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Split Open?

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Certain events in the last few weeks have left me feeling very cheated by some people I considered friends.  A simple call for space was met with so much drama and attempts to control me, that I was aghast. While at my age, the behavior and choices of people should no longer surprise me – I guess I continue to be naive at many levels.

The details are not important, but my feelings are. I have been told that my blog was being scanned for posts about them. I was even asked by one ‘well-wisher’ not to write anything about these people. I have and I will continue to write what I wish to on this and other situations.

No, I am not bitter and don’t wish any of these people ill. Neither am I saying that I’m right and they’re wrong. What I am saying is that I will not be silent about things that affect me.

I have sought over the last few years to make this blog a place of authenticity. I’m not going to be a cover-up artist and pretend all is well. Neither am I going to write  ‘tell-alls’ with names and details. No, I will discuss my feelings and how I am processing them. I will write about what I’ve learned from  situations. Because that’s what life is about – loving, being hurt, hurting, and learning to forgive and let go. If someone tells me that they’re above all of this, then I will start an application for her sainthood or call her a liar. I will also ask her to kindly stop reading my blog/s.

As I mentioned in this post, for too long I have allowed other people to dictate my words and actions – no longer.

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” – Natalie Goldberg

Thank you for your comments on my past few posts – the responses will be completed over the next few days.


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96 Comments

  1. sridevi sridevi August 19, 2013

    How did I miss this Corrine . I am so glad you did this post . Keep your chin up lady , you know how much you are loved …right 🙂 Big Big Hugs <3
    sridevi recently posted..On Promises etcMy Profile

  2. Hello, Corinne! It’s a very difficult thing to comment about misunderstandings between friends. I really don’t know the words to say. I just hope you’re ok right now. If they are your true friends, I guess they’d find a way back somehow. Our true friends love us, and at the end of the day, after all that we’ve been through, that’s what matters most. True friends are for keeps!

  3. Dagny Dagny July 25, 2013

    They actually expected you to fall flat on your face and obey their silly commands? Don’t worry about them then Corinne. They were no friends of yours if this is how little they knew you.

    Now I, I know you. I know if I ever tell you to ‘edit’ the content of your blog to suit me, you’d tell me with calm courtesy to go boil my head. Then jump in the river and drown myself for good measure.

    Hence I don’t give you fruity suggestions- specially when I am likely to get clobbered for them. Wise, aren’t I? 😀

    Love ya, did you know?
    Dagny

  4. Vidya Sury Vidya Sury July 25, 2013

    I am loving the Natalie Goldberg quote.

    Follow your heart, Corinne. Life is too short to dwell on unpleasant experiences. Best thing to do is learn and move on. Listening to others works up to a point. We do have lives to live.

    Smile, now.

    {{Hugs}}
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Soul SmilesMy Profile

  5. Looking For A Scarlet Letter - Everyday Gyaan Looking For A Scarlet Letter - Everyday Gyaan July 25, 2013

    […] Playing the victim on my blog. Was it in this post or was it this one? (I can only guess). That’s for the readers to judge whether I did so or […]

  6. Jyothi Nair Jyothi Nair July 23, 2013

    I go away for a while, come back with an emotional post and then end up reading this. Your blog, your space, your words, your life. As long as you are not using names , writing about your experiences, bitter or otherwise, is your prerogative. You have always been an inspiration to me because of your honest and well grounded approach to life. Hope you get over this hiccup soon. 🙂

  7. Jessica Jessica July 23, 2013

    I think it’s so important to have a place where you can be authentic and genuine in your reflections. You have every right to write whatever you’d like on your blog. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking, “oh maybe I shouldn’t write that”, regarding some material I’d like to post, for fear of reactions from friends/family. But, at the end of the day, our blogs are our way to express our creativity and people should honor that…or if they are going to be bothered, simply not choose to visit them.

    ::hugs::

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | July 24, 2013

      I too go through a lot of questions before I post something that’s remotely controversial, Jessica, because I don’t want to offend. However, more and more, I realize that I can’t be authentic if I’m constantly pandering to ‘what people might perceive’! Thank you for understanding.
      Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Holding Ourselves In BalanceMy Profile

  8. Vishnu Vishnu July 22, 2013

    Sorry to hear about this Corrinne and hope you’re able to continue to express yourself on your own blog. Sending you positive blog vibes and good wishes:)

  9. Kalpana Solsi Kalpana Solsi July 22, 2013

    This space should be a mirror where the feelings are reflected as a true image, neither magnified not distorted. I admire your stand to express your heart and what life is about.Keep it up Corinne.

  10. Magali Magali July 21, 2013

    THANK YOU for writing this post, Corinne. I had been absent from your blog for a while but went back & read the earlier posts too. I struggle to write about things like this & I end up keeping a lot of the anger inside & letting it stew. I wish I could end a friendship or any kind of relationship at the first warning sings. I let people in (in whatever capacity) & when they betray me it leaves me angry for days, I’m sure it hurts my health more than theirs, especially when the offenders seem to display no morals whatsoever. It’s good that you got this person out of your life. Please keep doing what you’re doing.
    Magali recently posted..Indian Visual Art Zine | 100% LOCALMy Profile

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | July 22, 2013

      Magali – I’ve found that writing is the only way I can deal with what is happening in my life. For a while, I thought that this blog had to be a only a ‘happy’ place – but now I know that unless I’m real, I can’t be happy – so why not write about it. I wish you healing too. ♥
      Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Taking Turns With The GardeningMy Profile

  11. G Angela G Angela July 20, 2013

    I am surprised to read this post ! I have always found something beautiful and inspiring to ponder over from your blog. I felt disturbed that such things are happening, I am glad that you have written and made a choice to remain who you are ! and what you want to be …. keep moving corinne.. you are an inspiration and you will continue to remain an inspiration …. God bless ..
    G Angela recently posted..F – FRIENDS & FLOWERSMy Profile

  12. Rum Punch Drunk Rum Punch Drunk July 20, 2013

    You know what? You are right. It is your blog and you can do anything you want with it. Don’t allow others to dictate what you should do. Tell them to open their own blog or don’t read yours. Sometimes if you worry too much about what your friends are saying, you’ll never get on in life. They will keep you in a box some days with a lid on it.

    I also agree that if it’s about someone else then to protect their identity you use different names etc.. That way, you can be free to express yourself and divulge your feelings without bringing them into the mix.
    Very well said post mate.
    Rum Punch Drunk recently posted..A Love / Hate RelationshipMy Profile

  13. Amit Amit July 20, 2013

    People can dictate what you write on your blog?
    I have had some nasty experiences but I promptly block such people so that they are not able to comment any further on my blog. This is not an area where I suffer fools.
    Amit recently posted..Daddy Diaries : Timings, Fire and Nosy AuntiesMy Profile

  14. B k chowla B k chowla July 20, 2013

    Absolutely..One is free to express oneself.In fact,one’s own blog is the place where one feels free
    B k chowla recently posted..WHY THIS INSENSIVITY?My Profile

  15. Belly bytes Belly bytes July 19, 2013

    I completely agree with you. If you can’t write freely, you are not being true to yourself. I too have had a similar experience but with Facebook where certain people were offended bu what I had written.

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | July 23, 2013

      Thanks so much for sharing! Hope all is well with you – it’s been a while since we connected.
      Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To My Inner CriticMy Profile

  16. Ruchira Ruchira July 19, 2013

    That’s what a writer gotta do…exfoliate cause that helps in the expression of words and be a great writer!

    Happy Friday, Corrine!
    Ruchira recently posted..How to deal with depression?My Profile

  17. Michelle Liew Michelle Liew July 19, 2013

    We have, and will always have, the rights to our own voices. Thanks for sharing, Corrine!

  18. Martha Orlando Martha Orlando July 19, 2013

    Stay authentic, no matter what, Corinne! You have every right to write what is on your heart and to express your opinion, always.
    I got reamed recently by certain readers when I expressed a rather controversial point of view. My take? I’ll durned well say what I want how I want to. If you don’t like it, leave the blog!
    Blessings, my friend!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..ReunionMy Profile

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | July 23, 2013

      Thanks, Martha. Sorry to hear about your experience – but like you said, we have the right to say what we like on our space.
      Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I WriteMy Profile

  19. Ron Ron July 19, 2013

    Corinne – As long as I have known you, you have always been a thoughtful and honest person and have written so eloquently about it. You are a purposeful teacher that learns from your own lessons and shares them.

    There is no sage advice to offer here that you haven’t sorted out for yourself, only support for you and the path you are on. Perhaps the folks who want to dictate to and control you should spend that energy on their own personal growth…I’m just saying.

    Be well,
    Ron

  20. Suzy Suzy July 19, 2013

    It is your blog Corinne so you should write whatever you feel. I’m stunned that there are some who would control others in such a way. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s the authenticity that endears me to your blog. Hugs.
    Suzy recently posted..Haiku – RainMy Profile

    • Corinne Rodrigues Corinne Rodrigues Post author | July 22, 2013

      Thanks so much for your words and support, Suzy! They mean a lot.
      Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I WriteMy Profile

  21. Sulekha ( Sulekha ( July 19, 2013

    Corinne,
    Life is full of surprises and we are faced with some unimaginable challenges and situations but how we deal with them defines us. I love the fact that you are so open and fearless about this whole fiasco.I am with you, write what your heart tells you to and never mind the insecure ones who write less but worry about what others do on their personal spaces more.

  22. A Walk into the Woods A Walk into the Woods July 19, 2013

    Apparently, Corinne… wherever I see, there is a painful churning going on in everyone’s lives. We are all battling so many things but what strikes me is their simultaneity. You are a brave lady and continue to be so. Truth always hurts especially to those, who wear the tag of truth on their forehead, and expect to be believed as honest people.
    The rest of us… will continue with our lives’ journeys, and record our learnings and rejoice in our lasting friendships.
    After all, it’s only during the tough times that God reveals who is really your true friends and who is not.
    A Walk into the Woods recently posted..ClosureMy Profile

  23. Bhavya Bhavya July 19, 2013

    Corinne,

    We never can please everybody. The best we can do is be ourselves, try our best and try not to hurt people. I’m more than 100% sure you are doing all of these. People get jealous, say some very spiteful things and at times do terrible things to us. We being humans, get hurt or are offended. I think that is natural, for it means that we have always been sincere in the particular relationship since the new turn of events has affected us so deeply.
    To learn to walk steady, we first try, fail and then get better at it na 🙂
    Stick by what you know is right, like you always have. We are all on your side 🙂
    Loads of love..
    Bhavya
    Bhavya recently posted..Continue The StoryMy Profile

    • Corinne Rodrigues