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Real Conversation #MondayMusings #MondayBlogs

A while back, I lamented the fact that I’ve spent too much time in meaningless conversations.  Personally, I’m still struggling to find people to have deep conversations with – apart from my husband and a very few friends.  I find, at times, that I can have much more honest and open conversations with people I’ve never met – online, than with the ‘real’ people I know, other than my husband and a very few friends.

real conversations

I wonder if it is because I’ve become rather outspoken the older I get. As far as I know, I’m not rude, but I certainly don’t hesitate to express my opinions. Is it me or are people forgetting the art of meaningful conversation? Could it be that people are no longer wanting to make the time, effort and do the ‘work’ it takes to have meaningful conversations?


To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk ~ Thomas Moore


A recent study by Dr Matthias Mehl, a psychologist at the University of Arizona shows that the happiest people are those who have the most meaningful conversations. (Read this article for more details).

So in not wanting to go beyond triviality and practical communication, we may actually be putting our happiness at risk.

That’s not a chance I want to take. Do you?

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  1. Vinitha Vinitha March 19, 2019

    I think my deep, meaningful conversations are happening with only my husband these days and a few friends from the blogging world. People are so busy now. Everyone is so damn busy. It’s demotivating to have a meaningful conversation when you get the feeling that the other person is on a run. My close friend who lives here has become like that and finally when she is ready to talk I feel empty. I met someone once at a party recently and for the first time someone I talked to was interested in poetry and we talked like a couple of geeks admiring language and its beauty. Oh, I was so happy that day. 🙂

  2. the bespectacled mother the bespectacled mother March 15, 2019

    For me, real conversations are those which directly speak to my heart, in which I feel genuinely happy. And, since I have had with more a few persons in the world outside of virtual space, I now cannot bring myself to tolerate small frivolous talks. It happened with me that since I discovered and found great bonds in Bangalore, I had begun to think of myself as being capable of interacting with all kinds of women who cross my path. This was a mistake I realised after some time. Also, the realisation dawned I was plain lucky with the sensible people I met and the friends I made in Bangalore. The same does not happen everywhere and I have stopped looking.

  3. Esha M Dutta Esha M Dutta March 13, 2019

    I think it is to do with the times we live in. It’s my personal view that people seem self-absorbed and distracted and perpetually short of time. It definitely has to do with the intrusion of social media into our lives that people no longer feel the need to connect one-on-one when they are literally hooked online 24/7. I think missing out on deep heartfelt conversations is very sad but very typical of the times we live in.

  4. Dr.Amrita Basu Dr.Amrita Basu March 12, 2019

    Honestly I have always been like this.I find it painful to manage small talk and will do anything to avoid it Life is too short for all that .A ost that made me think

  5. Kalpana Solsi Kalpana Solsi March 12, 2019

    I have to know the person very well before embarking on a meaningful conversation. A lady with whom I walked in the park said that as she is getting older ( and mature) she loves to interact with people . Earlier she would confine to her own inner world. I thought i found my ilk. Conversations have become difficult and rare (maybe) due to digital technology.

  6. Natasha Natasha March 12, 2019

    I mostly make an effort to know people with whom I can strike meaningful conversations.
    But you are right, it is getting harder as we grow older to find such people. And I guess that’s just alright. I’m happy to have only few of my tribe.

  7. writershilpa writershilpa March 12, 2019

    HAving meaningful conversations with people does take a lot of courage and patience, too…Oh, and acceptance, too! I can have such conversations with a few close friends, knowing that we all respect each other’s opinions. However, at times, it can get difficult having such kind of deep, meaningful conversations with certain people from the real world. They are hell bent on proving themselves right and rarely accept the other person’s point of view.

  8. Damyanti Biswas Damyanti Biswas March 12, 2019

    I speak with everyone, but I know that it is not always going to be pleasant. My point is to keep my energy high, no matter what, and if I disagree with what is being said, I tell myself, it is the other person’s journey, and valid in their eyes. I end up having meaningful conversations more often than not…but I agree that they’re fewer than I would like to have,

  9. Shubhra Rastogi Shubhra Rastogi March 12, 2019

    Being an introvert I find it extremly difficult to talk to people. I find it difficult to have real conversation with people other than the ones who are very close to me. I really dont like gosssiping as each one is capable of doing the best in their own ways.

  10. Michele Morin Michele Morin March 11, 2019

    I get frustrated with myself sometimes over the shallowness of my interactions with others.
    And I agree that if we fail to go deep in conversation, we really are missing out.

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