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Unfolding The Deck Chairs

“Life,” Lucy tells Charlie Brown, “is like a deck chair.”

“Like a what?” asks Charlie Brown.

“Like a deck chair. Some people put their deck chair at the front of the ship so they can see where they are going. Some people put their deck chair at the rear of the ship so they can see where they’ve been. On the cruise ship of life, Charlie Brown, which way is your deck chair facing?”

“I haven’t figured out how to get mine unfolded yet.” says Charlie Brown

Deckchairs_on_sand

Unfolding The Deck Chairs of My Mind

There are days I feel like Charlie Brown.
Days I’m not sure of not just which way my deck chair is facing
But finding that I have several unfolded deck chairs!
Days when I realize that there is some much ‘unfolded’ stuff deep in my subconsious.
Yet buried deep within the dark recesses of my mind
This impacts
My choices
My responses
The way I feel about the world around
And what I feel about myself.

Amazing how we can go through life
Leaving so much within us ‘unfolded’.
So many unsorted emotions
Plenty of memories that we don’t want to recall
Truths we don’t want to deal with
And parts of ourselves that make us uncomfortable.

So we live pretending that all is well
That no one has hurt us
Or if they have we’ve forgiven them completely
Living our perfect-because-it-hurts-to-be-vulnerable lives
In our perfect-I’m-above-it-all worlds
Because like the title of Kelly Oxford’s book
Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar.

The truth is that I want to get comfortable with my imperfection
Comfortable acknowledging that I’ve been hurt
Sometimes by the ones closest to me
I want to be authentic about the fact
That I still struggle with difficult memories
That I still let guilt win over grace
That I still long to be acknowledged
As being ‘me’ by my family of origin

No, not everything is perfect in my world
It never will be.
But I will continue to unfold
Those parts of me that I’d rather keep hidden
I’ll expose my vulnerablities
Because that’s the only way I can be authentic
The only way I can completely be Me.

And now I understand something so frightening and wonderful-
how the mind clings to the road it knows,
rushing through crossroads, sticking
like lint to the familiar.  – Mary Oliver

 

12 Comments

  1. Kathy Kathy May 27, 2015

    Hi Corinne! This is a lovely post in support of us all just being who we are–and being happy with it in spite of everything. Surely we are all like onions being peeled layer by layer to discover what is underneath. I just celebrated my 60th birthday and can’t help but believe that this time of my life is so very rich for many of the reasons you write about….best of all is the appreciation of who we are at this time of life. Thank you. ~Kathy

  2. Clinging to the Familiar Clinging to the Familiar May 27, 2015

    […] found a new to me Oliver quote here . The first time I read the quote I thought she was admonishing the reader for clinging to the […]

  3. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando May 21, 2015

    “No, not everything is perfect in my world
    It never will be.
    But I will continue to unfold
    Those parts of me that I’d rather keep hidden
    I’ll expose my vulnerablities
    Because that’s the only way I can be authentic
    The only way I can completely be Me.”
    May God continue to unfold the truths for our lives, Corinne. We may not be perfect here, but we know we will one day be perfected in Heaven. We must be authentic, trusting in Him; we must be vulnerable, that His love touches our hearts.
    Blessings and love, dear friend!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | May 21, 2015

      Thanks, Martha. Yes, we need to be open and vulnerable to allow Grace to step in and make our lives meaningful.

  4. Aditi Aditi May 21, 2015

    Absolutely loved this! We might not know how yet, but the only way to go forward in life is if we keep unfolding!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | May 21, 2015

      Thanks, Aditi. You’re so right! I hope many good things are unfolding in your life!

  5. My Inner Chick My Inner Chick May 21, 2015

    The truth is that I want to get comfortable with my imperfection***

    Great line! xx

  6. Laura Laura May 21, 2015

    I love this! Thank you for sharing this part of your own journey. BTW I’m stealing the Oliver quote as a writing prompt for my own blog. Thank you! I’m so stuck just now and reading things like this are helping me.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | May 21, 2015

      Thanks, Laura. I struggled to write this too – it lay as a draft for a couple of weeks. I’m glad I mananged to get it out.
      Look forward to reading your post with the Oliver quote. That lady is truly something else!

  7. Debbie D. Debbie D. May 20, 2015

    That was so profound, Corinne! I think we all have some unfolded deck chairs. Great analogy and much food for thought.

  8. Lata Subramanian ( Lata Subramanian ( May 20, 2015

    Corinne, You have outdone yourself here. Loved it!

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