Love. Whoever associated it with cheesy symbols and photographs and the whole array of love dovey products was way off the mark. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a sucker for romance. I read plenty of romance novels and watch sappy movies. But I’ve discovered that love really can’t be tied into an easy parcel. Love is messy.
Love Is Messy
Love gives us strength, but it also makes us vulnerable. Real relationships (and I don’t just mean the romantic kind) call for us to show our true, messy selves. To reveal to the other that we are not perfect.
Having been married 11 years now, I can safely say that my husband and I still working on allowing all our vulnerabilities to show. It takes courage to lay your feelings out and show how needy you are. It requires you to dare greatly to give the other permission to call you out when you are wrong.
While we need to make space for the other and not try to manage their lives and emotions, we also need to be real about our own feelings. No tiptoeing around the other to make sure that s/he is comfortable at the cost of losing oneself.
I have walked away from relationships when I have found that the other person is not ready to go deeper into herself/himself and be challenged.
[clickToTweet tweet=”If you can’t show me who you really are, when I am revealing vulnerable self to you, then our relationship will be a very surface one and that’s not what I want.” quote=”If you can’t show me who you really are, when I am revealing vulnerable self to you, then our relationship will be a very surface one and that’s not what I want.”]
Really loving someone is not easy. True love demands that you show your real self, imperfections and all. It also urges you to give the other space and time to reveal his real self. S/he must be able to trust you with her/his vulnerable self. Love is patient, kind and sometimes hurts, but it’s always worth it.
Love is tears. Love is arguments. Love is fighting to be yourself while letting the other be himself. Love is very messy. But love is also what will allow you to grow and bloom. It is what will give you roots and wings.
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