In the last few days, I’ve been thinking about many things and as always I have my sounding board (a.k.a. my husband, José) to talk things over with. Discussing how I haven’t been able to learn to drive, he said something that hit home. To paraphrase, I want to do things and take risks, but don’t go the whole hog or give it my all.
I realize that is absolutely true and it is a pattern. I have lots of ideas, creative ones at that, but don’t commit to them in a way that can see the idea completely true. I invest a lot of myself, and yet something holds me back from taking that final plunge.
Just as an example, a few months ago, I started a series called Write Your Heart Out. The first post in the series is one of my most popular posts on this blog. Yet, I gave up on the series. My weekly newsletter too is very sporadic. These are small examples.
Let’s not talk about my desire to exercise regularly. Or actually, let’s talk about it! I always give myself the excuse that I’m too tired to walk or I don’t have the stamina. But last week, on vacation, I put in a good 5 kms in one afternoon walking in the hot sun. So I have the ability, but lack the discipline?
I’m not sure what the reason for this is. It’s something I have to work on.
To Be A Wildflower
As I was pondering on José’s words, I began to think of wildflowers. My mind, I tell you!
But there’s a connection.
I love wildflowers. They seem to grow in an aimless and haphazard fashion, but there’s a tenaciousness about them that is hard to ignore. I love how they find a way to blossom in nooks and crevices and in difficult condtions. They manage to combine freedom of expression with the ability to dare to blossom. Wildflowers dare greatly.
I envy them.
Seeds cast by the wind to land where they may, they stay and hold against most hot, most cold.
They persevere, roots shallow yet fierce and free.
They epitomize to me all that I sometimes yearn to be.
~Julie Andrews, Wildflowers
Like Julie Andrews, I yearn to be like the wildflowers – free and brave.
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