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What Are Your Anchors?

Dry Docked..
Everyday we hear news that shocks us. The incidents of this Friday, have left the world asking a whole lot of questions. When innocent children are the victims of such senseless violence, we wonder where the world is heading. We are saddened to the core of our being.

I think about Adam Lanza, the killer, a mere boy of 20. He was, from all reports coming in, taught by his own mother to fear the world outside and that guns were a way to protect oneself from the evil about. In the case of this mother and son, guns were their anchor. Finally it was guns that killed them both and caused Adam to become the evil they feared.

It makes me think about my own anchors. I ask myself

  • Who are the people who keep me grounded?
  • What are the places or things that give me a sense of security?
  • What are the beliefs I hold on to that make me feel secure?
  • What are the rituals I practice that keep me connected to myself?
  • What do I lean on in times of crisis?

Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. ~ Thomas S. Monson

Are you asking yourself these questions too? What are your anchors? I’d love to hear your answers.

 

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59 Comments

  1. melissa melissa December 28, 2012

    I lean on God concretely through my family. In times of crisis, I have my spiritual director to hold on to… especially when I have doubts and fears, frustrations and anger…

    I truly feel sorry for the children and for the one who did it…

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 28, 2012

      Yes God is a very present source through family and friends at times of crisis. My heart reaches out to those who have no anchors or are still searching for some.

  2. Jo Heroux Jo Heroux December 23, 2012

    My anchors are God and my family and my fur babies. They separately and together get me through everything life throws at me.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 28, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Jo. Your anchors and mine are very similar. 🙂

  3. Joyce Joyce December 20, 2012

    He was obviously a sick boy. As one so sick, I have to wonder why his mother kept guns in the house.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 28, 2012

      Yes, it’s sad that that he had such easy access to guns when he was so ill.

  4. b k chowla b k chowla December 19, 2012

    I feel very secured when I am in a Mandir or Gurudwara…..

  5. Chris Jennings Penders Chris Jennings Penders December 18, 2012

    Hi Corinne:
    Kinda late arriving here. Sorry. I have a number of blogs that I read and comment on. Anyway, love your question.
    My anchors are as follows:
    –My BEST friend
    –My belief system
    –My faith.

    My belief system and my faith go hand in hand. For a bit about my beliefs on death and dying, I think I can refer you to one of my blog posts:
    http://cjpwisdomandlife.com/2011/05/23/a-dangerous-thing/
    That blog post explains in no uncertain terms my entire world view on death and dying. I’m also convinced as surely as I draw each breath that we come back over and over. Yes I’m referring to reincarnation. I’m also convinced that when we transition and when we decide to return we do so in soul groups. The same souls meet in transition as do when we return.

    So if you ask me if I’m afraid to transition, afraid to pass, my answer is a definitive no. I don’t want to. I don’t think anyone wants to. But I clearly understand that I’ll be back.

    That’s the anchor I cling to. No! I’m not clinging. That’s the wrong word because clinging sounds like you are holding on for dear life as if you are afraid to let go. I’m not doing that. I’m not afraid to let go. I’m holding onto it.

    Chris

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Faith and community are very strong anchors, Chris. Thank you for sharing your experience and beliefs. To be certain that death is just a transition is a very powerful anchor!

  6. Anne Anne December 18, 2012

    You asked very provoking questions Corinne, but you’re right. We do need to confront them at some point of our life and proclaim to the world what really we believe in and what keeps us together. For me, my faith, my husband and my family are my anchors and safe haven. They keep me secure and grounded when the comforts of life would have me fooled that something is better than what I already have.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      What’s binds us all together is our common faith in the goodness of God and people, Anne. We’re blessed to experience that in our daily lives – strong anchors indeed.

  7. latha latha December 18, 2012

    I am speechless and muted, Corinne. About the whole episode. Deeply saddened like the whole world. It’s not just guns..many things beyond that. I never thought what keeps me grounded..for all of the questions, the only answer that comes to my mind is my family, my kids, my friends…

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      The incident was certainly horrifying, Latha. Since then, I’ve watched the parents of victims come out as strong voices of faith and forgiveness and I’m so glad that goodness prevails over evil. I’m glad you have your family, children and friends to be your anchors.

  8. Privy Trifles Privy Trifles December 18, 2012

    Who are the people who keep me grounded?
    Apart from God and my loved ones, I am lucky to be surrounded by people like you Corinne as knowingly unknowingly I learn from each one of you around me.

    What are the places or things that give me a sense of security?
    Ofcourse my home is my heaven and if you ask things it would be my books for sure as they give me the much needed strength at times of despair.

    What are the beliefs I hold on to that make me feel secure?
    My belief in Almighty helps me sail through and feel secure as I know He will take care of everything!

    What are the rituals I practice that keep me connected to myself?
    I pray daily and I also meditate at times when I feel the going is getting tough, just to keep myself calm and composed.
    What do I lean on in times of crisis?
    God!

    Lovely post, some questions we all need to think about and wonder. Off late such incidents have increased all around the world making us wonder what is wrong with this world and the children, in whose hands the future lays!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Privy. I’m so glad we can all be there for each other as we hold on to our faith and our belief in the ultimate good.

  9. Justin Justin December 18, 2012

    Great questions to ask ones self Corinne. Our World is reflecting what is going on inside many of us. Initially fear was used as a survival tool but now it seems that fear is used to keep us trapped in our own self limiting consciousness.

    We need to expand our knowledge and know that the only real thing to fear is fear itself.

    Take Care.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Fear can truly hold us back from becoming all that we are meant to be, Justin. And you’re right, the world is merely a reflection of what’s happening inside us all. We need to break out of our fears and move towards the awareness that we can do everything we set and minds and hearts on.

  10. My Inner Chick My Inner Chick December 18, 2012

    My heart is HEAVY. SO heavy. I too, word at an Elementary School.

    I will not utter the murderer’s name. He does not deserve to be mentioned…only the victims do.

    Without my many anchors, I would not have survived that past 2 years.

    XX Our country need LOTS of prayer & gun control.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 18, 2012

      Dearest Kim for you such incidents must bring all the horror back again – which is never far from your mind. This is so heartbreaking. Holding you, your family and your country in my heart.
      Love, hugs and many prayers.
      PS: I didn’t realize you worked at an elementary school.

  11. Mayura Mayura December 17, 2012

    Hi Corinne,

    I wonder why people (especially media) always circulate the name that shouldn’t dear 🙂 I think Adam Lanza got his name all over the world, but less about those innocent angels we should be really talking about.

    Obviously we tend to forget what has happened after a period and another story replaces this one. It’s very true we should not outlook, but think about what needs to be done starting from ourselves rather than waiting for next incident.

    Time sensitive post Corrine 🙂 Very nice…

    Cheers…

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Mayura, I understand what you are saying. However, I think we’re all in many ways fascinated by the workings of a mind of a 20 year old who would go on to kill innocent children in the very school he studied. A part of us is afraid of the demons that dwell with us – and how easily they can take over. The point is for us to look inwards for answers to find what it is that keeps us from going over the edge, and to nurture those relationships/things.

  12. Diana Pinto Diana Pinto December 17, 2012

    I feel there were problems in his raising and upbringing. The values that a child is instilled with during his growing years is important. Shoot outs at schools are quite common now and that is a dangerous sign.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Values and upbringing do play a part, Diana but it has also emerged that he is was a very ill young man. What is scary is that we could easily too go over the edge unless we are anchored.

  13. Jas Jas December 17, 2012

    I don’t know Corinne what must have gone wrong there and it puzzles me a lot. How a young guy can be driven to such a place where killing becomes even an option to consider.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Yes, it certainly makes one wonder how his mind worked and what sent him hurtling towards this dark destiny, Jas. It makes us want to stop and consider our own minds and how they work and how we keep them rooted in love and peace.

  14. Rachna Rachna December 17, 2012

    We definitely need to dwell a bit more about what keeps us afloat. The tragedy which shocked us all makes me wonder why the parents are unable to seek help when they see their kids struggling with behavioral issues. Are they battling demons of their own? Are they not perceptive enough?

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Good questions, Rachna. As we read in a post that Janaki shared this morning it appears that getting help is not easy. However, in this particular case the family was said to be very well off. It might appear that his mother too was suffering from some form of mental illness that made her keep people out of her home. Or perhaps she was too embarrassed by her son. We can only speculate from afar.
      The more important thing we can do is to prevent such evil pervading our own hearts and homes and focus on what we do to stay rooted.

  15. Galen Pearl Galen Pearl December 17, 2012

    So many of us are thinking and writing about this deep issue. I’m so glad you have added your voice. I spent the day in meditation yesterday. I think I keep coming back to what I believe about the basic goodness of the universe. And remembering that fear and hate will never conquer violence. I try to keep my heart open.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      I just read your powerful message, Galen and I thank you for it. I too believe in the goodness of the Universe. Every such incident is a reminder for us to reach out and take hold of this goodness. We mustn’t despair but find resources deep within to cope and to reach out to others.

  16. Harleena Singh Harleena Singh December 17, 2012

    I’m glad you came up with this post Corinne!

    I’ve also been quite disturbed with this incident, and feel sorry for the little kid’s who lost their lives. Yes, somewhere down the line I think Adam and his Mom had their issues and there certainly was a problem in the way he was raised, but who bore the brunt of it all…those innocent kid’s – what a shame.

    Speaking of myself, like many others, it’s my family that keeps me grounded and anchored. Had it not been for them, I really wonder what would have happened.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      It is a very disturbing incident, Harleena. Like you said, innocents paid the price. But isn’t it always so? The whole situation is so complex that one can’t put a finger on what exactly went wrong. We can blame the family, laws, society etc and still not really be right.
      I’m glad that you and I have our family to keep us anchored and rooted. What would we be without them, indeed?

  17. Leah Leah December 17, 2012

    My anchor is my faith in a loving God and that I am here for a purpose. We’re all here for a purpose, and that nothing is wasted, all the pain we experience is used to teach us. I don’t believe that God causes the pain, but that we, through our own choices and free will cause most of our own pain, but that our tears are precious, and we are loved more than we can imagine. Thank for stirring me up Corinne. That felt good.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Leah. I, like you, believe that our being hinges on our belief in a loving God who has created us for a purpose.

  18. Lynne Watts Lynne Watts December 17, 2012

    Ultimately my faith is my rock and my foundation but there are many friends who help to shore me up in tough times. They are my angels on earth

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Lynne. Yes our relationship with a loving God and a community can certainly be the anchors for our life. I know they are for me.

  19. Tameka (BloggerPoet) Tameka (BloggerPoet) December 17, 2012

    What a thoughtful, precious post Corinne. Here are my answers:

    Who are the people who keep me grounded?
    A few close friends and my sister whom I only just met in 2010. She is a gift.

    What are the places or things that give me a sense of security?
    I love the outdoors and walking in the park even when it’s cold outside helps to soothe me. Of course being in the house of the Lord is always a blessing and brings much peace as well. Sometimes just sitting and talking with a friend at home makes me feel loved and secure.

    What are the beliefs I hold on to that make me feel secure?
    My belief and faith in God is what sustains me always. In good times and especially the bad.

    What are the rituals I practice that keep me connected to myself?
    Meditation, prayer, listening to music, walking, writing poetry and traveling.

    What do I lean on in times of crisis?
    My faith, my friends and sometimes my family.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you so much for sharing, Tameka. I can see faith, community, Nature, and creativity being your anchors. Hold on to them, dear sister! ♥

  20. Lisa Marie Farfalla Lisa Marie Farfalla December 17, 2012

    Such a devastating and horrific tragedy. The youth of today seem so lost and have no conscience. It is really sad. Violence is everywhere… from the internet, to television, and video games. I keep myself grounded in Jesus. I pray that others will turn back to faith in God and raise their kids, with some hope and value of life.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you so much for sharing, Lisa. I’m glad you have your faith to see you through times of confusion and crisis.

  21. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando December 17, 2012

    You know me, Corinne – I lean on the Lord in faith and go to Him in prayer when troubles come. Yes, this was a horrific tragedy this past Friday, and we will continue to be in prayer for the families.
    Blessings, my friend!

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Oh, yes, Martha, I do know you. We’re blessed to have our faith to keep us strong in times of crisis.

  22. Vishnu Vishnu December 16, 2012

    I think for me Corinne, underlying spiritual beliefs and belief in God has played a big role in my life to keeping me grounded and helping me through challenging times. Every needs positive constructive anchors in life to be able to get through those difficult times instead of acting out with violence. All of our thoughts and prayers are with victims in the recent tragedy.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Vishnu. It’s very much the same for me. Aren’t we blessed?

  23. Sridevi Datta Sridevi Datta December 16, 2012

    Yes Corrine…these are the questions which each one needs to ask …but somehow along the way after yesterday’s shootout …I am asking myself how much attention we are paying to the children’s needs ? Adam Lanza was almost a kid …what disturbed him so much that he had to kill his own mother …were his needs not identified at any point of time …is it only the gun laws and the gun that killed the tiny tots…or is it something which we refuse to see …refuse to hear and refuse to feel…

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      That’s a good question, Sri and very relevant for parents to ask themselves. I read something recently (paraphrase):
      We talk so much about leaving a better planet for our kids, that we forget about leaving better kids to this planet!

  24. Punam Punam December 16, 2012

    Who are the people who keep me grounded?
    My Godfather, my parents, and some great authors who have made me who I am today.

    What are the places or things that give me a sense of security?
    God’s abode. I experience unexplainable peace when I am at God’s feet in the Gurudwara.. and when I am chanting His name all day, all night.. it has become second nature to me. There lies my sense of security.
    Also, that once can not depend on anyone else except one’s own self, because inside your self lays God.

    What are the beliefs I hold on to that make me feel secure?
    Believing in myself, my own power and the Universe.

    What are the rituals I practice that keep me connected to myself?
    Chanting, gratitude, saying thank you for things I believe I shall receive, and knowing that what happens is for the best, and shall happen for the best.

    What do I lean on in times of crisis?
    Again, faith. Period. Tears do come. But faith is there.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you so much for sharing, Punam. I saw your post today on the Gurudwara and I tied it in with your sharing here.
      Aren’t we blessed in our anchors, Punam?

  25. Dangerous Linda Dangerous Linda December 16, 2012

    Dear Corinne,

    I saw that you had posted a new blog as I’m writing my own, so I decided to take a little break and check it out. Of course, we are once again synchronized and writing on a similar theme. It gives me hope to look out of my own private world within myself and see the light growing bright around me. Thank YOU for being one of my anchors!

    Thank you for allowing me to share at https://www.facebook.com/DangerousLinda

    love, love, love,
    L2

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Isn’t the connection so amazing, Linda. I so loved your beautiful post on this – ‘Change Your Mind, Change Your World’. I’m so glad that there are voices of reason and peace like yours in the world, Linda. ♥♥♥

  26. Jessica Jessica December 16, 2012

    Chanting the holy names of God helps me to remain centered, keep perspective and be more of a service to those around me during turbulent and sorrowful times.

    Great questions in this post! Everyone needs something to ground themselves to so they are not swept away by the waves life throws at us.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

      Thank you for sharing, Jessica. I can see how chanting has helped you to be focused on the what’s truly important. God truly is an anchor we can rely on at all times.

  27. Sarah Arrow Sarah Arrow December 16, 2012

    As a parent we have a duty not to project our fears onto our children, that they learn and develop their own path in life. It’s tragic for the families involved, and now we have to stop and look to see what we can do to see that our children don’t become a future Adam.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 18, 2012

      This must be so hard for parents, Sarah. What do you tell your children to make them aware of the ‘big bad world’ out there and yet try keep them positive and hopeful…

      • Sarah Arrow Sarah Arrow December 18, 2012

        I tell them the truth, that the world is a tough place. They go to martial arts and they do lots of activities and I hope that they will see the world as a place of wonder, rather than a dark and horrible place.

        • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 19, 2012

          That’s the best way to go, Sarah. I do remember one particular activity you engaged them in – stitching clothes for their dolls! ♥

  28. adrianairis adrianairis December 16, 2012

    Sorry to be a bit of a lurker lately. But I have been thinking this same question lately. The list is long for that I feel blessed. I hope each of us can find something and someone to keep us afloat.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues December 17, 2012

      I’ve been doing much the same on your blog, Adriana – so we’re quits! 😉
      We are blessed to have family and friends as anchors. I do pray that we all can find something to keep us rooted.

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