Last evening, as I sat reading some blogs, Pablo came up to me and started whacking me with his paw. What did he want? A little game of ball.
For a dog who almost never barks, he certainly has a way of letting us know what he needs. Sometimes it’s a little treat of cheese when we’re having a snack, sometimes it’s a game of ball, or he wants his water bowl refilled, another toy from his ‘toy cupboard’ and sometimes it’s just a ‘head massage’. And he’s so charming about it all, that he usually gets his way.
Pablo asking Jose to play ball with him
As I reflected on this aspect of Pablo’s behavior, I thought of my own journey in asking for what I need. I used to have a huge problem asking people for what I need. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m happy to be the giver but not so comfortable being the one who receives. I think it’s a deep insecurity – a fear of being rejected, that stopped me from asking for what I need. But I’m gradually learning that it isn’t fair to expect our loved ones to guess what we need. It’s important for us to expressly say things like: ‘I’m really tired, can you help me with this…’ or ‘I need a hug’…..or ‘I’m worried about something and would like to discuss it with you….’ or ‘I’m not sure of this and would like your opinion……’
In fact, I’ve learnt that asking to have your valid needs met is part of any healthy relationship.
Pablo asking for a snack!
You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it. ~ Barbara De Angelis
Do you ask for what you need or do you expect your loved ones to guess?
A lover of words. A self-acceptance blogger. A blogging coach. A book reviewer. A woman happily journeying through midlife, moving from self-improvement to self-acceptance and enjoying being herself.
Corinne writes at Everyday Gyaan, reviews fiction at CorinneRodrigues.com and encourages writers and bloggers at Write Tribe and offers offline coaching to writers and bloggers at The Frangipani Creative, located in Secunderabad, India.