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55 Fiction

 

This is in response to a brilliant tutorial and a prompt by Vidya Sury on Write Tribe.

 

Train Tracks 

Rahul walked slowly alongside the tracks.  Fed up of the monotony of it all, he wondered if he should end it. Everything seemed  meaningless without his sweet Sheela.  He wasn’t  allowed to meet her  since she fell ill.  Suddenly, he heard a voice, “Rahul, stop it! That toy train of yours is driving me mad!”

 

 

 

Yellow Roses

“You don’t bring me flowers any more!” she had cried yesterday.
He bought yellow roses on his way to meet her that evening. On the card he wrote, ‘To the love of my life!’
“Look what I brought for you, sweetheart!”
“My favorite,” she said flashing him a toothless smile. “But who are you?”

 

 

 

 

 

32 Comments

  1. vishalbheeroo vishalbheeroo August 14, 2013

    Such beautiful stories expressing love and various expressions in few words. Flawless writing:)

  2. Richa Singh Richa Singh August 11, 2013

    Both the stories had a wonderful surprise element. They bought managed to make me smile 🙂

  3. SuKu (sunitakurup Sapru) SuKu (sunitakurup Sapru) August 9, 2013

    OMG!! both are lovely and brilliant… loved the toy train thing in the first one, bought a smile 🙂 … second one was touchy with the disease… nice ones

  4. Ruch Ruch August 9, 2013

    Nice twist in the first one. The second one just made me sad

  5. preetilata preetilata August 6, 2013

    Both are superb. While the second one makes your heart wrench. The first one gives you a strong jolt. So my favorite here is the first one.

    Toy trains hold a very special place in my heart, after of course a bicycle.

  6. Bhavya Bhavya August 5, 2013

    That was so beautiful Corinne! The second one especially so…

  7. Sheethal Sheethal August 4, 2013

    Enjoyed both! But t he train twist was unexpected and the second too. keep writing more 🙂

  8. Deesnitch Deesnitch August 4, 2013

    I liked both..but the second one broke my heart and i loved it more :’) Alzheimer’s is one of my irrational fear wala illness

  9. Aditi Aditi August 3, 2013

    Brilliant job! Completely bowled over by the second one!!

  10. Shilpa Garg Shilpa Garg August 3, 2013

    Applause!! Both the 55ers are simply fab! Loved the twists!! 🙂

  11. Sulekha (@sulekkha) Sulekha (@sulekkha) August 3, 2013

    You continue to amaze me with your creativity and you also inspire me to try different forms of writing.

  12. Smita Smita August 3, 2013

    Loved the second piece 🙂 there was something about the toothless smile that made me grin…..reminded me of those numerous mosquito ads that are coming on tv these days 🙂

  13. ushamenon ushamenon August 3, 2013

    Corinne you are a perfect story teller. With what ease and finesse you have written 55 words ! Amazing! I loved both.

  14. Kathy Kathy August 3, 2013

    I loved both of your stories. They were both brilliant but I have to say that the twist in the first one was my absolute favorite. Brilliant!!

  15. Alka Alka August 3, 2013

    Brilliant. You are good at this. Loved the interesting twist in both the stories.

  16. Sheela Sheela August 3, 2013

    Both Superb! Yellow roses captivated me to think on it for long….

  17. Suzy Suzy August 3, 2013

    Oh you are a master story teller. Loved the twist in both. I absolutely love yellow roses. And I hope I will always know the loves of my life 🙂

  18. Vaisakh Venugopal Vaisakh Venugopal August 3, 2013

    Beautiful stories. Especially the second one. Reminded me of ‘The Notebook’ 🙂

  19. […] writers and bloggers with prompts, bloghops and linkups. When I suggested 55 fiction as a prompt to Corinne, she asked if I would “take the lead” And I jumped right in. How crazy if I did not […]

  20. Kalpana Solsi Kalpana Solsi August 2, 2013

    The first one , a superb twist. I was scared.
    The second one of the old age dementia. so sad. written so beautifully.

  21. Kajal Kajal August 2, 2013

    Those are nice…the first one really cute and the second one was such an unexpected twist! Very nice!!

  22. Shail Shail August 2, 2013

    Corinne! I am bowled over by the second one! The perfect,classic 55-er. WTG. 🙂
    The other one is good too, but my fav takes away all my attention. 😀

    • CorinneRodrigues CorinneRodrigues Post author | August 2, 2013

      Thanks, Shail. I know why you liked the second one better – because I tried too hard with the first! 🙂

  23. Debbie Debbie August 2, 2013

    Great surprise twist for both! Good ones, Corinne.

  24. Vidya Sury Vidya Sury August 2, 2013

    😀 I loved both! The toy train twist was great!
    And the Alzheimer’s twist to the second one is superb.
    Did you enjoy writing them?

    • CorinneRodrigues CorinneRodrigues Post author | August 2, 2013

      Thanks, Vidya. I can see myself getting addicted to this! All your fault it will be.

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