When Nourishment Is Necessary

At the start of June I chose the word ‘nourshment’ as my theme for the month. I’ve been choosing words that help bring meaning my Word of the Year – ‘rooted’. I had a whole schedule planned. My rituals, my public writing, my reading and so much else. But something wasn’t working. My body and mind have felt dysregulated. I feel tired and restless at the same time – wanting to slow down, yet feeling pushed to keep going. It leaves me unsettled and unsure.

On reflection I realised that almost a year of caregiving has done this to me. My mind has been on high alert – making sure that José was okay. Watching out. Making sure he wouldn’t fall. Trying to give emtional support as best I could. Taking care of the practical aspects of his care, Lucky’s needs and running the house. It’s been tough. And now when he’s better, my mind and body don’t know how to ease back fully. Part of me knows I must rest and tries to, the other part keeps me hypervigilant and guilty when I rest.

I know that this will sort itself out. I need to ease back. Choosing the theme of nourishment seems inspired now. It’s not what I planned it to be at the start of the month. But it’s what I need right now.

When Nourishment Is Necessary

Nourishment

1. a : means of support, maintenance, or subsistence : living
b : food, provisions

2. a : the act of sustaining : the state of being sustained
b : a supplying or being supplied with the necessaries of life

3 : something that gives support, endurance, or strength

I’m looking at nourishment as a response, a form of listening when I feel out of sorts and unbalanced. Rather than increased effort, what helps is less pressure: simple, uncomplicated but healthy food, relaxed days, and fewer decisions.

Right now, what nourishes me is quiet and depth. Quiet mornings that allow me to set my pace, when José lets me sleep in and keeps the coffee ready. Familiar routines. One thing done with care. Reading a little and stopping when it’s enough. Listening closely to myself, saying no when I need to, noticing small pleasures.

I’ve realised this: you don’t have to be calm to deserve care. Often, it’s when you’re struggling that care matters most. This isn’t about fixing yourself or pushing through.

I’m learning to trust my body’s innate wisdom. Steady, simple nourishment was necessary and that’s what I’ve given myself.

This month, I’ve rested. Caught up on my health check-ups. I’m getting my long-postponed dental issues taken care of. Done some experimental cooking. Called in agencies to do minor household tasks and not feel guilty about it. Taken photographs I’ve shared on Instagram (my glimmers for June). And read for pleasure.

So here I am at almost the end of the month working on getting myself together, piece by piece and grateful for the chance to do this.

I hope your June is going well.

PS: I’ve finally responded to all the comments on the blog from January. So sorry for the delay – I do appreciate you for reading and commenting. It means so much to me.