World Kindness Day: Learning to Be Kind to Myself

Today is World Kindness Day.

For a long time, I think I understood kindness mostly as something we offer other people. A kind word. A listening ear. A meal cooked for someone. A message sent at the right moment. Sitting with someone who is struggling. Being patient when patience is difficult.

I have always believed in this kind of kindness. But I have not always been very good at extending it to myself. Over the last year or so, life has taught me something about vigilance.

When someone you love is unwell, your body learns to stay alert. Even when the worst has passed, even when the nights are peaceful again, some part of you remains awake. I have found myself waking in the night and checking on José. Is he okay? Is he breathing? (that too!) Does he need anything? These days, thankfully, he is better. The nights are mostly peaceful.

And yet, my body has not entirely received the message. I am beginning to understand that sometimes we continue to live as though there is an emergency long after the emergency has passed.

Learning to Be Kind to Myself

Perhaps that is why kindness towards ourselves can be so difficult. We become accustomed to carrying on. We tell ourselves we are fine. We do what needs to be done. And when we are tired, we wonder why we cannot simply try harder.

I recently came across the idea of being fiercely kind to yourself, and those words stopped me. Fiercely kind. Not indulgent. Not selfish. But the kind of kindness that says: Pay attention. You matter too.

It is strange how easily I can offer compassion to someone else and withhold it from myself. If a friend told me she was exhausted, I would not tell her to pull herself together. If someone I loved had spent months worrying, caring, watching and hoping, I would understand why she needed rest. But when it comes to myself, the voice is often different.

There is still more to do. You should be coping better. Why are you so tired? Get on with it.

And I am learning to question that voice.

Rooted = Kindness To Self

This year, my word has been Rooted. I have thought about roots as steadiness. As going deeper. As returning, again and again, to what matters. But perhaps being rooted also means refusing to abandon myself.

It means noticing when I am tired. It means accepting that rest is not something I have to earn. It means listening to the truth of what I feel instead of immediately trying to explain it away. And sometimes, kindness is not soft at all.

Sometimes kindness says no. Sometimes it says, I can’t take this on right now. Sometimes it says, That hurt me. Sometimes it says, I need help.

I have spent enough of my life confusing keeping the peace with being peaceful. I have gone quiet rather than risk upsetting someone. I have softened my words. I have agreed when I wanted to say no. But there is nothing particularly kind about abandoning yourself in order to make everyone else comfortable.

Real kindness, I am beginning to think, has boundaries. It tells the truth. It protects what is precious. It allows us to rest. It lets us ask for what we need.

But Kindness Cannot Stop With Me

At the same time, I don’t want my growing awareness of self-kindness to make my world smaller. In fact, I think the opposite is happening. The more I learn to care for myself without constantly running on empty, the more I want to reach beyond myself. I want to notice. I want to respond. I want to do what I can.

Of course, I cannot solve every problem. None of us can. There is so much suffering in the world that it would be easy to feel overwhelmed and do nothing. But I am increasingly convinced that doing something matters. Even if that something is small.

Recently, I decided to begin accepting paid posts on Everyday Gyaan—not because I want to change the heart of what I write about, but because I want this little corner of the internet to do some good beyond the words I share. The proceeds will go towards causes that matter deeply to me: helping students who struggle to afford their education, caring for street animals who need food and medical attention, and supporting young people who are courageously raising their voices and standing up for what they believe in.

I like the idea that writing and giving can be connected.That something I have spent years building—this blog, this space, this community of readers—might also become a small way of helping someone else.

Perhaps kindness is often about asking a simple question: What do I have that I can share? It may be money. It may be time. It may be a skill. It may be a platform. It may simply be the willingness to notice suffering and refuse to look away.

The Hope Keepers Campaign

One cause that particularly speaks to my heart is the work being done by Deven’s Hope Society here in Hyderabad. Their Hope Keepers Campaign is built around a simple and powerful idea: none of us can save every animal alone, but when many people contribute regularly, together they can change thousands of lives. Their monthly supporters help provide rescued animals with medical care, food, shelter and rehabilitation—and, most importantly, a life with greater dignity and freedom from suffering. Please check the link and become a Hope Keeper and share the word about this campaign. Every little bit matters.

World Kindess Day Resolutions

So today, on World Kindness Day, I am thinking about kindness in both directions. Inward and outward. I am learning to be kinder to myself to recognise my tiredness, to honour my limits, to tell the truth, to rest without guilt. And I am also trying to look beyond myself. To reach out. To support. To give. To use what I have, however small it may seem,to make a difference where I can.

On World Kindness Day, may we be gentle with one another. May we notice who needs help. May we use what we have. May we remember that small acts matter.