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Comparison The Thief of Joy

Welcome to the Blog Hop – Comparison The Thief of Joy? where bloggers from all over the world are invited to share their ideas about Theodore Roosevelt’s quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Do you agree of disagree with Teddy’s POV? Please share your unique perspective.

There are 3 easy steps to join the Blog Hop:

1. Follow the instructions for submitting your entry using the Linky provided below – remember to copy and paste the link to your specific ‘comparison’ post, not just your blog, into the Linky.

2. Copy and paste the following announcement (with links) into the intro to your blog post:
Linking in to the Comparison Blog Hop on Dangerous Linda and Everyday Gyaan.

3. Be sure to read and comment on other bloggers’ posts in the hop. It’s a great way to get to know each other and expand our cyber-community of awesome writers and thinkers.

Comparison The Thief of Joy

the punk & the conehead

If you’re unlucky, it starts even before you’re born. “My last pregnancy was so much easier”, mourns the mother. Or if you’re her first child, “But my sister didn’t get this sick. This baby is giving me a hard time.”

Then you are born. And they come in droves to see you. “Oh my doesn’t she look just like Cousin Anabelle.”  “No, no can’t you see her nose is just like Grandma Nancy’s!”  “Fourteen hours of labor? You didn’t have to wait so long with Terry, did you?” “He keeps you up all night? My baby sleeps like an angel at night.”  If there are no siblings or cousins to compare you with there’s always Dr Spock‘s babies who can be used as a yardstick for your growth or lack of it.

You start to grow. “Lola stop fidgeting. Can’t you see how quietly your brother is sitting?”  “Anirudh, you really should stop drinking milk from a bottle. Look at your cousin Satish. He’s only three and he drinks  from a cup.”

Now comes school and with it a whole new set of children to compare you with. “You got 73/100 for your test? Shame on you – see how well Mrs Choudhary’s daughter does.”  “Why do I keep getting complaints about you from the teacher? Mala’s teachers always praise her.” Even the teachers get into the act. “You’re Nalini’s cousin? She was an angel, you’re a devil!”

After a while you learn to start doing it to yourself. You are constantly measuring your height against your sister’s. You improve your grades in school, but you’re not happy because you wish you had the same grades as your friend, Sharon. You gradually start skipping meals because you want to lose weight so you can look like Andrea. You start to work out at the gym, pushing yourself to exhaustion, because you want to develop muscles to look just like Salman Khan!

You stop feeling good about the way you look, because you wish you looked like a movie star. You stop trying to work on your talents, because you’ll never be as good as…..You stop enjoying achievements because you’re always wishing you had done better than your friend. You want to be better dressed than……. You want to be richer than……. You want to travel more than………. You want to sing just like……. You forget that all you have to be the best YOU.  It goes on and on. The cycle of comparison….

Is comparison the thief of joy? Need I say more?

Now I’m off to see Dangerous Linda’s post on the subject, so I can compare ūüėČ (I’m also linking in to Blogelina today.)

May you be inspired – every day!

195 Comments

  1. comparison:“thief of joy?” blog hop » DANGEROUS LINDA comparison:“thief of joy?” blog hop » DANGEROUS LINDA January 29, 2013

    […] Follow the instructions for submitting your entry using the linky provided below or at Everyday Gyaan ‚ÄĒ remember to copy and paste the link to your specific ‚Äėcomparison‚Äô blog post, not just your […]

  2. Jadelouisedesigns Jadelouisedesigns March 11, 2012

    I agree with that statement! When you compare with others, you lose the treasure and blessing that you have right in front of you! a 73/100!? Congrats, as long as they did their best, that could be a huge improvement from their previous efforts!  Besides if your child hears you comparing them, it breaks down their self confidence and then they put less effort into everything they do. It steals joy they may have had in themselves. 

  3. Heather Heather March 10, 2012

    Wow, your post really got me thinking about this.  I am guilty of saying many of these things to my son on a regular basis.  At the time it seems like an easy way to help him understand what I mean.  However, I will have to re-think this.

  4. Wendy Wendy March 9, 2012

    I’m so guilty of comparing myself to others. ¬†ūüôĀ ¬†However, I don’t really compare my kids or anything like that…they are totally different and love them just the way the are. ¬†ūüôā

    Wendy

    Around My Family
    Table

  5. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 9, 2012

    So true,¬†@0785ec8324737a7112bf8e506b262399:disqus¬† that often we don’t realize what we are doing to ourselves or others by comparing.

  6. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 9, 2012

    @3411c973cd7ff38d66af0c2221f966ad:disqus  Not completely, as you will read in the posts of the other bloggers on the hop.

  7. Busy Mom on the Go Busy Mom on the Go March 9, 2012

    I think it is.¬† I think that we spend so much time trying to keep up with the Jones’ that we forget about how to be happy within our own lives.¬† Brenda and I have devoted our blog to families.¬† We share family-friendly tips, recipes, craft projects and activities as an attempt to bring the bond of family closer for everyone.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 9, 2012

      @twitter-407448740:disqus  I agree we sometimes spend too much time on negatively comparing ourselves that we forget to be grateful for all we have.

  8. Tiffany Tiffany March 8, 2012

    Teddy had it right!

  9. Stacie Stacie March 8, 2012

    Very true! It’s hard to not compare, but I try very hard not to. Sometimes you don’t even realize what you are doing. Thanks for this post, gives me a lot to think about!

  10. LaVonne LaVonne March 8, 2012

    I recently read an article about blogging and not comparing your own successes to others. It was a great post that can be applied to life. Thanks for sharing this quote with us. I agree with it for sure.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 9, 2012

      I often am guilty of comparing my blog @lavonnelong:disqus . Thank you for stopping by.

  11. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    @91cabce1acf8db6f3de48ca4ccce49ac:disqus¬† I’d invite you to look at the other posts on this hop – they’re more balanced than mine ūüėČ

  12. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    @c3d123aa49b6a7e165bef545c7c305b4:disqus¬† – been there, done that. It’s a hard habit to break.¬†

  13. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    Thanks¬†@49221cfe0abd0e4c7359348cd721ae47:disqus¬†. As many of the other bloggers on the hop have pointed out, comparison has it’s good points too. But when we direct in a negative way it becomes a thief of joy.

  14. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    @746661f620c9abc7976dfd206fc3ffbd:disqus¬†I’m sure it’s real tough for mothers not to compare. But do they have to let their kids know about it, is the question. ūüôā

  15. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    @593cf65e2ad20909aa0520d9cda54914:disqus  Рas you said learning to be grateful and content with who we are and what we have is key to being joyful.

  16. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    That’s a good one¬†@3ab7d39ce3f9850f6c5c04d96465fb6f:disqus¬† and so true! Thanks for stopping by.

  17. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    Yes we never do know what’s going on with someone else ¬†do we,¬†@d3f7f7c04a37f94a10b08474fa0141b6:disqus¬†? Thanks for your comment.

  18. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

    Yes, it’s that kind of comparison that can eat us up¬†@573b29c29bcbdc194eb4e335f8191312:disqus¬†…I’m learning not to do it to myself!

  19. Punam J R Punam J R March 8, 2012

    Hi Corinne, I am composing a post with ‘gyaan’ from all the contributors collated and presented for a treasure trove of inspiration. I will submit that after the blog hop ends. ūüôā Would you include it here? ūüôā

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks, Punam. Would love to see the post – do mail it to me and we’ll discuss how to present it here.¬†

  20. Dawn Storey Dawn Storey March 8, 2012

    I struggle with the comparison issue – I might be perfectly happy with something I’ve done, but then I see something someone else has done and suddenly my effort is horrible! Definitely the thief of joy.

  21. Sarah Sarah March 8, 2012

    So true. Stopping the comparison game is a constant struggle though!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      It is @49221cfe0abd0e4c7359348cd721ae47:disqus . Thanks for stopping by.

  22. AllieRambles AllieRambles March 8, 2012

    I am a firm believer that everyone has a gift.  And that all gifts are equal.  I never compare people because of this. 

    Now I am more than willing to compare ice cream… hee hee.

    ~Allie

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Very wise¬†@AllieRambles:disqus¬†. ¬†About the ice cream I’m afraid you can’t compare with me – I can’t have any ūüėČ

  23. mommetime mommetime March 8, 2012

    excellent delivery… something about seeing words in black and white! I will be paying closer attention with my kids. I’d like to say that I don’t say those things to them, but now I’m not so certain. Just recently my oldest daughter during art time or after an activity which I liked better her’s or her sisters.¬† I’ve been wondering what has prompted her to start doing that… hmm. will pay close attention. Thank you for this… wonderful job!¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks, Amy. I don’t know where kids pick this up from sometimes, no matter how careful we are. I loved your post on this subject so authentic and meaningful.¬†

  24. Carrie Carrie March 8, 2012

    Comparisons can be both good and bad.  Once we had twins, I learned not to compare.  Our twins are so incredibly different, and it sure would be unfair to compare them to each other.  Thanks for such a thought-provoking post!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Ah then I wasn’t too wrong with my choice of an image was I,¬†@openid-130497:disqus¬†? I can see how it would be so easy to compare twins but yet each of them are so unique.

  25. Clarinda Clarinda March 8, 2012

    Yes  it does rob your joy. I know I looked at other and thought that they were cool/good looking/better but never wanted to be them. They have problems in their lives too. They may be rich but they also could be lonely. They maybe pretty but could be abused. They could be smart but be homeless. You are where you are for a reason and there is no need to compare.

  26. Lisa Lisa March 8, 2012

    So true! I remember hearing¬† a frugal mom say that you are never tired of your wordrobe until you’re at the mall!!
    :)Lisa

  27. Measuring Up Measuring Up March 8, 2012

    […] Linking in to the Comparison¬†Blog Hop on¬†Dangerous Linda & Everyday Gyaan […]

  28. Jamie English Jamie English March 8, 2012

    So very true! ¬† ¬†I am often comparing myself to others and feeling yuck. ¬†But you know what? ¬†It depends on the spirit of the comparison. ¬†I come at it from a self hatred point of view (I am working on this) and think I’m not as thin as or as pretty as or as smart as or….you get the picture. ¬†I have been in a few circles in my life and it was often helpful to feel normalized. ¬†I am a counselor and sometimes my work is hard for various reasons and it helps to talk to other counselors who are struggling with similar issues, because when I compare to them, I feel like I’m ok….I’m normal. ¬†Perhaps it needs to come with a balance. ¬†Finding camaraderie with others who share things you have in common but always balanced with a healthy sense of self and “I’m good enough.” ¬†Thought provoking post….thanks!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @google-b260386afad48d861b53cdd097832f17:disqus¬† – you’re very right – it all depends on the spirit of it. ¬†Thank you for your comment.

  29. Kathy (Kangaroo Mama) Kathy (Kangaroo Mama) March 8, 2012

    Teddy was right, it is the thief of joy! ¬†Couldn’t have put it better! ¬†We totally hate being compared but we do it all the time in all aspects of our lives. ¬†I look at someone’s blog and like their design, layout, writing style, content, pictures, and giveaways more. ¬†I get jealous of SAHM and WAHMs because I am a WOHM. ¬†I compare myself to other married women and all their travels, material things, etc and it steals away from me living MY life to the fullest! ¬†I am learning daily to try to be content with what I have and not look with greedy eyes at the lives of others and to not let life slip by me while I keep thinking about how my life isn’t as “good as others.” ¬†Thank you for sharing this! ¬†

  30. Kkagele Kkagele March 7, 2012

    Having 4 kids and try not to compare child #1 to #2 or #4 to #1 is hard.  But like you said everyone is special in their own way.

  31. Sarah Sarah March 7, 2012

    Wise words. I hadn’t even thought of how it starts before we’re even born but you’re right. Will try to compare less and enjoy more!

  32. Tracy Tracy March 7, 2012

    Needed this today! As I work on more patience with my middle child, I need to stop comparing her to her completely different (not better) brother. Though I do not say it out loud, I think it often. Thanks for reminding me not to give my joy away by comparing. 

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @8225b0d3ff3cd33147e3dd37f020eb10:disqus¬† – I’m glad this was timely for you. I think when we compare negatively we forget to value a person’s uniqueness.¬†

  33. homemaidsimple homemaidsimple March 7, 2012

    The statement can definitely be true! But if we look at comparison through a different light, and try to become better people it can be good. I think it’s just a matter of attitude on how we take those comparisons. I see someone I want to be like, and instead of dwelling on how I can never be like them, I strive to do what I can to make myself a better person, and then be happy with the results!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      I absolutely agree with you@homemaidsimple:disqus . I chose to take one side of it for the purpose of argument on the blog hop. Thanks for your comments. 

  34. See You In the Garden See You In the Garden March 7, 2012

    Comparision is a bad habit that I catch myself falling into too often.  It only leads me to a deeper funk than when I started.

  35. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    Oh my,¬†@5b35f93f642839473ee51fd2f22bcb25:disqus¬†that’s quite a story. ¬†Glad you’re over it!¬†¬†

  36. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    That’s so not fair¬†@ddeebd504ed71aacb728a54288d0b213:disqus¬†. Poor you!

  37. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    It does have it’s place¬†@11544ede9a9b500adb16734c70982084:disqus¬† and we must know how to use it.¬†

  38. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    So true @46a45e9b20c0c25f88442fbb90a25388:disqus . Thanks for sharing.

  39. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    @0715d6842f727fa8e65b99a13e85e0e7:disqus  I we all need to stop comparing ourselves negatively.

  40. Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

    And you shall¬†@cfdc1a97acdef88975891f11ca17a48c:disqus¬† ūüôā

  41. Robin Robin March 7, 2012

    I’ve a split mind on comparison. On one level, I want to know where my work fits in a context. On another, I don’t want to look only at how my work measures up against others’.¬†

  42. Suzy Suzy March 7, 2012

    Yes, I’ll agree it can be the thief of joy. ¬†Unless of course you come out on top. ¬†

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    suzy

  43. Danielle Johnson Danielle Johnson March 7, 2012

    Comparison is such a hard thing, not just when comparing kids, but when we compare our lives to others.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Yes¬†@google-5d9433ed028c40f1060a107a95b448c0:disqus¬† it can hurt us bad. But like other ‘hoppers’ have pointed out, it has it’s place too.¬†

  44. Michelle Michelle March 7, 2012

    LOL we women are so hard to get along with.  I have a twin sister and this comparison drove her out of state to college.  Thankfully we are pretty much over it.  I think!

  45. Laurie Laurie March 7, 2012

    I spent the first 12 years of my life being called by my sisters name.  even by teachers.  I so understand.

  46. Melinda Melinda March 7, 2012

    It’s true . . . comparison can be very detrimental.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      It can be good too @e05b236a9167c655bb15c8b6cb893069:disqus as other hoppers have pointed out. 

  47. Becca Becca March 7, 2012

    Comparison certainly can rob us of joy. It’s rather similar to how our envy can lead to discontentment…

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      So right @b462ced12fa627deb243273eb7965e07:disqus comparison in this context is very draining.

  48. Bella Bella March 7, 2012

    Corinne, you have aptly described how most women come to think of themselves as time wears on. I read¬† your post and thought, except for the names, Corinne could very well be writing about me! I had a wonderful childhood. I can even say I loved high school, but there was one aspect that seemed to sour things for me: comparison. It robbed the joy of every activity, all the way from cheerleading to dances. I can’t remember one time when my friends and I weren’t sizing each other up to see who looked better, thinner, was more popular, had the most boyfriends. If I could turn back time, I’d refuse to engage in such a shallow and ridiculous pursuit. Instead, I would invest more in me, fortifying my spirit and developing my creativity. That’s what I’d do! Thank you for hosting this blog hop and for allowing me to be a part of it! I loved participating! ūüôā

    • Bella Bella March 7, 2012

      ¬†I know I had already commented but I had a little more to say and after the event, I wanted so much to express how much I enjoyed participating! ūüôā

      • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

        @b5cdf907b62a9caa484ca317cc739b3b:disqus  Рyou know how much you always add to my life ♥

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      So true,¬†@b5cdf907b62a9caa484ca317cc739b3b:disqus¬†…I think I wasted too much time on comparisons too and didn’t take enough of changes and try out more things. Thanks for sharing.

  49. Happydealhappyday Happydealhappyday March 7, 2012

    I think comparison is inevitable.  It has its places, but yes, it can steal joy!

  50. Marian Marian March 7, 2012

    Sometimes it’s hard to love yourself when you always compare yourself to others.

  51. Yannie Yannie March 7, 2012

    I agree with you. And sad to say I’m always comparing myself to others making me feel disappointed.

  52. Tonya Tonya March 7, 2012

    I definitely agree! Think I will be a bit more mindful of this habit now………I want to live in JOY!

  53. HomeJobsbyMOM HomeJobsbyMOM March 6, 2012

    I guess I am lucky I am an only child and had no sibling to be compared to. Although I think I would of rather had a sibling. I always wanted one! I do often compare myself to other people a lot and have a need to be accepted but some of it stems from having an alcoholic mother. Anywho. Makes you think!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I’d take comparisons over not having siblings any day¬†@HomeJobsbyMOM:disqus¬†. I think being part of a dysfunctional unit makes it easy for us to have low self-esteem which causes us to negatively compare ourselves.¬†

  54. Rimly Bezbaruah Rimly Bezbaruah March 6, 2012

    How true! I was lucky that way, was never compared with my brother who is just a year younger to me but I know of so many who are still scarred by all the comparisons their parents made with thier siblings or friends.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @7c04a3c7aa85123a82fb23d2b69990bf:disqus¬†– it’s very rare for Indian parents not to compare their kids to each other and worse still with their friends’ children!¬†

  55. Just Jaime Just Jaime March 6, 2012

    I have really been trying to realize that comparing even my last job to my current job will steal my joy. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      That happens to all of us from time to time @456e982406992d28adfaf351a62ad5cc:disqus . 

  56. Erin Erin March 6, 2012

    You are so right!  I am still in the process of trying to stop comparing myself to others and to by content with what I am/what I have.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Wishing you good luck on this journey @4657863349ba76cd5431e2ea86e7108a:disqus 

  57. Britni Britni March 6, 2012

    As a mother I’ve had to remind myself not to fall into this trap. Yes, our daughter isn’t the best sleeper. But she is a fabulous eater. She may be a little (a lot!) hyper but she is very smart. If I focused on where she fell short of her peers I’d never see how special she really is ūüôā

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      That’s great¬†@ab223657000671a55f8dcf97389b8ae3:disqus¬†. When we highlight the positives and coach the kids of out the negative behavior we get better results.

  58. Jamie Ostby Jamie Ostby March 6, 2012

    I am so guilty of this both for comparing myself and my children. Thank you for drawing awareness to this I need to make conscious effort to improve it.

  59. Daily Citron Daily Citron March 5, 2012

    I agree that comparisons can be damaging to self-esteem.¬† I’ll have to keep this in mind as I parent my daughter.
    -Viva recently posted Homemade Pizza Dough

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @65280fad153f037da8615912a91b93f4:disqus  РI think all parents must be conscious of it. 

  60. Kerry Fountain Kerry Fountain March 5, 2012

    We have struggled with this in our family– because of my mother in law.¬† She compares our children to her other grandchildren with ours never meet her expectations or are as good as her others.¬† So we have distanced ourselves from them- and my poor hubby has to deal with her complaining that we don’t like her.¬†
    I love my children for who they are– not who I would like them to be!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @openid-130134:disqus¬†thanks for sharing. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Some people have just the knack of making themselves unhappy – she’s the loser here.

  61. Blond Duck Blond Duck March 5, 2012

    So lovely!  We all need to be reminded of this!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks for coming by @e40804e65432fb313e858f52ae59238f:disqus 

  62. Jeanette Jeanette March 5, 2012

    Great idea for a blog hop ūüôā

  63. Mary Mary March 5, 2012

    Comparison can be trumped with thankfulness ūüôā

  64. Shelly Shelly March 5, 2012

    I hate to compare with anyone. But it does happen and it just makes me unhappy. So I try not to compare with others as it is better for everyone.  I just try to be happy with what I have and not worry about others.

  65. Mrs. Accountability Mrs. Accountability March 5, 2012

    I was the oldest so my younger siblings were compared to me.¬† I never realized this until they told me when we were adults about how the teachers would always expect so much out of them because I’d been in the class ahead of them.¬† They said it was quite a lot to live up to my reputation. I had no idea.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Your poor siblings¬†@3bd9ce568795c832a25eed5ea9bb744d:disqus¬†….Fortunately I had two older brothers and we were in different schools ūüėČ

  66. Emily Emily March 5, 2012

     Oh my, how true!  I try really hard not to compare my children, but it can be hard.  I need to be careful.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @79d4896c835f311eb62c196d6ef7adfc:disqus¬†– it’s natural to compare, but what we do with the information is what’s important.

  67. Onesleepymom Onesleepymom March 5, 2012

    Yes, I agree.¬† Comparison is the thief of joy.¬† My goal is to be the best I can be.¬† And that isn’t superwoman.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @3d466ff20b772ae947c1b28527823c9a:disqus РEnjoy being you! 

  68. Kristin Hodnett Kristin Hodnett March 5, 2012

    I’ve never heard this quote before, but it is a great one! I try to remember to be the best ME I can be – no one can beat me at that.

  69. Angela Bell Angela Bell March 5, 2012

    You can’t go around comparing yourself to others.¬† that’s just another problem brewing. Great post and I love the insight you have.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Thanks so much, @google-409aaef6da1fd5efa6eb1ccc04402217:disqus 

  70. Eleni Poulakou Eleni Poulakou March 5, 2012

    Pretty interesting subject for a blog hop — you must have had some good reads.

    What about comparison leading people not to feel inferior, but superior? This is self-conceit, and as much a thief of joy as the feeling of inferiority.

    I think comparison might be a good thing, if one is to perceive the distance that separates him from his ideal as a motive for further improvement — without any feeling of failure. It’s not easy – but it can be done.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Comparison making one feel superior? Interesting¬†@3c61b5a92ad72c9e8bd94c1604ad4135:disqus¬†…Yes, comparison can be a good thing too, if used wisely.

  71. Wendy Kissinger- Horning Wendy Kissinger- Horning March 5, 2012

    In the way that you describe comparison, I couldnt agree with you more.  This post was also an excellent reminder to caretakers of lil souls that we need to be mindful of the words we choose and super careful to not make comparisons. 
    As comarison as a whole, I respectfully disagree in that I think there are some ways comparison is a useful tool (which I stated in my post) for encouraging successful, positive behavior. 

    Thank you for the opportunity to blog hop here today! 

    Be blessed wildly, 
    wendy 

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks so much @google-eefb5f282648d0f138a3c891cb51d989:disqus . I loved your post and agree with you that comparison can be very useful too. I was just taking one side of the argument. Thanks for participating and adding so much to this hop.

  72. CouponDivaAndi CouponDivaAndi March 5, 2012

    BEAUTIFUL job on the article – VERY well-written….. ūüėÄ

  73. Sweepy Jean Sweepy Jean March 5, 2012

    I can definitely understand your point, Corinne. Comparison can definitely prevent us from seeing the beauty of uniqueness in others and ourselves. Thanks for helping to foster this discussion.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks @facebook-100000588465044:disqus . It did to me for a long time. 

  74. Brett Martin Brett Martin March 5, 2012

    i think everything in moderation- constant comparison is not a good thing.  but in moderation?  yes.  it gives us things to strive towards (or against)

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Absolutely agree¬†@facebook-684068159:disqus¬†. ‘In moderation’ can be applied to a lot of things ūüėČ

  75. Amanda Chambers Amanda Chambers March 5, 2012

    I agree that comparing yourself to others can be¬†detrimental, but I’m not sure it’s something we can stop doing. We’re surrounded by other people, and we’re constantly comparing things to determine which is best for our life, wether it’s which book we want to read right now, or which house we want to buy. ¬†It’s a natural (if not healthy) extension to compare people, as well. Very thought-provoking post.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @twitter-334696195:disqus I appreciate your thoughts. I took one side of the argument. We can use comparison to grow and compare our own circumstances to the past too. 

  76. Kecia Kecia March 5, 2012

    I’ve never thought about it, but after hearing that quote, I believe Mr. Roosevelt was right on the money. Comparing your life to others can really suck any happiness out of you.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Thanks for your comment,¬†@cedda1c1908ae48f17e118ad3c4e248e:disqus¬†. I’m not completely sure he’s right. Read the other side of the argument on the other blogs linked in to this hop ūüôā

  77. Nikki Nikki March 4, 2012

    I try not to compare myself to others, but sometimes I can’t help it. She’s skinnier, he’s smarter, blah blah blah. It’s a rotten thing to do to yourself, and I’m working to put a stop to it. I am me, and I’m happy to be me!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      So glad that you are you,¬†@fe31537173cf371961d9584be0f47625:disqus¬†….I used to compare myself before, but I’ve given up.

  78. MommiesPointofReview MommiesPointofReview March 4, 2012

    You know I never did this with my kids and no one else did it with the either but I do it with my blog all the time and it is just crazy as I want to be in the popular crowd yet I see myself standing in the backyard. I hate it. But I can not seem to stop.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I think many of us bloggers are guilty of this @9a403918b2ae1ab2426c9e740cd8ca86:disqus . However, if we use comparison to improve our writing and blogging Рit can be a powerful tool too. 

  79. Bikram Bikram March 4, 2012

    Oh boy.. suddenly my whole life flashed by, comparisons comparisons .. how i hate them.. My mum are six sisters so there was always a comparison how their son or daughter is so good in studies .. or in painting and tons of others things ..

    The only good thing when it came to sports I bet my MUM had her moment too of comparisons with a smile For I was very good in that .. so i use to wait all year long for those 3 days of sports days..  or the interhouse  or inter public school hockey matches ..

    Bikram’s

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Oh I know what you mean, @28bb1dd2e5ea1178c0337764dc525ffd:disqus . Large families can do it for us sometimes!

  80. Punam Punam March 4, 2012

    Very true, Corinne..
    I have written something similar and what else comparison brings into our lives… ¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      Thanks for your post @c49ed33bbebc1e10053f0d56c36523c9:disqus Рit was good.

  81. Anjanette Anjanette March 4, 2012

    We are all so unique – even in our strengths and weaknesses – that it just doesn’t make sense to compare ourselves to anyone else. Even if there is someone worthy of emulating in one way, they are still human and have plenty of negative traits themselves.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      It’s important to learn to enjoy being You – but the journey to it is not always easy,¬†@0fe1efa64642b14a89ff1e9eb2bb0c13:disqus¬†. Thanks for stopping by.

  82. Katie Katie March 4, 2012

    Oh how I love a good quote! Yes comparison can be a thief of joy. I really try not to compare myself or my family against others but every once in awhile it happens. It’s just something that has almost been taught for us to do.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I just took one side of the argument¬†@ae082e5fe241d4a71b4e93506477af89:disqus¬†. We can use comparison in a positive way too as many other ‘hoppers’ share.¬†

  83. Julie Julie March 4, 2012

    You sure made a case for your side of the argument.  I agree.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I hope you can read the other sides of the argument too, @b226625020c319a1ccf4e819f1744bd9:disqus . 

  84. Katy Katy March 4, 2012

    My husband’s a big fan of Teddy Roosevelt, but I never knew that was his quote. Fun idea linking up and comparing…or not comparing. I’m going to follow on Twitter!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      We’re now not sure it’s his quote¬†@2f4ba375c86193cacbba6395ab56df48:disqus¬† ūüėČ ¬†Thanks for following. You’ll find some great posts on this hop.¬†

  85. Judith Judith March 3, 2012

    I guess we all do it. We see that someone has an easier time than us, and feel sorry for ourselves. But you shouldn’t compare just one event, you should see the bigger picture and then often, things look very different! ¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      So true¬†@09b758f7a852e499f2649782b9331b23:disqus¬†– we often don’t see the whole picture.¬†

  86. Carolynn Carolynn March 3, 2012

    I am terrible at comparing myself to others and I always have been.¬† I’m slowly starting to change, but I’ve been finding it difficult.¬† I do believe that comparison steals joy! ¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I think we all do this at some point in life,¬†@aac303b040c60a9e0aa3a3dfeb245e33:disqus¬†….I used to, too. When I stopped comparing myself negatively, I felt much freer to be me.

  87. Comparison: The Thief of Joy? {A Blog Hop} Comparison: The Thief of Joy? {A Blog Hop} March 3, 2012

    […] Linking in to the Comparison Blog Hop on Dangerous Linda and Everyday Gyaan. […]

  88. Jill Jill March 3, 2012

    Comparison is also necessary so we have something to measure ourselves against. ¬†I remember a part of the Dalai Lama’s autobiography that really stuck with me. He wrote about growing up as the only child amongst all his adult teachers. ¬†One time he had another child joined him for lessons for a short while and he wrote about how much he enjoyed seeing what the other child could do – and being able to have some kind of benchmark to compare himself against.Not in a bad way, or and I’m better or worse than you way – but we all like to feel part of a group and not alone. ¬†
    Comparison is necessary but does not have to be competitive and detrimental.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @6a06231f7cd6e1df564d49506f79cf63:disqus¬†– thanks for sharing. I loved this story. And it’s a great example of ‘good’ comparison. As you will see I just took one side and¬†@DangerousLinda:disqus¬†the other.¬†

  89. Rachel & Pokey Rachel & Pokey March 3, 2012

    I’m a twin.¬† I’ve always been compared to at least one person.¬† It’s not that people don’t appreciate each of us for who we are, but they just can’t help comparing us because we shared the womb.¬† I don’t think there’s a black and white answer… some people can handle comparisons and just feel they are learning about people, but for many the comparison experience is difficult and damaging.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      It must be harder for twins, I think, Rachel. Like most things in life there is no black and white answer. I think the intention of the comparison is what counts. 

  90. Jillcook27a Jillcook27a March 3, 2012

    Love the baby pictures so cute

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Hoping you read the post too, @cc94b233dc22ed6729d2adf0ab2a6367:disqus 

  91. Starlene Starlene March 3, 2012

    When you put it that way, I think you are right, comparison is the thief of joy. ¬† I didn’t really compare my children to each other because my oldest had Down Syndrome, so we took it for granted that he would be unique in his own way.¬† It definitely allowed for us to enjoy his milestones as they took significantly longer than for our second born.¬† Thanks for the food for thought, Corinne.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @f404935938e38d51edf6da24edf90d03:disqus¬† this is just one way of looking at it. And I can see why it was so hard for you to compare your children. If you look further up the comments you’ll see a mom (@befa2dfeef799a6c6ca6f97264045c68:disqus¬†) who had the same issues.

  92. melissatandoc melissatandoc March 3, 2012

    I got your point Corinne. I was looking at your image of twins and even with that image, I could understand your point. However, we focus so much on the act of comparing that it becomes a thief of joy. I do believe it has good points. At the other side, I understand how human psyche work the way you have described it. It could exhaust one’s energy on trying to keep up or be like someone…

    Thanks for the reflections you shared here.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @melissatandoc:disqus Thank you for your lovely and most unique post that you shared on this hop. Yes, comparison can be for good, if we want it to be so.

  93. Ddeirdre Ddeirdre March 2, 2012

    It is so true isn’t it? my post is similar, although more related to money. When we compare our lives we can never be content.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I loved your post @fc910175fc8418317beb6d5af95c2259:disqus and the choices you are making. 

  94. Never a Dull Day in Poland Never a Dull Day in Poland March 2, 2012

    I have been blessed to live in 5 different countries in the last 20 years so I have compared our lives to others from around the world and well, us in the USA do not know how good we have it!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      Ah that’s so true,¬†@openid-129939:disqus¬†…I live in India and it’s not easy to take things for granted when you see poverty staring you in the face.¬†

  95. Deedra Hickman Deedra Hickman March 2, 2012

    I’ve never compared my kids to each other – at least not out loud. ¬†They are so very different.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I’m so glad when Moms do that. Thanks for stopping by,¬†@google-5124c9fcebeb4dd07ba8d646d5f86372:disqus¬†

  96. Easy2save Easy2save March 2, 2012

    I like to compare things but not in a negative way.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      I understand, @0ca165d636a387c1a603bda3d87f8075:disqus . Thanks for dropping by.

  97. Angie Nelson Angie Nelson March 2, 2012

    Hi, Corinne. I firmly believe comparison can suck the life right out of you. 

  98. Nicoleican Nicoleican March 2, 2012

    Your description is so true. You tell it in a funny way. I remembered every time they used to tell me i was a true copy of my grand mother, how i used too be upset and cry. Now i can see it as a compliment as she was a beautiful lady, but a child can’t really understand that!
    Parents who compare their children to others create jealousy, but it is even worst when they compare their child with what they were at the same age, because at that point, they are destroying the child’s self confidence. A child always want to please his parents, he can compete with a friend or a brother, but he can’t compete with what his father was many years ago.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @5a574457eaecfb2fc0a9b161a9871273:disqus¬†I can see why a child wouldn’t like to be compared to an adult. And oh yes, some adults love to tell tall tales of their many achievements when they were their child’s age. As you said, no one can compete with a memory ūüėČ

  99. Irene Irene March 2, 2012

    Corinne I feel like you’re telling about my story. I learned so much from my own personal experience. And if one day I get married and have kids, I’ll do my best not to compare them to others and allow their individual selves to blossom.

    Thank you so much for the wonderful opportunity to share my own views on this subject matter. And thank you for your kind words on my post. ūüôā

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @c287b3672674d28d3a5b4cd2c6cd270c:disqus¬† – thank you for your most authentic sharing in your post on the hop. I can see how negative comparison cost you a lot. We must allow everyone to be themselves, mustn’t we? ūüôā

  100. Totsymae Totsymae March 2, 2012

    It can go either way, I think, considering the personalities involved. I think it’s inspiring, while someone else may be envious.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      So true, @146cc92d8056697cd7864f80437aacbd:disqus Рit all depends on how we use comparison. Thanks for dropping by Рmuch appreciated.

  101. Comparison: The Thief of Joy Comparison: The Thief of Joy March 2, 2012

    […] Comparison: The Thief of Joy (everydaygyaan.com) Rate this: Share this:Like this:Like8 bloggers like this post. This entry was posted in Choices, Emotion, Judgment, Love, Self and tagged Blog Hop Comparison, Children, Family, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. […]

  102. Andy Andy March 2, 2012

    Hello.
    I haven’t got a post for the blog hop. I’m taking a breather from doing staff appraisals to add my two cents.

    We are all imperfect humans and as much as we might try to deny it, we all do comparisons of some sort. Comparison is & can be the thief of joy only if we let it. We were all created equal, but individual. Just think of how boring life would be if we were all the same. We should embrace our uniqueness for being different. I am happy & comfortable being me…the incomparable…the original & handsome poet. LOL! Enjoyed your post. Back to work for me. ūüôĀ
    Thanks for sharing. I’ll try to read the others when I can.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @5c72e9bb39037dc70461da44fd31e577:disqus¬†I’m not even going to compare myself to you ūüėČ ¬†But you’re right comparison will rob us of joy if we let it. Time for us to embrace our uniqueness and revel in it.¬†

  103. Bongo Bongo March 2, 2012

    Your right we are constantly judging ourselves by how well another ..does, looks etc..we are constantly fighting a race instead of excepting who we are,,,rather sad..i wonder how long it will take for mankind to stop running that race and just sit and be happy with themselves….As always ,…XOXOXOXO

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 8, 2012

      @twitter-209308643:disqus Рit is an endless pursuit trying to keep up with the Joneses. 

  104. Debra Elramey Debra Elramey March 2, 2012

    We are on the same wave length Corinne, as my conversation
    is grades too ‚Äď though you cover much more ground here than I. ¬†When will we ever realize (as a society) that each person is uniquely made?¬†

     I see plain and simple
    that you agree that comparison IS the thief of joy.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @google-3d38cb7d9d9e35f57bf9da55324ae303:disqus¬† – I loved how you connected this with education and grades. That is a big issue in India. Young people actually commit suicide over poor grades and the thought of bringing disrepute to their family because of all the comparisons ūüôĀ

  105. Bella Bella March 2, 2012

    Corinne, I’m with you, sister. I believe comparison is detrimental to our feeling satisfied and content with what we have or how we are. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re likely to find differences that usually cause us to feel insecure and sad. I find this also leads to us feeling inadequate and incapable of measuring up to the achievements of others. It’s not to say we have to ban comparison from our lives, but surely it’s something to be avoided when it leaves us feeling¬† like we’re not good enough. I love the idea of a blog hop on this subject! ūüôā

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 7, 2012

      @b5cdf907b62a9caa484ca317cc739b3b:disqus¬†I think what is done to us, becomes something we do to ourselves as we go on in life. I guess we can call it ‘negative’ comparison and ‘positive’ comparison. I’m so happy that you took part in the blog hop, Bella. As always, you have such a wonderfully unique perspective on things. ‚ô•

  106. Myrna Myrna March 1, 2012

    Wow Corinne, you covered so much here. ¬†It’s so true about comparisons, not only thief of joy but giver of grief. ¬†
    I  hope to write something for the blog hop soon.  
    Hugs to you.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      I had to take a side on it, ¬†@fc9207346ed3beae16947fde8b2511b3:disqus¬†But as others have pointed out there’s a good side to comparison if we know how to use it. Loved your post – it was so unique. ‚ô•

  107. Sulekha Sulekha March 1, 2012

    Corinne, we really do ourselves an injustice by comparing ourselves with others. Love your thoughts on this touchy subject. I think you and Linda have chosen a wonderful topic and best of luck for the blog hop.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      @99051b0b74a64b517f5b3e296f8ffcdd:disqus¬† – We do that all the time don’t we? I like your philosophy that you talked about in your post!¬†

  108. Savira Savira March 1, 2012

    Don’t like being compared in any shape or form. I have seen friendships and relationships being destroyed because of this. One can learn so much from our individualism

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      I know comparisons can lead to a lot of problems in relationships¬†@6bada2ad50e9345e54a86ccb672a7a12:disqus¬†….Thanks for sharing your views in your post.¬†

  109. Mary Hudak-Collins Mary Hudak-Collins March 1, 2012

    I grew up being constantly compared to my older sister. ¬†It probably wouldn’t have been bad if we had actually had more in common, but we were like day and night. ¬†I try very hard now, having my own children, to leave the comparisons at the door ‚ėļ

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      Ah, Mary…one of the few times I’m grateful I didn’t have a sister ūüėČ I had two brothers who were older, so it was not bad at all.¬†Thanks for your fabulous post on the topic ‚ô•

  110. Kriti Kriti March 1, 2012

    All that said above is true but ‘bad’ co-exists with ‘good’ in this case. Sometimes comparison can make you do better. Its all how you take it I guess. ¬†In the case of children though – I think it really is the thief of joy.¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      I agree,¬†@fd9379004a62d00f5f54f6e68706e9d8:disqus¬†. We were taking ‘sides’ on the issue and hence I took this side. Yes, children do find it difficult to take comparison and that’s only natura.

  111. G Angela G Angela March 1, 2012

     

    I
    too have had the experience of being compared, and somehow unconsciously I too
    compared my daughter with my son who was a down syndrome child, it was so easy
    for my daughter to do everything on time, for my son it was a challenge, as a
    mother I found difficult to bring in balance to help both of them grow.

    I
    had to constantly justify my actions to my daughter. Now that my son is no
    more, my daughter Dorothy still compares herself with my son Emmanuel, and I keep
    reminding her how lovable and precious she is and not to compare herself with
    her brother.

    Comparison
    definitely robs the joy from our lives, I found whenever I compared myself with
    others, I became sad and unhappy, and whenever I looked into myself and what I have
    to offer, I am filled with gratitude !

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      I’m sure it was hard not to compare and for Dorothy too, she must have constantly felt that Emmanuel was getting all the attention, as much as you tried to be fair to her. But I think you managed well, because she was so protective and caring about him.¬†

  112. Daisy Daisy March 1, 2012

    What you say is so true and harsh, you’ll find I agree with both you and Linda, I am just as confused as ever…lol <3

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      @6185e7ca159a8318789653f1fed9195f:disqus  your post was not confused at all ♥

  113. DangerousLinda DangerousLinda March 1, 2012

    YaY — We did it! ¬†Probably not the smoothest blog hop opening in the cyber-world so far… but… oh …wait! ¬†We don’t have to compare ourselves with others? ¬†Let’s just say we’re AMAZING then, right? ¬†And so it is!!! ¬†Thank you for all that you are, Corinne! ¬†XOXOX ¬†¬†

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 5, 2012

      Oh yes, we did it. Not smooth – but that’s what adds to the excitement. I’m so happy with the response, Linda. Thank you, pardner ūüėȬ†

  114. Janaki Nagaraj Janaki Nagaraj March 1, 2012

    I was in that bandwagon too…when my daughter was born…my sisters-in-law had also given birth to girls…all of them a few months apart and the comparisons just flew….then finally stopped when we realized that it was futile.
    When we are teenagers, i think it is the peer pressure to conform and be accepted that makes us compare.
    Comparison does robs you of your joy…you only learn it the hard way.

    I can’t find Linda’s post.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues March 2, 2012

      Oh how we love to make comparisons between babies Рglad you gave it up soon. 
      The teen years were hard enough for us. I can see that it’s just got harder for youngsters these days with¬†television¬†and social media to add to it! Linda’s post acted up very briefly, but it’s there now ūüôā
      Waiting for your post, Janaki.

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