Conflict and I were sworn enemies.
A people pleaser – a soother of wounds
I was known to bring calm to troubled waters
And not rock the boat.
Hurt and insults were buried deep.
What good came out of tackling people?
Wouldn’t they think I was a trouble maker?
I put my relationships before myself.
Sometimes I would share my hurt with a chosen few
In the hope that they would act on my behalf
When they took up my fights for me
I cheered quietly from the sidelines.
But I realized that this was not how mature people act.
I would face up to conflict, I would fight for my rights.
Unfortunately I began to become too forceful.
My new found aggressiveness made me uncomfortable.
This was not me.
I worked on myself and tried to balance my rights with my relationships.
I found the assertive way.
The assertive way?
I will tell you what I feel about how you treat me.
I will listen to your side of the story.
I will act in a way that I can keep my dignity and my relationships.
I will seek to leave you with your dignity intact too.
I will not involve others in my conflict with you.
That’s not fair. That’s not just.
If you choose not to resolve the conflict
Or pretend nothing happened
Then I’ll opt out of the relationship.
Conflict and I are now friends.
I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean ~ G K Chesterton
Are you comfortable with conflict?