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Fathers Day Grievance List #FathersDay

Father’s Day? I always wonder about days like Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. Are they created for commercial purposes? Are they meant to be that one day of the year you treat with kindness, the people you take for granted all year around? If so, we need to add a lot more  such ‘special’ days to the year, because I sure do take a lot of people for granted.

My Fathers Day Grievance List

Dearest Dad

Today is Father’s Day and I haven’t wished you, yet. This is a strange kind of ‘letter’ to write on a day like this, but like I said, I’m not really sure about the ‘specialness’ of Father’s Day. However, what this day made me resolve to share with you the list of grievances I have against you.

Grievance Number 1 – Being Taken For Granted

How’s that your fault, you wonder? Well, the fact is that you’re always there when people need you. I lose count of the number of  people who’ve been at the receiving end of your support and assistance.  You’ve provided for and taken on loads of people who need (and some who don’t need – but just take advantage!!!) your advice and your help. Perhaps, the fact that you’re always asking people how you can help them, makes it difficult for them to say ‘no’?

So it would help, if (sometimes) you sat back. Let other people reach out to those in need. And allow those who just act helpless to learn to take care of themselves! The fact that being taken for granted sometimes causes you to feel upset, leads me to….

Grievance Number 2 – Not Sharing Your Pain

Yes, that’s a big negative in your nature. I’ve learnt, from my inclination to bottle pain, that it doesn’t work. No, it is not stoical to take whatever comes on the chin. There’s a time and a place for that. But there’s also a time and a place and persons you must unburden yourself to. You must learn to tell people when they’ve hurt you. Don’t tell me it’s too late for an old dog (an 85 year old!) to learn new tricks. You’re the same person who picked up how to use the computer at 82 – so you can and must learn to tell us when you’re hurt or angry or upset. I’ve learnt to do this and though my outbursts may not always be ‘nice’ (and certainly not palatable to you), they make me feel better about myself, about others and about life.

Grievance Number 3 – The Way I am

I’m sure you had a lot of dreams about the way you wanted me to turn out. I’m pretty sure that I haven’t lived up to some of those dreams. I’m definitely not a soft-spoken and gentle-natured woman – but then who is to blame for me being opinionated and strong? You!

  • Yes, by allowing me to have my own opinion and giving me space to express it – you encouraged me to speak my mind.
  • By letting me take my own decisions, watching me make mistakes and letting me learn from them, you encouraged me to strong.
  • By not treating me any different from my brothers, you taught me to be a believer in  equal rights.

Okay – so Number 3 isn’t really a grievance, but I thought it was important to say these things.

So Dad, this Father’s Day, please resolve to treat yourself well – and do retire, finally! Put your feet up, let go of all those things you ‘need to do’ for other people – they’ll survive, I promise. And read all those books waiting to be read, watch all those movies you’ve wanted to and listen to all that music you enjoy!

Your daughter (aren’t you glad you had just one? πŸ˜‰ )

PS:  You’re the person I seem to take for granted the most. I don’t mean to be this way, I guess I’ve just fallen in to the habit, as have a lot of people in your life. The occasional word of appreciation or birthday wishes  are not enough to tell you just how much you mean to me and my grateful thanks for all you have done and continue to do for me. 

19 Comments

  1. Frances Frances June 21, 2016

    What a beautiful tribute!! I didn’t quite know what to expect and of course that’s the beauty of your writing.

    Thanks for sharing a piece of your father with us.

    Frances

  2. Jennifer Jennifer June 21, 2016

    Your Dad sounds fantastic and the best Dads usually exhibit these 3 characteristics (yes, even allowing their daughters to become opinionated.) There must be some type of Dad code that they follow. Love the pictures of you and your Dad and what I can see–love for each other.

  3. Vibha Vibha June 20, 2016

    Did he read it then? And did he take your ‘advice’? Daughters can get away with a lot, saying all kinds of things to parents. And even if it’s unpalatable, parents take it with no rancour whatsoever. Of course, it’s another matter that they may not abide by the ‘advice’ that kids, in their know-it-allness give to seasoned experts like them ! πŸ™‚ I know mine didn’t !

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | June 20, 2016

      He did and didn’t comment, Vibha. And nothing has changed! Thanks for stopping by here.

  4. Parul Thakur Parul Thakur June 20, 2016

    Absolutely loved this letter, Corinne. Well, I also have the same grievance with my dad. Being always there for people who take him for granted and I think I have got this trait from him. Apple doesn’t fall far from its tree.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | June 20, 2016

      Thanks, Parul. I worked my way out of being that way. I’ve come to believe that it’s not too good for us to allow people to take us for granted. πŸ™‚

  5. Debbie D Debbie D June 20, 2016

    Like father, like daughter, it seems! πŸ˜€ Yes, we often do take our loved ones for granted. These special days serves as reminders, I suppose, but agree that mostly, they are for commercial purposes. We should celebrate special people all year ’round. Loved the photos, Corinne especially the last one. You have a beautiful smile!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | June 20, 2016

      Thanks, Debbie. We don’t celebrate the ‘Hallmark holidays’ in our family, but I wrote that post a while back.
      The last two photographs are from my wedding.

  6. Obsessivemom Obsessivemom June 20, 2016

    This was such a sweet letter. Sometimes kids can teach their parents a thing or two about looking out for themselves.

  7. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues June 24, 2010

    @ Vivek – Truly well said – the best ones are those that encourage the detours.. Let's say mine didn't stop me πŸ™‚

    @ Sashu – How have you been? You've been missed – am blogrolling your WP blog.

    @ IHM – Praise from you is always taken seriously πŸ™‚

    @ Mayje – Thanks for visiting. Would love to read your post to your Dad. Your creations are very pretty.

    @ Anil – Thanks for the visit. Your series on the Mumbai readers is fab.

  8. Anil P Anil P June 23, 2010

    There is so much many of us can identify in what you have so beautifully described.

  9. Mayje Mayje June 22, 2010

    This is so touching! I hope to write a letter just like this to my father one day too. He passed away 10 years ago and there are really a lot of things I also want to tell him.

  10. indianhomemaker indianhomemaker June 21, 2010

    Beautiful Corinne!! What a lovely way to wish your dad!

  11. Sashu... Sashu... June 21, 2010

    so very trur corinne!! πŸ™‚

  12. Vivek Vivek June 20, 2010

    Hey Corinne,
    Nice Post.Liked Point #3. Not all dreams of parents' will be realized when it comes to their kids.But I think the best ones know to encourage the detours πŸ˜‰

    I guess these 'days' are indeed inventions of Archies/Hallmarks of the world.

    Do we need a 'day' to remember parents?

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