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Ring Ring

Ring Ring….telephone ring…..goes the song from Lobo echoing times when that sound was actually welcome – because we heard it so infrequently.

Not anymore I’m afraid! Isn’t this picture quite typical of our public gatherings these days?

Spending quality family time together ...

Just the other day at a restaurant, I watched the host leave her guests at the table – to get to know each other – while she took a phone call which lasted for a long time. At a get-together recently, I sat next to someone who texted her way through the evening, mindless of the people around. Why do such people bother to get together with others? Won’t they be better off talking or texting by themselves and leave the others to their own devices? Okay, that’s a bad pun, but you get my drift!

Bad mobile phone manners include

Having an obnoxiously loud ringtoneThe sign in the Catholic Church reads: ‘No WMDs allowed.” WMDs? Weapons of Mass Distraction. Yes, our lovely mobile phones. Nothing worse than to have one ring in the middle of a religious service! Don’t people know how to turn their phones off or put them on vibrate mode? Seems not!

Speaking loudly in public.  Why do people think it’s okay to let the whole world know what’s going on in their private lives?

Being disruptive.  I’ve actually sat next to someone talking on his mobile phone while we took a final test in Spanish!  I think he got his telephone etiquette course in the wrong language.  I felt like it translating for him by gently pressing his neck! πŸ˜‰

Talking or texting while driving or riding. You would think that this is understood, right? Wrong! I’ve seen far too many people being so careless about their safety and that of other people.

Taking personal calls during business meetings and business calls during personal meetings.  I can only think that people want to turn off their business associates by wasting their time, or are trying to  impress  family and friends with how important  they are.  Shouldn’t the people you are with be your first priority? I saw a nice reminder about this:
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Need I say more?

This is written in response to the prompt ‘Telephone’ by Cat Graham for The Writers’ Post Thursday Blog Hop #90

 

43 Comments

  1. […] even mean? Stillness? No time for it now. I’ve got deadlines to meet. Places to go. People to network with. Stillness? It makes me uncomfortable. Stillness? A luxury I can’t afford. And yet… […]

  2. […] post is really not about proxemics, although I could rant about mobile phone users invading our personal space. Β No, I’d rather talk about personal space invaders of another kind. Β In India, it’s […]

  3. Vaisakh Vaisakh August 30, 2013

    Loud ringtones really get on my nerves. Especially when trying hard to debug some code and ear-splitting music blares from the adjacent cubicle. 😐

  4. A Walk into the Woods A Walk into the Woods August 30, 2013

    Nope.. you’ve got it all right!! In fact, when I actually attend boring parties, I decide to consciously find something to do on my phone. he he.. why do i attend? ahh that’s a tough question.. sometimes complying is better than saying no.. so i pass. πŸ™‚

  5. chattywren chattywren August 30, 2013

    *affects, I meant, sorry for typo!

  6. chattywren chattywren August 30, 2013

    I confess to keep checking my phone every few minutes, and it is now driving me crazy. I realise how it keeps interrupting my thoughts, actions and does not let me be in the moment. Straddling two very different worlds does take a toll on you and effects productivity. Now, I keep my phone away when kids and hubby are home and give myself a couple of hours to check updates/mails!

  7. Latha Latha August 29, 2013

    I totally agree with you, Corinne.. I used to hate when my sis keeps texting in all of our presence. I am going into that mode slowly, I observe, with whats ap installed. I keep cursing myself for doing it and trying my best to restrain out of it. Rest all, I main the etiquette πŸ™‚

  8. Anne Anne August 28, 2013

    What about talking on the phone in a public toilet? This just happened earlier when I was at the mall. Don’t know how others feel about this but I really get irritated when people talk on the phone as if they were just in the comfort of their own living room.

  9. preetilata preetilata August 25, 2013

    β€œI fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” Albert Einstein

    Unfortunately i have met people who have all the above mentioned Qualities(:P) imbibed in them. If only people learn

    Next time i will try to direct such people to this blog post of yours.

  10. Rum Punch Drunk Rum Punch Drunk August 24, 2013

    Yes, it’s so annoying when people just can’t switch off for 10 minutes to eat dinner, have a chat etc. I use to hate talking to a certain person because every time I was having a conversation with them, their mobile phone would ring and they had the audacity to tell ME to ‘hold on a minute’ while they took the call. How rude.

    Maybe certain places should have a system where if you walk into a restaurant, you won’t receive any mobile signal at all, until you go back outside. You can then eat in peace and have a decent conversation.

  11. Amit Amit August 24, 2013

    I have been accused of this and I have more or less controlled myself. πŸ™‚ Now I am in a much better condition than I was 2 years ago. πŸ™‚

  12. Melissa Melissa August 24, 2013

    Hmmm…I have learned through experience how mobile phones could disrupt communication at a deeper level. I really dislike it when it happens at meal times or gatherings when we’re supposed to talk to each other…Apart from the cp is the ipad my nieces have. I have to beg them for their attention, lol, once they get hold of their gadgets.

    I also learned to ‘unhook’ the phone ~ not connect them in FB/Twitter/Skype ~ most of my friends coming from another continent would buzz me at the wee hours.

    Oh well, we’ll learn much much more ~ the pros and cons of our modernity and technology

  13. Shilpa Garg Shilpa Garg August 23, 2013

    You are bang on, Corinne!! Now-a-days, a smartphone is glued in our hands like an additional appendage! We cant live without it! While technology in our hands is simply great, but its abuse is certainly not acceptable. Have experienced all these bad mobile manners. Recently, we went to a friend’s place and another friend was busy with his phone, we thought he must be sending some important mail/messages…. it was known a bit later that he was playing a game on his phone!! 😐

  14. G Angela G Angela August 23, 2013

    Corinne ! its such a common sight now… I see youngsters these days so busy even when they are in a social gathering or a function busy texting, and sometimes its also risky driving and talking on the phone – recently I found one lady driving with one hand, and busy with the cell phone on the other hand, its so scary. I insist students to switch off the cell phones when they come to us, and I too do not carry my cell phone in the counselling session. I try my best not to take the call when I am driving, and I prefer to leave the cell at home when I go to church, sometimes its unavoidable and I carry with me if I feel its important..

  15. Lazy Pineapple Lazy Pineapple August 23, 2013

    Okay you got me….I do this sometimes….but try and avoid it as much as possible. I think many of us do it unconsciously and don’t realize it. I never take calls in movie halls or in a restaurant as I feel it is plain rude. At such times I do end up messaging the caller that I will contact them later.

  16. Vishnu Vishnu August 23, 2013

    Enjoyed reading this Corinne – I’m not perfect in this regard and have unfortunately taken a call when I was in check out line in a supermarket. I can’t stand when others do that and probably irritated others when doing it. But in my defense, I told the person I would call them back.

    To avoid other situations like this, I also leave my phone behind sometimes as hard as it may be to do. Sometimes traveling without our cell phones is a liberating and freeing experience. When you simply don’t have to bother about what news, emergency or update will be coming your way. Almost 100% of the time, the matter I received a call or text about was not a life-threatening emergency.

  17. Priya Priya August 23, 2013

    Great post..!! Even I have failed to understand what makes some people react to the urge of picking up their mobile phones.. So intense is the urge that they forget their manners.. Even I make it a point that I do not fidget with my phone while in public or while in get togethers.. !! Thoughtful post .. !!

  18. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando August 22, 2013

    I am right there with you on this one! It seems that the more technology we have, the less we meaningfully communicate with others. Giovanni had a friend over the other day. Were they talking to each other? Hardly! Both of them were on their own phones texting away. Reminded me of this photo at the top of your post!
    It’s truly a different world . . .
    Blessings, Corinne!

  19. Dr Roshan R Dr Roshan R August 22, 2013

    I witness this a lot. I remember a sir pointing it out when 4 of us sat down at the same table and noone was even looking at each other- all busy with their mobiles. This was 2004, mind you so we havent really changed a lot over the decade.

  20. sridevi sridevi August 22, 2013

    That picture is so apt and funny Corrine . Many a time , I have experienced this and often I felt like shaking up the persons and drilling some sense into their heads . Me thinks its all about wanting to impress that the people with the cell phones are the only ones who are busy and all the others are just twiddling their thumbs

  21. Suzy Suzy August 22, 2013

    Isn’t that ever so true. Sometimes I wonder if they’re actually paying attention in the meeting. Picture nicely depicts your post. Quite sad actually that social skills are deteriorating. Good post Corinne.

  22. Meena Menon Meena Menon August 22, 2013

    Point noted! I am guilty of it few times… but then what do I do if am dragged to places I don want to be at allll :-/

  23. Vidya Sury Vidya Sury August 22, 2013

    Ha, ha ha to that! Gooood points!

    I often want to give them a k up their collective a-s when people do that. But hey, you left out another important point – these days couples out on a date continue to speak to other people on their phones throughout. We actually saw that while out at dinner – they were eating with one hand and had their other hand holding the phone. No, wait, I am lying. The guy had blue tooth and the girl had one hand free to eat. Another time, while walking to the supermarket, we saw a couple holding hands and walking but talking on the phone. Is it a fad or what?

    My pet hate is the loud on the phone in a crowd. Ugh.
    Most of the time, my caller is lucky if I answer the phone. Happily I have learned to set individual ringtones with one for family, one for known numbers and another for the eggestras.

    So much for technology. I am happy with my landline and actually having face to face meetings. πŸ™‚

    You know what? Somewhere down the line, some years later, people will be writing about a unique way to communicate – actually meeting and speaking directly πŸ˜‰

  24. Mary Stephenson Mary Stephenson August 21, 2013

    Hi Corinne

    Amen to that!!!!
    Why would you visit with someone and be so rude as to be on the phone with someone else? I just don’t get it. And how about all the people that die or are permanently disabled due to someone being so self-centered as to be texting or talking on the phone while driving. That is the height of stupidity. It is actually worse than drunk driving. As someone drunk usually knows that they are some what impaired and therefore might actually be a little more cautious.

    Mary

  25. Sheethal Susan Jacob Sheethal Susan Jacob August 21, 2013

    I am guilty here for talking while driving… nd today only I was fined 500Riyal πŸ™ :'( for that! I am not gonna touch my phone while in my car!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Oh I can’t say I’m sorry you got caught, Sheetal. You’re lucky you didn’t meet with an accident. The Universe is telling you something – do listen.

  26. usha menon usha menon August 21, 2013

    Very true. A phone is being misused so much that it has become a nuisance.It is mainly because people do not bother about others’ inconvenience and go on blah blah blah.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Yes, I think we’re getting more and more insensitive to the people around us, Mrs Menon.

  27. Kathy Kathy August 21, 2013

    There is so much truth in this! I remember going to a Thanksgiving dinner where my niece texted the whole time. I thought it was extremely rude and both my husband and I vowed that neither of our kids would be allowed to have a cell phone at the dinner table or a gathering.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Kathy, we have a rule in our home – no calls will be made or received during meal time. Good decision about the kids!

  28. Kajal Kajal August 21, 2013

    Okay…this one is bang on! I hate it (also) when people take calls in a movie theatre…it annoys me to bits and I feel like snatching the phone away and gulping it down, so they never get it back ….grrrr!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Why am I not surprised that this irritates you in the movie theatre, Kajal? πŸ˜‰

  29. Kalpana Solsi Kalpana Solsi August 21, 2013

    The device which is supposed to connect people is ‘disconnecting’ relationships. In public gathering or private parties or even birthday parties of children this gadgets is a spoilsport.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      You’re so right about the disconnecting bit, Kalpana!

  30. Pratibha Pratibha August 21, 2013

    The advent of smart phones has unfortunately made us un-smart. I’ve had friends coming over to my place and asking me the password of the wi-fi so that they can surf at my home πŸ™‚ Not that I mind them using the wi-fi, but I think spending quality time with people has reduced drastically. Life revolves around FB and other social media, especially when you are talking about an incident and someone says, “Oh ! I read about this on FB, Wait let me show you”. And they actually search for the post and show it to you!
    P.S. No one takes the hint even when the wi-fi password is changed every time πŸ˜›

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Gosh! I’m appalled at people asking about wi-fi when they come to visit you, Pratibha. Why not stay and home, I wonder! πŸ˜‰

  31. Alka Gurha Alka Gurha August 21, 2013

    People are getting obsessed with their smartphones. As a result virtual friends are getting more attention even in the presence of real ones. And a friend who is a sub editor of a local newspaper has Lungi Dance as her ring tune, so I really don’t know what o say. LOL.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Haha..the Lungi Dance takes the cake, Alka! What is one supposed to do when her phone rings? πŸ˜›

  32. Cathy Graham Cathy Graham August 21, 2013

    Love this, Corinne and I totally agree that people are downright rude and insensitive when using their phones. And they endanger their lives and others while driving which is the worst thing of all. It’s sad that it’s come to this point where we don’t communicate face to face the way we used to and the phone has taken precedence. Something has definitely been lost.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Thanks for a great prompt that set me off on this, Cathy! πŸ˜‰

  33. Deepa Deepa August 21, 2013

    Bang on, Corinne! I recently found out that there’s even a term for it. Phubbing! Phone + Snubbing = Phubbing! And yes, it makes me want to get up, wrench the phone out from the hands of the person doing it and throw it out the window or into a swimming pool or under a truck! Extremely irritating!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | August 27, 2013

      Phubbing? Now that’s a new one, Deepa. But I can see how that would fit some people to a T.

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