No Face More Beautiful

No face more beautiful? No, I’m not endorsing some beauty contest. No, I’m talking about you, my friend.

Some years ago a close blogging community of which I was a part lost one of its members in a very tragic way. Someone who seemed so vibrant, was so kind and loving took her own life unable to bear her own inner pain. Naturally, it made us all really sad and those of us who were closer to her blamed ourselves a little bit for not reaching out more to her. Those of us who didn’t know her well wondered why we hadn’t taken the trouble to connect with her more, and how we hadn’t guessed she was in pain.

The more I have reflected on this, the more I realize that perhaps even if all of us had reached out to her, it wouldn’t have stopped her from doing what she did. Because from all I gathered, this beautiful young woman didn’t believe in her own loveliness, the beauty of her heart.

Today, as I remember her with sadness, I also want to reach out to you dear reader and my blogging friends with this message: You are Enough. No matter what you are going through at this point in your life, believe this.

I Am Enough

You must take the time and make the effort to find the beauty of YOURSELF.  No more, ‘I wish I could be like………’  or ‘If only I had not made bad choices………’  Whatever has happened in the past, whatever is going on at present, believe me when I say that you have the resources within yourself to make it through. Believe in your own beauty, in your own strength, in your own purpose. You have an important role to play in this world – and even if you are not sure of it at this moment, it will be revealed to you in time. Believe.

There’s No Face More Beautiful

You suppose you are the trouble
But you are the cure
You suppose that you are the lock on the door
But you are the key that opens it
It’s too bad that you want to be someone else
You don’t see your own face, your own beauty
Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.
~ Rumi

Listen to Keb’Mo’s ‘I’m Amazing’ here.

If you need to reach out to others for support – do that.

Repeat this affirmation every day : I AM ENOUGH

i-am-enough

There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough. – BRENÉ BROWN

 

May you believe that there is no face more beautiful than yours – every day!

I’m joining Write Tribe and Sanch for #FridayReflections today with a repurposed post for the prompt ‘I Am Enough’.

 

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74 thoughts on “No Face More Beautiful

  1. I have just finished writing my piece based on your prompt which I will publish tonight, I am reading yours now and I am crying, actually I want to break down and sob but with my children in the next room I won’t. Besides I have cried so many times about this, but still it sneaks back up doesn’t it, you know pain it has that way of surprising us. My best friend took her life 7 years ago this July, at the time I was pregnant with my now 6 and half year old son Sam, (on the blog I call him Adam for his privacy, but I trust you.) She loved the name Sam, yet she never got to meet him, hold him, she never knew his name or even that he was a boy. He would have adored her as she was kind and funny and would always do anything for anyone. Her family were toxic yet she couldn’t stop trying to help them, yet when she was injured at work they still wanted her to give and give whilst her physical pain was so terrible it was her mental pain that truly hurt her. I know she knows I was there for her, but I will always feel like I failed her (even if I know I could not stop what happened). I was away when she took her life, she had hung herself from a tree in the middle of winter in a lonely park. She was cut down and ambulance called but she was already brain dead. I saw her for the last time in the hospital, although she was braindead and a machine breathed for her I sat with her for hours singing to her. She was enough!!!!! She was more than enough to me!!!!! I miss her everyday. 2 years ago my anxiety completely took over my life, and depression followed, I didn’t see an out and maybe for the first time I truly understood her choice. But I was determined to not leave my children so I fought the fight of my life and writing truly helped save me. I wish she could have found her saviour, but I am glad she is at peace. An amazing post that has truly touched me, thank you beautiful friend xx

  2. …beautiful.
    And I understand.
    Without support, love, family, & God,
    it is VERY difficult to rise up from that black hole.
    xx from MN.
    PS Rumi is a WOW.

  3. I am so sorry to hear about this incident that took place some 4 years ago! I am pretty sure her family has still not come to terms with the untimely loss! I have lost a dear aunt in a similar way at the age of 37 and know for sure that when you are going through a crisis that forces you to take the extreme step, words do not make sense at all. I think self-acceptance should be a major part of the school curriculum taught from the foundation years because our self-worth is often rooted in our childhood experiences. Loved the message that you conveyed through Rumi’s words!

  4. Reading about your friend feels sad. Most of us are raised in a way which belittles us by comparing our weaknesses to others’ strengths and this sows the seeds, since childhood, that we are not good enough. This damage has the potential to haunt for rest of the lifetime unless the person herself/himself becomes aware to cut this out. It is not easy. I hope I am able to keep this in my awareness in raising my son making him believe ‘he is enough’.

  5. Welcome back Corinne. Its only today I was reading about this- What happens to the soul after suicide and it was something worth knowing. I wish there would be someone for her to make her realize that She is enough.

  6. We all have gone through in our life which says that “Yes, we are not enough”. But, you know, it also needs enough courage to kill oneself because you are watching death so close, which is the ultimate truth of life. People’s words and actions are so ruthless these days, that a normal and happy person can fall into the prey of depression. I also went through depression but how many people can overcome the depression? It is still unsolved..

  7. We are all special in our own way Corinne and I truly believe beauty shines from within. It is a pity that we compare ourselves and don’t have the self-confidence to realise how wonderful we are. #FridayReflections

  8. I needed to read this more than anything today… So many doubts in my mind, I need to repeat to myself that I’m enough and everything will be okay..

  9. It’s something we all need to remind ourselves of every day Corinne – somewhere along the way it wasn’t built into us and we forget – hopefully enough of us will be encouraged to know that we are enough (and more!)

  10. This kind of life-leaving leaves so much sadness behind – so much questioning. What pain your friend must have been undergoing, but the truth is, sometimes there is no explanation. Sometimes we can successfully reach out. Sometimes, there is no answer. (I’ve learned this, though two suicides in my husband’s family). You blog so eloquently. I hope your pain has lessened over the years.

    1. Thank you, Alana.
      It’s always hard not to feel that you could have done more. But like you said, you just have to let go. It’s my fond hope that these individuals have found the peace they struggled to find in this life.
      Sadly, the girl I spoke of left a husband and little child behind. I was never in touch with the family, but I do hope they’ve found healing and peace.

  11. I’ve been on both sides of the line and I know what you are trying to say here. It is indeed a tough job to tell yourself that you’re enough and that you are the cure. I love that quote by Rumi…

  12. Dear Corinne, what happened affected all of us – all on different levels. I don`t know what else to say apart from praying for her family and friends to come to terms with what had happened. Thank you for this post, I am glad that you wrote it. xxx

  13. Dear Corinne, thanks for this message today. ‘Believe’ is the keyword and one needs to practice seeing the beauty in oneself. The news came as a shock to all of us and drilled in the fact that an impulsive second can wreck havoc. We also need to hold out to each other in this belief system — An organic system that binds all of us in every emotional need.

    Joy always,
    Susan

    1. I know how strongly you feel about reaching out, Susan and we must. But like you said we give in to the wrong impulse and the ramifications are tragic.

  14. Corinne, this was a beautiful and unflinchingly honest post about a sensitive topic. I appreciate your straight forward way of saying things here. I am still saddened by our loss and I asked myself a lot of questions after it happened. I do believe your words will help someone and I pray that we will reach out to one another if we need help. I’m putting it here that anyone can feel free to contact me if they need to talk. I am a good listener. As long as we stay engaged we can be a blessing for others. Continuous prayers go out to the family and friends of our lost sister in blogging.

  15. A beautiful and touching post -I have tears rolling down my face right now. Will remember your message ” You are Enough. No matter what you are going through at this point in your life, believe this.” everytime I am down and also remind people around me when they are.

    Thank you so much for such wonderful words!

  16. I was waiting all this while for you to say something Corinne. We have all written for her. And reading what you wrote has brought tears to my eyes. Yes she didn’t think she was enough. No matter what I could have told her or had told her would have been enough if she felt life was hopeless. I am coming to terms with this fact, that I didn’t talk to her the last few days and even if I had she would have done it at some point in her life. But I will always regret not seeing the signs and urging her to go to a professional. I thought my friendship was enough, my chats with her everyday, my visits to her place and the fact that I was always available for her if she needed me. Thank you for calling me that day, when I was so low and devastated. Loving you for always being there for us.

    1. Rimly, I know you did whatever you could do. Please don’t blame yourself in any way. You loved her and she loved you back – that’s what you need to remember. Love and hugs

  17. Hi Corinne, sure, I’ll post it soon. It’s nothing really, just me working through my emotions. 🙂 Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend, my friend.

  18. I’m so very sorry about your friend. I have lost several friends over the years to depression/suicide. It is so tragic. The one friend who survived the attempt was able to tell me what it is like to get to that point. What I learned is that, just as you said, there is nothing that others can do if someone is determined. Continuing to offer love and support, and whatever intervention is possible, is all we can do. Peace and blessings to you and all your friends who are sad and mourning now.

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your friends too, Galen. Yes, we do all we can and pray that people have the strength to reach out for help. Thank you for sharing, Galen.

  19. Although I know what you are trying to say but I strongly feel that maybe if blogging world had connected maybe just maybe she could have been maybe made to change her mind. Maybe no one did and she was left alone to deal with whatever she was.
    I find it sad that we have such a big family and missed something.
    I am so sorry for the loss.

    1. That was not the case here, Bikram. People did reach out. But like I said many times it’s never enough until we realize that we are enough.

  20. It’s so sad to know someone could not go on. Your advice to us is well taken. Thank you Corinne.

  21. Beautifully said, Corinne. Sancheeta shared her beautiful spirit in every contact I had with her. The only other thing I want to add is to thank you for all the wisdom you impart to all of us and for fostering a sense of community among us. God bless.

  22. All I wanna say is ……..”thanks a ton Corinne”…Am really sorry and sad for yr friend, cuz I hv gone thru something similar in my personal life. Corinne its very difficult to reach out to a person who is in that state of mind, even if physically you are next to him/her, as you said we should understand our own worth. Once again I wanna thank you, your words hv reached me just at the RIGHT time…..

  23. Could not add anything to your words Corrine!! I agree 100% and you stated the message 1000% times better then I could. It is always sad when someone ends the ride but your right no one could have stopped her from going down that path at this time, it would have taken a lifetime of pain to make her do the ultimate act of desperation

  24. It is indeed sad that we sometimes fail to see what goodness we have inside us, as we concentrate on what the world thinks of us form the outside…Emotional pain is sometimes so overwhelming that only the person going through it would know only the pain he/she is going through and from experience no matter how much you have people to support and pull you out of it, it is ONLY YOU who needs to take the step to let go and move on or to wallow in the pain.

    My heart goes out to your friend who had to fight with her inner self……May her soul rest in peace……..

  25. I’m sorry to hear about your friend.
    I guess all of us have some inner struggle. I myself have trouble coming to terms with not knowing how my life will turn out or if there is still a kind of bright future ahead. I get cynical and sad.. I turn to blogging and writing fro hope and inspiration. It helps and I’m happier… 🙂

  26. Dear Corinne,

    I don’t know what to say. Nobody can stop anyone else from making the tragic choice of ending their own life. In a way it’s almost pompous to think this is possible. Having said that, I try each day to nudge myself and others toward more powerful versions of ourselves in the hopes that we can not only stay alive but be FULLY engaged in life. XOXOX

    1. Staying fully engaged in life is the key, Linda and yes we can nudge others on, but it’s for them to take the leap. Thank you for nudging me on ♥

  27. A really touching message Corinne. I was very sad as well when we all lost a beautiful member of our community. It’s always sad when a candle blows out in the world, it loses a little of its light. Sometimes we are so busy appreciating others, having compassion on others, that we lose the sense of who we are and how important we are in this world.
    Beautiful Rumi quote.

  28. I pondered on your reflection today, I acknowledged a ‘hurt’ and a ‘longing’ inside. It’s a pain I guess that only God can heal whether it was the demise of a friend or a loss of a loved one…and a ‘longing’ that someone could just be truly present esp. when times get rough…

    And you are right, no matter how much we convince a person to be open to other options, we couldn’t. I think we have to know the psyche of depressed people… to truly grasp what they’re going through…

    I wish I could be physically present to those hurting people … but I can’t…

    “You are enough” you wrote. This is self-empowerment. It’s an acknowledgment of our own inner strength ~ that no matter what happens, we could always bounce back to life. Tutto passa (Everything passes)…I pray people to have faith not only in themselves but in God… one is never alone.

    Oh thanks so much BS. I think I got carried away… there’s still so much to say…I’ll just continue in your inbox 😛 Lots of love :*

  29. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I do not know her, but I wish her the best in the afterlife and hope that she is able to find peace. Your words are so beautiful. I am sure they will reach many that need to hear them.

  30. I am so filled with mixed emotions..I have been where “SHE” was…. I understand it so well from both sides….yet I understand nothing…. I have been in that moment where the inner pain becomes so unbearable that you intend on taking your own life…I know at that moment nothing anyone said or did would have made a difference…at that point you are not rational..you just can’t see clear… and though I have been there , I find myself thinking of “her”often…wondering why…. all I pray is that “she”is at peace..where there is no more pain….. I think this post was is a beautiful tribute to “her”….Thank you Corinne…. loving you…As always…XOXOXOXOXO

  31. So perfectly expressed and truly from your heart, Corinne. Yes, we should all know and believe that we are enough, right here and right now, and beloved in the sight of God.
    Rumi’s quotation reminds me of lyrics from Stephen Curtis Chapman’s song, “Fingerprints of God” – “The person in the mirror doesn’t look like a magazine, but when I look at you, it’s clear to me. I can see the Fingerprints of God.”
    That we would all see His fingerprints when we look at our reflections.
    Blessings, my friend, and thank you for this most sensitive post.

  32. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of one of your friends in the blogging community. It is hard to lose someone we care about–especially fellow bloggers–because while we may never meet them physically–it is as if we meet them (through their writing) on a spiritual level and that connection can be strong. I think your assessment is correct–that no matter how much you would have reached out–if she did not believe in her own beauty, her own value–no one could do that for her. Still how sad that she could not see this of herself. Many hugs to you and those that knew her. I’m sure there is a hole in your heart from this loss.

    Cheers, Jenn.
    http://www.wine-n-chat.com

    1. Thank you, Jenn for understanding the bond between us bloggers. It’s hard to explain that to ‘outsiders’ – that these relationships are so real. Yes, the saddest part is that this lovely woman couldn’t see what we all could.

  33. amazing synchronicity…I just wrote a poem called “I am enough!”

  34. This is so true! I’m trying to figure out what happened. I’ve been away from all of my blogging communities. Sending hugs and prayers of peace to her family and friends because during this time, they will ask the questions that unfortunately have no answers.

    1. I know you’re busy, Sili and everyone understands. We’re all thinking of her family too – it’s always so hard for those left behind.

  35. Oh Corinne I have tears rolling down my face, sadness and so touched by your words. You have no idea how appropriate they are for me today. Loving you always is so easy to write and not be authentic. I have never meant it more in my life. You have been a savior so many times with your words. Today is especially difficult and today you were there. <3<3<3

  36. blogging friendships are complicated; most often, we never actually meet or speak to the person. I have a close group of women who I connected with daily. More so, than most people I know as we are all stay at home moms, and that can be isolating. I would be devastated to lose one of them. Weird. I’ve never met them. weird.

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