Have you ever watched Judge Judy in action? If you haven’t,  you must. It’s a TV reality show in which the Judge rules on small claim disputes and arbitration matters.

judge judy
What I love about Judge Judy is that her bull**** meter is set to ‘0’! That pretty much is the number mine is reaching too. Unfortunately, it’s considered rude to tell people that that their words and actions are a load of c***. Also, most people are not really ready to hear that, are they?

So I ask:

Can I Be Judge Judy For A Day?

Here are some examples of situations in my life and how I’d like to respond using a Judy-ism. 

  • To the neighbour who ‘borrowed’ soil from our housing colony’s garden and then abused the conservancy staff for objecting, telling them that they didn’t know who he was, I want to say : ” You ought to be ashamed of yourself !”
  • To the person who pretends that her deceased father was a saint, when I have witnessed how his actions affected her life and marriage and how in the final days of her father’s life she all but abandoned him, I want to say: “If it doesn’t make sense, it’s not true.”
  • To that vain person who is always wondering about what people will think of her appearance, I want to say: “My grandmother always told me; beauty fades, but dumb is forever.”
  • To the relative who visits my brother next door, but says that he doesn’t want to visit us because he might disturb us, I want to say: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”
  • To the person who is always causing trouble by reporting different versions of the same story to different people, I want to say: “I think you ought to be quiet. You know, they don’t need anybody stirring up the pot. You’re a pot-stirrer.”

I would also love to use some of these Judy-isms soon:

“I’m here because I’m smart, not because I’m young and gorgeous…. although I am!”
“…I eat morons like you for breakfast. You’re gonna be crying before this is over.”
“I don’t care what you think! I’M the one who has to make a determination
what is fair.”
“Do you know when a gift becomes a loan? When the relationship is over. Have you ever heard that, sir? Well, neither have I. I just made it up. I’m going to put it on coffee mugs.”
“On your BEST day you’re not as smart as I am on my worst day”
“Ay! QUIET!”
“If you live to be a hundred you will never be as smart as me”

Are there situations and people in your life that move you to feel like playing Judge Judy? 😉

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