I have something to tell you, my inner critic -I have given you a name. I call you Cassius – after the character in Shakespeare’s, Julius Caesar. Why? Because Cassius had a major role in getting Brutus to kill Caesar. That’s exactly the role you’ve been playing in my life. You keep encouraging me to kill my creativity.

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You, Cassius, are insidious, subtle and wily. You find various ways of telling me that I’m not good enough a writer. You creep into my mind and make me compare myself to others.

Over the years, it’s not just my writing you’ve attacked, but my choices, my personality and my self-esteem. You’ve got your ever-willing workers who are happy to convey your messages to me. Someone subtly questioning my behaviour, another one questioning my choices, the third telling me to get my head out of the clouds.

But your biggest weapon, that works almost every time with someone like me, is to get another person to say they need me. Off I go to ‘rescue’ them, always putting their need before my own. Putting their gifts, before mine. To paraphrase Julia Cameron, I have ‘squandered my own creative energies by investing disproportionately in the lives, hopes, dreams and plans of others’.

Not anymore, Cassius. You can kick and scream, throw a tantrum and tell me I’m selfish. I’ll just cock a snook at you and go on my merry creative way.  I’ve given into you and your vassals for too long.

It’s time to claim my mojo back.  It’s time for me to nurture my creative spirit.

I have something to tell you, Cassius: Be gone!

 

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda
Photo Credit: TheTruthAbout via Compfight cc

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