As regular readers of this blog might remember, my Word of the Year for 2020 is ‘Metta’. A word I took to mean loving-kindness to myself first and then to others and the world at large. How fast this year has flown – we’re into the last quarter of it already! And how different it turned out to be from all we had thought it might be! Strangely enough, through all the upheaval of the pandemic, I’ve managed to a large extent to practise ‘metta’. I’ve attempted to be kind to myself by not getting too stressed about work, resting when I need to and eating healthy. I’ve also attempted to reach out to others in kindness and throw myself behind some causes for the good of God’s creatures. Today, I’m wondering if you practise self-care and what it means to you.
Practise Self-Care That Works For You
Since we live and work in different situations and contexts, and our emotional and mental make up is unique, self-care should be different and unique to each of us.
What counts as self-care for you may not be appropriate for someone else. One of my self-care practices in the last ten years has been to try and get a regular massage (that’s not been happening for the last 6 months, naturally). When I suggested this to a friend who was stressed out, she told me that a massage would make her very uncomfortable. That’s when I realized that self-care doesn’t come in a one-size-fits-all package. It’s personal and situationally dependent.
Make A Personalized Self-Care Plan
To make a more personalized self-care plan, we need to figure out what actually causes us stress. Sometimes, it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to meet certain goals, other times it’s the nature of our work. When it’s the pressure of doing a lot or thinking a lot that’s getting to you, then practices like meditation, yoga, walking in a park are what will amount to good self-care.
For me, having a quiet day of reading is a day of self-care. For someone else, it might be watching their favourite movie. For a lonely person, it could be getting a chance to socialize. For a hassled mom, it might be a day when someone else is taking care of the kids and she gets to go out with grown ups!
The Practise of Self-Care Should Bring You Joy
When we are practising self-care, it’s important that we keep our long term goals in mind. If health is a long term goal, then binge eating or an all-night television serial marathon can’t be considered self-care. You will only end up feeling guilty and exhausted.
When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
Jean Shinoda Bolen
Good self-care should nourish your soul and bring you joy. Make a list of all the things that you can do to bring joy and refreshment into your life. It could be colouring, drawing, singing, knitting, gardening, trying out a recipe with a friend, having a meaningful chat with a loved one, taking a long drive, doing a guided meditation, take a long bath, oiling your hair – whatever makes you feel good and restores you.
Here are 10 simple ideas for you to practise self-care:
- Watch a funny video, laugh and recharge. Laughter is truly the best medicine.
- Call a friend who gets you (and makes you laugh!).
- Listen to an uplifting song, preferably one with a great beat that makes you get up and move.
- Organize one small area of your room. I like what Cathy@Stillwaters calls ‘a drawer and a chore a day‘.
- Take break from social media for a day.
- Work on a crossword or a jigsaw puzzle.
- Read out some self affirmations.
- Sleep in for a few extra hours and don’t feel guilty about it.
- Give yourself a pedicure.
- Walk to a good spot to view a sunrise or a sunset.
Each of us has to figure out what works for us and how we can incorporate self-care practices into our life.
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One thing that I have practised this year is that I have been kind to myself and listened to myself. Thanks for this post.
Glad to hear this, Ruchi. Do continue! 🙂
The simple truth is no, I don’t practise self care. I do a terrible job of it… My escape has usually been vicarious living inside TV sitcoms. The ideas you jotted down – including setting times for it… I need to do something like that. Days are just getting tougher.
Ah! You do need to make time for this, Roshan. I can’t begin to imagine how stressful your job must be. Do take care.
Those are some nice suggestions for self care practices, Corinne. And you’re right, too. Self care can look very different for all of us. For me, painting, reading, playing with the cats, practising mindfulness and meditation, and watching the sunset are a few forms of self care.
Thanks for sharing, Shinjini. Yes, pets too are a great way to relax (despite the work that comes with them!).
I really enjoyed this post Corinne – lol I must live a life of self care…reading , knitting, bathing, visiting the podiatrist…… I call them my life’s little pleasures. Thanks for mentioning the ‘drawer and a chore’ idea, for me it balances out the rest of my very non productive day, for others it could be used (as you mentioned) to organise or rearrange
Seriously though we do need times of self care in our lives…especially now.
I think we all reach an age and stage where we should go easy and focus on staying well and content.
Hi Corinne – you’re so right about self-care being different for each of us. Some people find going for a run relaxing (not me!) and I love that you included colouring in as one of your examples – I’ve always enjoyed colouring and when it became popular it gave me so much more to choose from! I colour regularly now I have more time – it’s lovely to create something while just enjoying the peace – or sometimes I listen to a podcast to give my brain a bit of a boost while I “create”.
No runs for me either, Leanne! 🙂 I love colouring and knitting too. Have put the knitting on hold due to a bad shoulder. But both are ‘mindless’ activities that help us relax.
Oh I hear you about that pressure we build up on ourselves to do too much and then feel guilty when its not done. I have been trying to take it one day at a time with this pandemic as I really lost my shit in parts over it, without realizing it till ppl pointed it out to me.
Love the fact that you have been bang on with your WOTY – massages can be wonderful and I have been missing them terribly too. I make a scrub out of filter coffee grounds (used or not), sugar, orange peel powder and oil of my choice. Make sure the sugar is very granulated. I use this liberally once a week to scrub and can’t tell you how good it feels- this is self care for me these days!!
If you do try it out, do let me know how was it for you!! XOXO
Glad you got over the funk, Shalz.
Thank you for the scrub recipe. I need to source some orange peel powder and I’ll be set. Will let you know.
hey, you can make the orange peel powder at home, my mom used to that when i was a kid, and i could not understand why we never threw away anything, and used all the peels etc! Now i know better, offcourse 🙂
Great idea. Now need to get the oranges. Thanks, Ishieta.
I got better at practicing selfcare and then corona came. My idea of selfcare has changed now. Give me some silence and I will be selfcared. 😀
All these are some great tips to get a bit of selflove in, Corinne.
Ah! I understand, Vini. I guess you’ll have to put down your foot to make sure you can get some alone, silent time for yourself. When the family realizes that it actually helps you, it will become a natural part of the routine.
During this lock down I had got so busy doing things that had to be done, that I forgot that one of those things should have been looking after myself. Now I am back on track with my yoga and knitting. And just taking an hour in the morning for myself.
Glad you’re back to doing things for yourself, Sunita.
I practice self care, and now I have accepted the fact that feeling not okay is a normal thing, which has added authenticity in my practice! Thanks for sharing Corinne!
A very important thing to do, Sheela. It’s okay not to feel okay at times!
It’s so important to take time out for self care. I think sometimes we get so busy doing things for others that we can easily forget about ourselves. I love your suggestions!
So true, Michelle! Do take care of yourself.
It’s always a pleasure to read you and all your posts resonate and like how.
In love my massages too and need one badly now!
I made a self care Wishlist and refer to it time and again. And I do use most of the things you mentioned.
Much love, Cory.
Thank you, Natasha. Yes, a massage is one of the things I miss most during this pandemic!
Loved the reminder in this post. i find art and crafts to be quite destressing and a great way to take some time off and me-time all rolled into one.
Ah, I can see how your crochet is doing you good, Ishieta.