grownups, na? 😉 ♥
Openness can be difficult, especially as we become older. I feel like I do have a sense of childlike wonder, with a very strong no BS filter. At the same time, I also keep parts of myself hidden away, because I don’t feel like they will be understood, or because there are some parts of myself that I simply don’t want to share except with a handful of people. I’m reading Kokoro too – taking my time with it and making sure not to skip the journaling. It’s a beautiful book!
You nailed it, Shinjini! I feel like I’m getting more childlike but less tolerant of BS!
Glad you’re enjoying Kokoro. The journaling has been eye opening for me.
This post feels like it was written for me, Corinne. I relate to the curious child who later closed off and became a sideline as life went on. Partly to protect myself, and partly as I accumulated years as a mother and wife, I unknowingly made myself a lesser priority, leading to this sense of closing off.
Now that I’ve realized it, I try to correct myself whenever I notice this behavior. But it’s a lot of work.
Your post really spoke to me. Bookmarking this one for future reminders.
Thank you, Corinne.
Sorry I got so late in responding to your lovely comment, Vini.
I totally understand how we become so protective of ourselves and of our significant others that we close ourselves off to new things and worse still pursuing our dreams in new ways!
Do you know that I’ve been longing to get a tattoo? Don’t ask me why, but it’s something I want to do. But so many ‘what-ifs’ regarding safety and more stuff about societal norms keep me from doing. I’m promising myself that I’ll shake this off and get it done before I’m 60! 😛