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Getting Good Advice

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“Listen to me”, she screamed as he walked out of the door.
“I’m going out to get a drink with the boys,” he yelled back, banging the door.

****

Things had been going from bad to worse in their marriage this last year. At times, it seemed to him that she couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore and then she’d fly off the handle at a casual remark. He had tried asking her about it, but she was evasive, saying, “You men don’t understand.” Today, he was going to make it his goal to understand, he thought to himself as he headed off for his appointment.

****

“I hope I’ve answered your questions – make sure you read all the literature I’ve given you,” said the doctor.
“I’m really grateful, doctor, I had no idea that she might be going through this,” he replied. “I will make sure I bring her in for a check-up next week.”

________________________________________________________________________________

I’ve used this piece of 9-sentence fiction to hint at the whole issue of menopause and how little information men and strangely, even women have on it. A woman not understanding the changes in her body and emotions could experience a lot of fears and her husband too would be completely perplexed. There’s nothing like getting good advice from a doctor about this phase of life. And it’s important that both partners completely understand this.

 

I'm taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words -3

40 Comments

  1. Gauri Gauri March 4, 2014

    A very valuable piece of information through your story Corinne. I remember when my mother went through menopause. It seemed as though I was living with an irritable and explosive stranger. It was only years later that I understood what she was going through. I guess I should warn my husband, I get pretty crabby with PMS, menopause will be an uphill task for all my family members πŸ˜€ Thanks again, Corinne πŸ™‚
    Gauri recently posted..Blehdy Suckers!My Profile

  2. Shilpa Garg Shilpa Garg March 3, 2014

    Fantastic message there, Corinne. Glad he decided to meet the doctor and took the initiative to know more about his wife’s changing moods and behavior! May his tribe increase!
    Shilpa Garg recently posted..Blog LoveMy Profile

  3. Psych Babbler Psych Babbler March 3, 2014

    How do you do it? Manage to weave a story and pass on a message! Never knew all that about menopause…guess it will help some day! πŸ™‚
    Psych Babbler recently posted..Sharing the loveMy Profile

  4. Debbie Debbie March 3, 2014

    Good story to illustrate the point that men and even many women don’t understand enough about menopause. At least this husband was caring enough to seek knowledge. Glad that’s all behind me now!
    Debbie recently posted..READ FOR ANIMALS – A WORTHY CAUSE!My Profile

  5. dreamzandclouds dreamzandclouds March 3, 2014

    It feels nice when your partner tries to understand the reasons behind your mood-swings! πŸ™‚
    And its true, being a woman even I don’t have much information about this, most often thinking will do it when the time comes. But I guess, knowing about the problems that may arise in future is always helpful in tackling it.
    dreamzandclouds recently posted..Everything’s gonna be alright!My Profile

  6. Kathy Kathy March 3, 2014

    It is amazing to me too how little information and understanding there is about menopause and especially how my doctor pigeon holes everything to being…it is because you are pre-menopausal. Really?? LOL So when I go crazy…it is because I am pre menopausal. Etc…great catch all and explanation for everything.
    Kathy recently posted..Into the SunsetMy Profile

  7. Rajlakshmi Rajlakshmi March 3, 2014

    What an understanding husband πŸ™‚ even I don’t know much about it since I keep procastinating… Thinking I will research when the time comes. But then it never hurts to be informed. Beautiful post.
    Rajlakshmi recently posted..Sydney Mardi Gras 2014My Profile

  8. Hemlata Kukreja Hemlata Kukreja March 3, 2014

    Corinne:
    I have been doing passive blog readings for a long time now. But recently I jumped in first hand blogging world. I am still fairly new in blogging circle. But when I came across festival of words on write tribe, I wanted to participate and get connected with other bloggers.
    First of all thanks so much for introducing Write Tribe to the world. Thanks so much for giving opportunity to bloggers out there to get inspired and motivated by participating in many writing prompt like Festival of Words.

    Coming back to this post:
    Wow, very well written. Not understanding or caring for your partner could ruin the relationship completely; especially when women go through loads of hormonal changes. I hope each man out there understands this and provides the needed support to his spouse.
    Hemlata Kukreja recently posted..The Shattering LossMy Profile

  9. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando March 2, 2014

    So true of so many women, Corinne. I was extremely fortunate not to suffer anything worse than hot flashes during menopause. When one has an easy time of it, we tend not to think how it adversely affects others.
    Great writing as always!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Smart Enough for a Smart Phone?My Profile

  10. vishalbheeroo vishalbheeroo March 2, 2014

    Misunderstanding make us grow apart in a relationship. I can’t help wonder how relationship changes in life and it’s quite complex..got me thinking how my relationship with pals has changed right from college to work place. Our relationships keep altering every now and then..Good take Corinne and enjoyed reading your first:) Master stroke:)

  11. A Walk into the Woods A Walk into the Woods March 2, 2014

    Not only menopause, but even the time during the periods when some girls go through excruciating pain, men have no idea how to deal with them. But the best they can do is be there, with support, pampering, touch therapy and a big hug would work well, wouldn’t it, Corinne?
    A Walk into the Woods recently posted..The WallMy Profile

  12. Sulekha Sulekha March 2, 2014

    The husband in your story is my kind of man πŸ™‚ I speak from experience when I say that an understanding spouse can work wonders for the troubled wife going through this trying period of her life. I had a harrowing 4 years, last two were terrible and my family barely survived my mood swings. I live to tell this tale, thanks to my dear hubby πŸ™‚

  13. Found in Folsom Found in Folsom March 2, 2014

    A very sensitive issue about which many of us do not have the knowledge and when given help in the right time, could do wonders..
    Found in Folsom recently posted..Locks of love….My Profile

  14. Geeta Nair Geeta Nair March 2, 2014

    Great post Corinne. Yes it is absolutely necessary that both men and women understand the reasons, the implications and the ways to handle menopause blues. But the sad thing is that many people don’t realize that this is the time a woman requires love, care and understanding. Many believe she is on the verge of insanity.
    Geeta Nair recently posted..Quaint are the ways of lifeMy Profile

  15. dxbnidblog dxbnidblog March 2, 2014

    i really thought it was different.I really want to learn from all you besties cornnie.

  16. Aditi Aditi March 2, 2014

    Great post and it is indeed important for the women as well as the men in their lives to understand the biological cycles that the body goes through. Understanding, conversation and not shying away from taking an advice from an outsider can help save fallouts in marriages!
    Aditi recently posted..Recycling her LifeMy Profile

  17. Sheela Sheela March 2, 2014

    Such unknown fears occupy a big room in the married lives of people…it’s true that both the partners should treat each other with love, care and above all understanding…It was truly informative
    Sheela recently posted..The forgetful princessMy Profile

  18. Sfurti Juztamom Sfurti Juztamom March 2, 2014

    You are so right. Menopause didn’t even strike me once when I was reading it. I thought it was pregnancy. Great message indeed and I am glad the husband put in this much effort in understanding her issues.
    Sfurti Juztamom recently posted..ShadowMy Profile

  19. Vidya Sury Vidya Sury March 2, 2014

    Great message in the post, Corinne. Did you know there’re hardly any books about Menopause in all the bookstores I’ve visited? I am glad he made it a point to get to the bottom of her distress and persisted in knowing why.

    πŸ˜€ Happy Festival!
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Love EnduresMy Profile

  20. usha menon usha menon March 2, 2014

    Menopause is a subject ,which is hardly discussed even by women. The man in your story is really concerned about the change in his better half. He wants to discuss his wife’s condition with a doctor. Wish all men are like him.
    usha menon recently posted..9 sentence fiction A new sim cardMy Profile

  21. Damaria Senne Damaria Senne March 2, 2014

    Looked very predictable in the beginning, but I liked getting his perspective too; that he wasn’t just an inconsiderate man who is wilfully blind to their relationship problem. Nice he realised there could be a medical explanation for the problem, went to see a doctor. So many times we decide someone has changed and not for the better and we react to that, rather than looking for the cause.

  22. Archana Archana March 2, 2014

    It happens not only for menopause, but for many other situations too, starting from PMS, depression, post-childbirth etc. But yes, menopause is rarely discussed than the others.

    I tempted away from the “speech”, thinking that I could not finish them in 9 sentences.. Great example. πŸ™‚
    Archana recently posted..Reality of the fantasyMy Profile

  23. Sreeja Praveen Sreeja Praveen March 2, 2014

    A very valid piece of advice, Corinne πŸ™‚ So much about menopause is confusing to women themselves, so it’s only natural that men are ignorant of so much happening inside a woman’s body and how much it affects her. Good that he took it seriously to get good advice from the doctor. That shows his will to understand and love her πŸ™‚
    Sreeja Praveen recently posted..Love is never lost…..My Profile

  24. Michelle Liew Michelle Liew March 2, 2014

    Uh huh! I think a couple should really take the time to empathize with the bodily changes each might be going through. Thanks for sharing, Corrine!

  25. Nibha Nibha March 2, 2014

    Nice twist in the end. There is still so little awareness about the topic and very little people talk of it without hesitation!
    Nibha recently posted..Alone She Sat…My Profile

  26. Eli Eli March 2, 2014

    Puh! I saw no hope for them at the beginning of the story , seemed so much anger, and he just “going out with the guys” How predictable… But then the twist:-) So well told, I loved that, and also that it seems there is a hope for them… as long as it is something that can be fixed right, and that there is love and a good foundation in the bottom? But maybe she could have brought her self in for check up instead of her man having to bring he along?
    Eli recently posted..Saved by a smileMy Profile

  27. Pixie Pixie March 2, 2014

    PMS, Menopause and even regular menstrual cycles – there seems to be very little awareness.
    We are bogged down by societal pressure and nonsense customs…
    and because of this, we fail to understand the actual reasons behind each of these phases.

  28. Obsessivemom Obsessivemom March 2, 2014

    Thank Goodness he was perceptive enough to realise she needed help. If only more couples ‘make it their goal’ to understand each other, lives would be so uncomplicated.

  29. Bhagyashree Bhagyashree March 2, 2014

    Menopause is still a mystery to most of us and very often it creates havoc in a family. I have personally seen someone go into depression and then becoming dependent on mood elevating drugs. So much so that now she cannot function without her pills.
    If only the fmaily was supportive and if only they had gathered some knowledge…………

  30. KP KP March 2, 2014

    Though it is there at some stage in every family,the understanding is poor.More than women,men should not how to be cooperative and caring when their spouses pass through this bitter phase.
    The post was subtle and not overt in conveying the advice.

  31. Kajal Kajal March 2, 2014

    I can totally understand how that can get, with the misunderstandings, lack of communication, lack of love and caring. I think its really important for both the partners to understand the change. A valid point made.
    Kajal recently posted..A Love BalladMy Profile

  32. Jyothi Nair Jyothi Nair March 2, 2014

    This awareness is really important these days. Especially since the age range is anywhere between 40 to 55 now. But in the end it is all about understanding, love and communication. Some people are mean by nature, so there would be hardly any difference in their behaviour. πŸ™‚
    Jyothi Nair recently posted..The WomanMy Profile

  33. Shailaja V Shailaja V March 2, 2014

    You know, when I started reading, I thought it was about depression. And your postscript drove the idea home about menopause! Yes, it really can be frustrating, isn’t it? How I wish there were more understanding men like your protagonist.
    Shailaja V recently posted..Fiction-The Unforgiving SeaMy Profile

  34. Suzy Suzy March 2, 2014

    Relationships are forged on communication. When that breaks down then it starts a spiral downwards. Sometimes however no matter how hard we try, we just seem to disengage. This is a scenario that is so true to life. Luckily in your story there could be a positive outcome.
    Suzy recently posted..Racing Towards DestinyMy Profile

  35. Roshan R Roshan R March 2, 2014

    Have seen something similar within the family in the past… unpleasant surprises can often result in chaos within the family dynamics, especially when there is a loss in communication or will to understand, can’t they?
    Roshan R recently posted..The Survivor’s SecretMy Profile

  36. Carol Graham Carol Graham March 2, 2014

    Excellent twist. And very true to form. One of those been there, done that moments
    Carol Graham recently posted..Blog LoveMy Profile

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