You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.
~ Garrison Keillor
I’ve been one of those people who was too nice for their own good. This was mostly with my friends, acquaintances and colleagues. You might ask, isn’t ‘niceness’ a good quality in a relationship? Well, it is, if you don’t end up suppressing your needs, your opinions, not stating your preferences, etc.

my new iPod

Why being too nice is not nice

Niceness is nice as long as it’s not a result of low self-esteem, guilt or loneliness. If it’s the result of any of these, then it can really be a killer – because you’ll only attract to yourself people who exploit you.
I guess much of the reason we’re nice is that we all suffer from what I call the ‘what-will-people-say’ syndrome. Well, somewhere along the way, I asked myself who these ‘people’ were, did they really care about me and wasn’t being nice to myself my first duty? I found that when I started expressing my views, opinions and asserting myself that the people who really cared applauded and the ‘exploiters’ were the ones who couldn’t handle it. I also found that I’m happier, less stressed and more confident now than when I was too nice.
In the words of Bill Cosby: ‘I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.’

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